Rarity: "Courtroom drama or detective spoof? Who says one has to choose over the other, darling? Both are fabulous enough to get their chance to shine."

TWILIGHT: "Yes! Finally, I'm a Princess!"
SPIKE: "...Where's the punchline, Twilight? We're all waiting."
TWILIGHT: "Punchline? I'm a Princess now, Spike. I can't go around tossing out quips and jokey asides."
SPIKE: "But... just last episode you were all snarky and remarking for characters of the day to not come back! What happened?!?"

RAINBOW DASH:"Heh, looking back at this, Twilight, you might say that you needed help learning how to train your dragon!"
TWILIGHT: "Oh, sweet Celestia, reverse my alicornhood and kill me now..."

DISCORD: "Finally! Oh, you silly little ponies have no idea how infuriating it's been to sit on the sidelines while you all deliver uninspired opening zingers! Well, except for Pinkie, that meta one back for 'Feeling Pinkie Keen' and Twilight's response was gold. Now, I can show you all how it's really done - "

FLUTTERSHY: "It's exactly this kind of weirdness that put me off poison joke. Though sometimes I mix it into Angel's carrots when he's been misbehaving."

APPLEJACK: "...Y'know, I don't think the layout artist and animator of this here shot thought about the implications it has as a still image..."
APPLE BLOOM: "What d'ya mean, big sis?"
GRANNY SMITH: "Git outta here, you young whippersnappers, before those there creepy grins of yours give ma granddaughter the wrong impression!"

RAINBOW DASH: "I look like I have a mohawk blowing in the wind, don't I? Yeah, I think I just got about 20% cooler."
FLUTTERSHY [off-screen]: "What? But, um... I thought you said it was lazy and uninspired to just quote fan-loved moments for these intros..."

Pinkie: Wait… so you're telling me there were other adventures we got up to in between Twilight getting her castle and Starlight joining our harem posse?!? And our audience never got to see them?!?
Stop the presses! This calls for an emergency cupcake! And perhaps an emergency party. Okay, definitely an emergency party.

APPLEJACK: "What does this mean, Pinkie?"
PINKIE: "Not sure, but I've had this doozy every week on Saturday evenings for the last six or seven weeks. Maybe it means someone somewhere is writing up about our adventures?"

TWILIGHT: "You see, Princess Luna? If you just show other ponies the real you, they'll learn to love you all the same!"
LUNA: "If you say so, Twilight Sparkle. And perhaps then we might enjoy the same level of popularity that you generate amongst your fans?"
TWILIGHT: "Huh? Luna, haven't you been on the internet?"