Unused Season 5 MLP Episodes – Part 6 (Rainbow Confession) · 6:51pm Feb 23rd, 2022
Rarity: "Courtroom drama or detective spoof? Who says one has to choose over the other, darling? Both are fabulous enough to get their chance to shine."
Rainbow Dash: "…Except they're the same plot, just with the specifics of the mystery changed. We're way above reusing old content with a new lick of paint." [eyes dart fugitively to many future Seasons 6-9 episodes] "Gotta pick one or the other, Rares."
Rarity: [incredulous noises] "But I cannot choose! Have you even seen the lawyer outfit I'd picked out? It may never get another opportunity so perfect! Of all the worst things that could happen, this is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!"
Part 5 can be read here, detailing the Premise and full outline for Scott Sonneborn's unused Princess Comic Con episode, "How to Become a Princess". It's in full "Trade Ya!" mode of everypony getting their own subplot or vignette, either alone or in pairs, and it's glorious. Or at least very interesting.
As far as I've examined the behind-the-scenes documents of Friendship Is Magic (which isn't overtly exhaustive, I've sensibly ignored the last four seasons altogether, and haven't looked at Season 1-3 too in-depth thus far), this is the first and only episode that made it all the way to a script before being killed. The show's tight budget and schedules means any episode that gets this far pretty much has to be made, and in a sense, "Rainbow Connection" still was, but rebooting it months down the line under different writers doesn't really count, either to Hasbro or to us. Though it is the case, as we'll see, that M.A. Larson absolutely deserves the Story By credit he got on "Rarity Investigates!", for the broad plot and many of the ideas did carry over. It's honestly easy to say 'courtroom drama version of "Rarity Investigates!"' and be done with it. But there's enough to make a dive worthwhile. Plus, we have the novelty of looking at an actual script that isn't just reciting an episode we all know by heart, early or final version! That's worth it alone.
The publicly stated reason for not using this episode was Hasbro wanted something more visually dynamic, exciting and relatable to kids, hence a detective tale on the move. In the eye of the beholder as to whether that reasoning holds fruit. Mind, "Rarity Investigates!" did get a LOT of mileage out of that noir homage. So they may have had a point. Let's see if there are other reasons.
Rainbow Confession: Written by M.A. Larson – Premise
This Premise is dated to October 11th, 2013, which we might as well consider the start of Season 5's writing process. Not only were the Premises for "Castle Sweet Castle" and "Bloom and Gloom" submitted then (remember, they were written before "The Cutie Map"), but Premises for two unused episodes, "Fluttershy’s Nightmare Night" (whole plot doesn't really match "Scare Master"'s at all), and "The Other Mane 6" (a very… weird early attempt at an alt-Mane 6 episode for the 100th milestone, I'm guessing), were submitted that day too.
Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack are away on a girls’ weekend to the Crystal Empire. Rarity can’t go because she’s simply too busy (she’s been on a hot streak lately, taking orders from all sorts of trendsetters and celebrities). And Rainbow Dash has to stay behind for Wonderbolt Reserves training. Calamity strikes when Rarity discovers that Rainbow Dash has been locked up in the Canterlot brig and is facing a court martial!
She races to Canterlot, where she learns that Rainbow Dash has been accused of sabotaging one of the Wonderbolts so she would be called up from the reserves. To make matters worse, there is overwhelming evidence against her. Nopony believes in her innocence... except Rarity.
At first, the situation looks dire for Rainbow Dash. Rarity is a horrible lawyer (though she looks fabulous in her business suit). But as the case progresses, the desire to clear her friend’s name brings out street smarts and legal savvy she never realized she had. Through Rarity’s faith in Rainbow Dash, and Rainbow Dash’s faith in Rarity, they win the case (it turns out Lightning Dust was the saboteur and framed Rainbo Dash) and Rainbow Dash is reenstated, proving that even when things look dim, you should always have faith in your friends. Rarity has had to sacrifice many of her most promising accounts to devote her time to her friend’s case, but in the end she so impresses the Wonderbolts that they ask her to design their new performance gear.
Not really much to say, is there? By now, you can probably guess the rough edges like how Rarity's friends are written out of the episode, and Lightning Dust happening to be the perpetrator, didn't make it far. Rarity being a clumsy lawyer who gets better through determination as the episode progresses, as opposed to being savvy from the get-go but hiding it until the mystery is solved, is the main difference of note. It's easy to see why this was approved – at this stage, it truly seems like a can't-miss concept, and it gives the world its first Rainbow Dash/Rarity episode.
Rainbow Confession: Written by M.A. Larson – Outline
Unlike the outline for "How to Become a Princess", where I pasted in the whole thing, here I will stick to select chunks and use my own summaries to gloss over the rest. For it still shares enough overlap with "Rarity Investigates!", and otherwise we'd be repeating ourselves and be here all day. This is dated to November 20th, 2013, by which point Larson was gearing up to start being Story Editor for a whopping ten episodes. Man got out early, didn't he?
The outline starts with a teaser scene of Rainbow Dash leaving Tank off for Pinkie to mind while she's off to Canterlot for Wonderbolts Reserves duties, with Pinkie being her usual ecstatic self about the pet party Tank and Gummy will have. It's not too uncommon for outlines to go through a few different ideas for teasers, especially in Season 5 – starting any story before the inciting incident comes in is hard. This one isn't relevant to the rest of the episode, so no need to dwell on it.
ACT ONE
EXT. PONYVILLE TRAIN STATION – DAY
Rainbow Dash pushes her way through the crowd. “Come on, Rarity, we gotta get good seats!” Rarity struts behind like Lana Turner, apologizing to perturbed ponies and looking fabulous while doing it. She tells Rainbow Dash to slow down and stop being so rude. Dash says they’d already have a seat if Rarity didn’t pack the entire boutique. A wobbly-kneed porter enters laden with bags. Dash tosses hers on top and tells the guy to hurry up. Rarity admonishes Rainbow Dash. “I paid that gentlecolt handsomely for his services and offered to hire another to help him. You can’t just go around treating ponies like that.” Rainbow Dash tells her to lighten up. And to hurry up. They board the train just as the porter’s knees give out. From beneath the pile, he scowls after them.
INT. FRIENDSHIP EXPRESS – LATER
As the train roars to Canterlot, Rarity and Rainbow Dash discuss their upcoming weekend. Both are quite excited. This will be Rainbow Dash’s first official performance as a member of the Wonderbolts! True, she’ll just be standing on the sidelines as one of the Reserves, but it’s still an amazing opportunity. Rarity, meanwhile, has a meeting to discuss her latest project. Her designs for Sapphire Shores’ last tour were such a hit that she has asked her to design all the costumes for her next tour as well! Rarity loves working for the diva because nopony else asks her to flex her creative muscles quite so much. This is shaping up to be an outstanding weekend.
INT. CANTERLOT HOTEL ROOM – NIGHT (re-use from ep. 218)
Rainbow Dash is staying in the same hotel as the rest of the Wonderbolts and has invited Rarity to bunk with her. Rarity is exhausted from all the travel and heads straight to bed. Rainbow Dash, however, puts on her Wonderbolts uniform and poses in front of the mirror: “I’d do anything to fly tomorrow.” Rarity needs sleep, but Rainbow Dash is way too excited for that. She leaves to check out Canterlot so Rarity can have some peace and quiet.
EXT. CANTERLOT STADIUM – DAY (re-use from ep. 219)
Rainbow Dash is in heaven. All around the stadium, ponies zip this way and that making preparations for the performance. Suddenly, one of the organizers flies up and tells her that nopony can find Soarin. Safety checks are in ten minutes and if he hasn’t turned up by then, she better be ready to fly in his place. Rainbow Dash’s lifelong dream is finally about to come true! Rarity is thrilled for her. She’ll run to her client meeting and be back in plenty of time to see Rainbow Dash’s official Wonderbolts debut! It’s a shame the others won’t be there, but at least she’ll have one of her best friends supporting her.
The allusions to Ep. 218/219 for the room assets seem to be the wrong numbers (as that's "A Friend In Deed" and "Putting Your Hoof Down", neither of which have any scene in Canterlot, much less either of these two locales. Maybe it was meant to be "Sweet and Elite"? It has the stadium, at least.
Otherwise, we can see the early layout for what we know from "Rarity Investigates!". Different reasoning for Rarity being there, a gig of her own as opposed to simply being in town and choosing to be a good friend, but quite similar otherwise. No setup for the guilty pony yet either.
INT. SAPPHIRE SHORES REHEARSAL SPACE – DAY (re-use from ep. 420)
Rarity and Sapphire Shores are brainstorming ideas for costumes, which Sapphire says “need to make a huge splash.” She has very specific needs and Rarity is able to answer them all. Silver in the light and gold in the dark? Rarity knows of a special dyeing technique that can do that. Eighty-eight costume changes before the encore? Slip- on horseshoes should help. Delicate silk that can stand up to all the tour’s water effects and pyrotechnics?
(Sapphire was so in love with the Dolphin stitched headdress Rarity made for her last tour that she’s going for a total “Under the Sea” theme this time around.) There’s a supplier right there in Canterlot who produces the world’s only weatherproof silk! Rarity has aced the meeting and Sapphire Shores is thrilled! As she heads back to the stadium, she can’t help feeling that everything is coming up Rainbow Dash and Rarity...EXT. CANTERLOT STADIUM – DAY
She arrives at the packed stadium just in time...but is surprised to find Soarin flying instead of Rainbow Dash. “Oh, the poor girl, she must be so disappointed.” She looks around for her friend, but is met with cold shoulders and scowls. Finally, one of the Reserves tells her that the “traitor” Rainbow Dash has been taken into custody. She’s in the brig awaiting trial for attempting to sabotage Soarin. She’s about to be banned from the Wonderbolts forever!
It's probably already clear this episode has too many scenes to fit in a half-hour. Again, not a big concern, many outlines have too much content for their runtime, and streamline down as they go. The scenes with Sapphire Shores here is a good indication of that – essential stuff does happen in it, but a streamlined script would make it side business in another scene over this laboured path.
ACT TWO
INT. CANTERLOT DETENTION CENTER – DAY
The brig is similar to a stable, where each prisoner has his or her own stall. Rarity walks the hay-lined aisle to find Rainbow Dash. She frantically swears she had nothing to do with it, though they claim to have rock solid evidence against her. “Of course you didn’t do it, darling, I believe in you to the ends of Equestria.” Rarity says she’ll get word to Twilight and the others right away, but Rainbow Dash won’t hear of it. As one of Twilight’s “representatives,” something like this could cause her all kinds of embarrassment and stress. She has faith that Rarity will be able to clear her name: “You say you believe in me? Well I believe in you, too.” Rarity sets her jaw. “I’ll do it! As soon as I slip into something a bit more investigatory. I have a wrap back in the room that simply screams ‘justice.’” Rainbow Dash rolls her eyes, but is confident her friend will get to the truth.
INT. CANTERLOT HOTEL – SOARIN’S ROOM – LATER
The detective on the case, Flat Foot, shows Rarity the crime scene. He explains that Soarin was asleep in bed when somepony, most likely a pegasus, entered through the window. Once inside, they clipped the door handle with a pipe cutter (a la COOL HAND LUKE), then went back outside and jammed the pipe cutter into the window frame. When Soarin woke the next morning, he was trapped inside. Rarity asks what evidence they have against her friend. Flat Foot shows her a small piece of fabric that had torn off near the door. It perfectly matches a missing piece from Rainbow Dash’s uniform. Rarity looks worried.
EXT. CANTERLOT STADIUM – LATER
She interviews some of the other Reserves. They have all heard Rainbow Dash “confess” that she’d do absolutely anything to become a Wonderbolt. None of them are a bit surprised that she went too far. Rarity’s case keeps getting worse.
You'll notice some of this content seems a little hard-edged for FiM. I don't know about you, but I can't picture the show doing a "this pony is literally trapped in his room" bit like that, nor having Rainbow Dash in an actual jail (and just wait until the next scene). It's just hard to reconcile as something we'd actually see onscreen. Other episodes do sometimes have these shades of world realism that gets sanded out as it progresses. If nothing else, it sure shows how Larson knows his genre pastiaches.
EXT. CANTERLOT DETENTION CENTER, YARD – LATER
The prisoners walk in a circle to get some exercise. Rarity tells her client all she’s learned and it doesn’t look good. Dash has no alibi, there is strong evidence against her, and dozens of witnesses will testify that she all but confessed in advance. Dash says somepony must be trying to frame her, somepony who is carrying a grudge. “Gilda might still be a little peeved with me. Then there’s Lightning Dust...oh, and that guy I headbutted at the Gala, check him out. I bet a few ponies at the Gala weren’t too happy with me...”
TIMELAPSE “...and then there’s that falcon from my pet contest. Lots of ponies from flight camp. The delegates from the cities that lost the Games to the Crystal Empire...” TIMELAPSE “...and I scared Pip so badly he never even came back to Ponyville.” Rarity looks haggard: “Anypony else?” Rainbow Dash thinks, then says, “Discord, that guy never liked me. The entire town of Appleoosa. The guy from the train station yesterday. Oh, and Sweetie Belle.” Rarity is overwhelmed by the task ahead.
MONTAGE
Tense, Hitchcockesque music plays over a series of film noir style shots of Rarity interviewing suspects. [STORYBOARD NOTE: the characters should all be in close-up to avoid multiple locations]. These characters are mixed with a rapidly-filling notebook, hooves knocking on doors, etc. Each suspect we see looks angry, and each time we see Rarity, she looks more concerned.
END MONTAGE with Rarity standing before a massive wall covered in photos of suspects like McNulty in “The Wire.”INT. CANTERLOT DETENTION CENTER – LATER
“I’m sorry, darling, I’ve spoken to as many as I could, but...well, you’ve made quite a lot of enemies.” She says there just isn’t enough time to keep chasing them all down – the trial is tomorrow – and she has run out of other leads. Rainbow Dash, however, remains calm. She knows Rarity will come through for her. “You’re my only hope, and I believe in you.”
EXT. CANTERLOT DETENTION CENTER – MOMENTS LATER
Rarity steps into the bustling streets of Canterlot. The suspenseful music returns as she stands alone in a sea of ponies, any of whom could be suspects. She looks at the setting sun and knows her time is running out. Her friend’s future depends on her. She swallows her fear and a steel glint comes into her eyes...
INT. LA-TI-DA SPA – EVENING
A team of stylists works on her hooves and mane – her version of a late-night session in a law library. She tells the girls how stressed she is about her friend, and they offer folksy wisdom. One of them says, “Honey, you can flat iron a curl ‘til it’s straight as dawn and all you’ll end up with is a straight curl.” These words resonate with Rarity. In a flash of inspiration, she races off...
INT. CANTERLOT DETENTION CENTER – NIGHT
Rarity enters, buzzing with energy. “I feel like I’m right on the edge of a breakthrough, Rainbow Dash. There’s something about the evidence that just doesn’t make sense—” But Rainbow Dash cuts her off, aghast that she has been at the salon. Rarity tries to explain, but Dash is heartbroken. Her future is on the line and Rarity went to get her mane done? After the most serious fight the two have ever had, she tells Rarity she doesn’t even want her at the trial tomorrow, then summons the guards to take her back to her cell.
See what I mean? A detention centre seems a bit odd. And Larson does love his references as shorthand, as he's said in interviews. Another aspect that doesn't seem quite FiM is having Dash be sidelined for so long while Rarity is out investigating. And most of the scenes thus far don't play into the mystery other than to be strikes against Dash's character (on the level of a Pony abridged series, at that). Another sign of outline working-out-the-kinks comes in a separate scene with a new location/characters to give Rarity the needed clue. Though using it as the catalyst for the breaking point between Rainbow Dash and Rarity is something. Frankly, I have a little trouble believing Dash would so readily not call the others because of damaging her new Representative reputation (that's when the new Map roles of the Mane 6 was a bigger thing and they carried titles).
ACT THREE
INT. CANTERLOT COURTHOUSE – DAY
The courtroom is abuzz. Rainbow Dash looks incredibly nervous behind the defense table. She tells the judge that she will be representing herself. Then the prosecutor, Haybie S. Corpus, Esq, lays out the case...
FANTASY
Rainbow Dash sneaks into Soarin’s room in the dead of night. She lops off the door handle with a pipe cutter. When it hits the floor, Soarin stirs. She drops, tearing off a piece of her uniform in the process. Then she sneaks back out and jams the pipe cutter in the window, barring it shut.
INT. CANTERLOT COURTHOUSE – SAME
The prosecutor holds up her uniform with the exact same piece missing. The audience gasps. “Soarin misses the perfomance and the defendant flies in his place.” Rainbow Dash looks even more miserable than before.
SERIES OF SHOTS
One witness after another testifies that they heard Rainbow Dash say she would do anything to fly. When she tries to cross-examine them, she ends up saying she actually would do anything to fly with them, that it’s her lifelong dream. The audience gasps, and she realizes her horrible faux pas.
INT. CANTERLOT COURTHOUSE – LATER
Flat Foot is on the stand, and is telling the judge that Rainbow Dash has no alibi. The pony she was staying with didn’t even bother to show up in court. Suddenly, the door bursts open and Rarity enters. She’s dressed in an immaculate pink dress and accompanied by the stylists from the salon. The whole courtroom buzzes and the judge calls for order. Rainbow Dash asks Rarity what she thinks she’s doing. “I’m keeping you on the Wonderbolts.”
“Your honor, I’d like to call my first witness. The fabulous Sapphire Shores!” The prosecutor raises all sorts of objections. Rainbow Dash plants her face in her hooves as the courtroom becomes a circus. Sapphire Shores takes the stand and Rarity begins her questioning. None of the questions seem to lead anywhere, but each time the prosecutor objects, Rarity gets a “Did you order the code red?” moment. Eventually the judge realizes that Rarity really doesn’t have a point and says he’s ready to put an end to this charade and make his ruling.
Rarity looks at Rainbow Dash in what might be the lowest moment of her life. Then she glances into the audience and sees the stylists, who give her a knowing nod. Sapphire Shores does the same from the witness stand. Just as the judge is about to strip Rainbow Dash of her Wonderbolts credentials, Rarity fires up her horn, lifts a pitcher of water from the defense table, and SPLASHES IT ALL OVER HERSELF! Amid the chaos, she shouts, “Your Honor, I would like the court to notice that my stunning silk dress didn’t shrink a bit!” She holds aloft the scrap of Dash’s uniform, which has shrunken to half its size. She says that the Wonderbolts also wear silk uniforms that are weatherproof, which can only be made in one specific shop in Canterlot. Whoever planted the evidence didn’t know this and used ordinary silk. This proves that Rainbow Dash was framed!
The prosecutor desperately tries to salvage his case, but it is clear Rainbow Dash is innocent. As Rarity heads back to the defense table, she says, “What’s the matter, Mr. Prosecutor?” Mane flip. “Can’t handle the truth?” She rejoins the overjoyed Rainbow Dash, and they have a heartfelt moment together. Rarity says she never lost faith in her friend, even when everything pointed to her guilt. Dash is a pony of great integrity and loyalty, and she would never cheat to make the Wonderbolts. No matter how much flat ironing the prosecution did, Rarity knew her friend was always still a curl underneath. “Uh, thanks...I guess?”
Suddenly, someone leaps up in the gallery. It’s Lightning Dust, who has been watching in disguise. She shouts that it’s not fair. Her plan should have worked! Rainbow Dash deserves to be punished for getting her kicked out of the Academy! As the baliffs take her into custody, Rainbow Dash gives Rarity a heartfelt thanks for always believing in her.
The actual mystery and the facts leading up to it seem to not play that big a part in the episode, don't they? And revealing the culprit so hastily at the end like that, on top of a court scene that, though it does have a purpose, is awfully meandering… yeah, not a good reflection!
INT. FRIENDSHIP EXPRESS – DAY
On the train back home, Rainbow Dash asks Rarity how she figured out that the silk didn’t match. Rarity reveals that two phrases kept coming back to her head – the comment the stylists made about the true nature of things, and the comment Sapphire Shores made about wanting to make “a big splash.” She knew something was wrong with the evidence, but it took those things running through her head all night to get it. “So, wait, why did you even call Sapphire Shores to the stand?” Rarity admits that it was purely for the drama. She says it’s just in her nature to be a bit dramatic, just as it’s in Rainbow Dash’s nature to be a bit brash. On that subject, Dash says she’s learned something important from this whole experience. She hasn’t always been the nicest pegasus, and she’s going to try her best to be nicer to everypony from now on. But even more importantly, she learned that she should never, ever lose faith in her friend. They hug. Just then, the porter from Act One returns and asks for their tickets. “Beat it! Can’t you see we’re having a moment here?”
A nice ending, with some parallels to the mystery explanation in the episode we got, though the porter gag and the meta acknowledgement of Rarity being knowingly dramatic for the sake of it, again, seem like a bit much for the actual show itself. I'm glad the episode we got is more straight-faced about its meta humour, showy humour is rarely a good thing.
I'm going to refrain from commenting too heavily on the parts here that seem clunky – all outlines do, and they usually get smoothed out over time. I can see why this was allowed to progress from outline to script, the rough edges register as the sorts of things that will get naturally smoothed over in script format. Reading something in script format is a godsend, the pacing and layout does a lot to make the flow of scenes and cadence of moments just click in a way an outline does not. Speaking of scripts…
Rainbow Confession: Written by M.A. Larson – 1st Draft Script
Unlike outlines, there's no way to just post scripts here and have the formatting work as well, and I'm not able to post it directly for reading (besides which, requires you all to click back and forth to read it as I discuss it is the worst), nor to host it elsewhere. I'll skim over parts and sections that are largely the same. Mostly I'll focus on changes made from the outline.
The script is dated to December 30th, 2013, by which point Larson was starting to story edit for Season 5 (though he hadn't yet written his first script that would be used, "The Cutie Map" – he only took over from Scoot Sonneborn at the Polish drafts on March 3rd, 2014.
NOTE: If a scene number is skipped, it means the script marked them as separate scenes due to a change of locale, like entering a train, even though it flows as one scene. The scene numbers directly mirror those in the script (scene numbers are usually only used in tv scripts, and not in feature ones).
SCENE 1: EXT. PONYVILLE TRAIN STATION - DAY
The prior teaser scene with the pets is scrapped, and instead a scene on the train platform is used. The rest of the Mane 6 are these to wish them off. While Rainbow Dash is pumped for Reserve duty, Rarity proclaims her business meeting will be quite a bore. However, once on the train, Rarity shares she was being tactful to let the others know they want to be with them, and then she gets all excited about her meeting with Sapphire Shores as soon as the train pulls out of view of their friends, and the two share a little happy dance.
SCENE 3: EXT. CANTERLOT STADIUM - DAY
Spitfire informs the Reserves that their job is to assist the arriving Wonderbolt Legends with anything they need, and to fill in should one of them be unable to perform (they have been around for a long time. The Legends arrive, hobbling, frail ancient ponies, some with walkers. Dash rattles off some of their names in response to some of the Reserves making quips on them, and eventually goes to assist Wind Shear, described as a bear of a pegasus.
He is a gruff sort, determined to avoid her, yet she is super-helpful, to the point of, when he coughs, bolting to a concession tent and knocking the pony over to get a cup of water – only for Wind Shear's request to have been something else. When Dash mentions his 2° hairpin turn record, his crusty exterior shows cracks, and respects that she doesn't think retired Wonderbolts should be forgotten about like the rest. Dash, being Dash, does her version of his trick, and he is impressed by the 4, 5° turn, though his scowl quickly returns as they go off to the launch pad. Behind them, the chaos Dash caused from all the ponies she nearly hit, among other things, rests, with ponies glaring and rubbing their soreness.
SCENE 4: INT. CANTERLOT BARRACKS, RAINBOW DASH’S ROOM - NIGHT
Pretty similar to the outline, Dash is admiring her uniform while Rarity hates the bunks and drab walls, trying to sleep for her appointment tomorrow. Dash pop off for a flight.
SCENE 5: EXT. CANTERLOT STADIUM - DAY
Let me open this scene with the first direct extract:
Rainbow Dash, in uniform, stands with Rarity, all dolled up like Audrey Hepburn. It’s the big day for both of them.
RAINBOW DASH: "I can’t believe I’m at the Parade of Legends. Someday it’ll be me flying up there."
RARITY: "All in due course, my dear."
RAINBOW DASH: "Due course? I’m probably the best flier in Canterlot right now."
Several Reserves nearby take note of what she’s said. She has insulted them without even knowing it.
1st draft scripts still have clunkiness aplenty in making some facts too obvious with the pauses to make sure the audience "gets it". The rest of this scene is the same as the outline, with Dash being told she'll fill in for Wind Shear if he's not here in ten minutes. The scenes with Sapphire Shores and Rarity returning, seeing Dash missing and finding out she's been arrested, are much the same too, with minimal dialogue that isn't fulfilling the bare minimum plot requirements (another thing common to 1st drafts, often more colourful moments get added in future drafts).
The next scene with differences or additions worth noting is Rarity looking at the crime scene, where the detective shows Rarity what it looks like Rainbow Dash did, using the debris from yesterday to lock up his door/window. We get a fantasy of how this happened. After that, Rarity interviews first an elderly pony who thinks they saw Rainbow Dash going by, then all the ponies she annoyed yesterday, the evidence being overwhelming. It is more focused then the outline, but it's clear already the script is far more functional than the colour "Rarity Investigates!" had.
The scene where Rarity reports back her initial findings is less formulaic, getting in a few moments of Dash getting her hopes up at what Rarity's starting to say before the full sentence brings them crashing back down. Then, notably, we cut straight from Rarity getting inspired to try harder, to her at the beauty salon, so this script has cut out much of the excess. However, the next scene where Dash and Rarity argue returns to the formulaic "on wheels" approach, though it does use a Guard reminding them that Emotional confrontation hours are later as a comedic interjection.
Much like the script, the early scenes of the court case before Rarity shows up are… meandering and wandering, with the drama caused by Rarity's absence making them a drag, though there are some decent lines in there. It improves a good bit as Rarity enters – the appearance of Sapphire Shores as her first witness is brief, and then Rarity moves on to questioning Wind Shear himself, which is far more relevant (one brilliant change the script makes from the outline, having the culprit be present throughout). Wind Shear spends his time up there insulting Rarity and fashion, and when he coughs, like in act one, Rarity gimmicks Dash fetching water and splashes him, using the fact his uniform didn't shrink, but Dash's cheaper reserves one did, yet the "scrap" of uniform from Dash's didn't, to close the case, and grade Wind Shear into confessing. Though he is taken away, and was far more of a jerk then Wind Rider ever was, he weirdly does apologise to Dash, despite ranting just a minute about why he had to frame her.
You'll forgive me if I've provided very little dialogue extracts throughout – it's all told very similar to that used in the outline even when it's not the same, functional but lacking in glamour.
I'll just let the final scene hang here:
SC30. INT.CANTERLOT EXPRESS - DAY
The train approaches Ponyville Station. We see the other four ponies waiting on the platform.
RAINBOW DASH: "Listen, Rarity, before we get off the train, I just want to say thank you. I should have trusted that you would never give up on me, even when I didn’t understand why you were doing what you were doing."
RARITY: "Don’t think twice, darling."
They share a hug. The train steams to a stop.
SC31. EXT.PONYVILLE TRAIN STATION - MOMENTS LATER
Rarity and Rainbow Dash exit. Everypony greets one another.
APPLEJACK: "How was Canterlot?"
RAINBOW DASH: "Kinda boring. To be honest, I couldn’t even tell you what happened at the Parade of Legends."
RARITY: "And my meeting was awfully..."
She shares an “inside joke” look with Rainbow Dash.
RARITY (CONT’D): "...dry."
Rarity and Rainbow Dash share a smile and we...
FADE TO BLACK.
THE END
Concluding Thoughts
I'd assumed going into this that this episode was only scrapped for Hasbro's reasoning, and that is true, this plays out too adult-skewing. But beyond that, I was shocked by how mean-spirited this one was, far beyond anything fans ever said about Merriweather Williams' episodes. Between Wind Shear, the various reserves (who don't say a nice thing all episode), the judge, the prosecutor, and a guard, it's all so mean and cynical in adhering to its chosen genre. Anyone who thought the Bolts were mean in "Rarity Investigates!", honey, they ain't got nothing out of this.
It's very apparent now why this was scrapped: on top of the adult-skewing feeling and dour mean-spirited tone, it doesn't get that much humour, fun or comedy out of the situation, other than the novelty of Rarity playing detective and lawyer. Was Larson just pressurised being Story Editor? It's puzzling, his scripts usually have far more energy and life than this.
The notion of Rarity being bad at this and in over her head seems weird (perhaps this is what Larson meant by it being a parody of Legally Blonde), and it's far less enjoyable than the fun noir voiceover we got. The chemistry between Rarity and Rainbow Dash is nowhere near as natural either, oddly stilted and slaved to the script. Most apparent, to me, is how mechanical the script's flow between scenes is. Of course, the scripts of produced episodes have the advantage of the final episodes' execution by DHX to fill in the blanks, so I'm sure this episode would have been plussed on that front. But all the above definitely makes it one Hasbro was wise to not proceed with.
In any case, we still got the fantastic "Rarity Investigates!" out of it, and Larson's story credit there is about right – there's enough shared points for it, though the execution of that episode is rightfully deserved by Kristine Songco and Joanna Lewis. Perhaps having this as a base allowed them to hit the ground running, so we should be grateful things turned out the way they did, no?
I did not expect it would take that long to get through this episode! But the Season 5 unused episodes retrospective is almost done. Next time, this series wraps up with a look at "Changing of the Guard", the early version of "Brotherhooves Social" where Twilight Sparkle's first guard was Big Mac. You can read it here.
It sounds more like this was the concept and inspiration behind "Rarity Investigates", and all before the story was drastically changed until it was what we eventually got.
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Basically. There was a nearly-three-month gap between this one’s script being delivered and Meghan McCarthy drafting the redone Premise for “Rarity Investigates!”, so it’s absolutely the case that this episode was dropped with the intention of not reusing it, and later McCarthy (as one of her first tasks upon taking up the Story Editor reins again for the season’s 2nd half, and in need of some quick ideas and inspiration for the 14 episodes to go) dug it up, wrote a few paragraphs for the new detective direction, and gave it to Joanna Lewis and Kristine Songco to work some writing magic.
Which they did, and then some.
I was very surprised to learn how much of that episode’s greatness is theirs – I’d always assumed it mostly came from Larson, a reasonable assumption given his episode writing resume, but the above proves that is not the case.
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🤔Interesting. It kinda reminds me of the creative process Disney and Pixar movies often go through before eventually being brought to life.
I duuno; train wrecks can be fascinating to deconstruct! I kinda cringe at the thought of what they rejected, though.
RD's lengthy list of the people that might not like her enough to frame her is freakin’ hilarious! Sweetie Belle?!
Larson must be a fan of Legally Blond. The big courtroom scene is very reminiscent of the one in that movie. It even resolves on a point of fashion, IIRC.
Y’know, I think that Larson may have bee a victim of the Peter Principal. Great writer, but not so suited for a higher position.
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I just yesterday took a gander at the unused episode folder for Season 6, and opened what looks to be an early version of "The Gift of the Maud Pie". And, well… I'm just going to let this speak for itself:
Yeah… I have no words.
Anyway, I won't say I won't occasionally look, but at this stage it's taken me years to get over how the last few seasons (and really the last two) make me feel, and I'd rather just not consider how they were made, if even consider them at all. If you've ever seen the production insights DannyJ revealed in his Seasons 7-9 blog, namely the 'cheat notes' they gave new writers consisting of select episode to watch for characterisation on certain characters fully explaining why they became so flanderised (and said episodes were just select clips, not the full thing!), you'll understand why it just depresses me at this stage. Season 6 & 7, a little different, I'm a little more likely to look at them. But it's no priority.
And this is another reason I like to share this sort of stuff. Others will note references and nods I miss. Guess Larson wasn't kidding when he called this one a Legally Blonde parody in some Q&As!
As I've said elsewhere, Larson loves using these kind of references as shorthand in his scripts (Minuette is like Del from Planes, Trains and Automobiles, according to him), and while the points of comparison are often lost on me, they clearly work.
Very true. Of his ten episode run ("The Cutie Map", and Ep. 5-12 of this season), his own episodes are the best (depending on how feels about "Slice of Life", and one gets the feeling of big growing pains from the micromanagement from the rest. It is clear he flourished not having a story editor to answer to for his own episodes, and his stint in the chair let him make "Amending Fences" after pitching it for years.
Still, being Story Editor is a hard gig, and it's clear he cared and was trying. Far more then one can say about his successor Josh Haber… but I won't say no more here.
Oh. My. Ghod.
Well, that explains a lot. This is fairly common for kid vid, but it was Faust's commitment to telling fun and engaging stories with strong and complex characters that made this series such a huge success. Reversion to the mean makes absolutely no sense.
I don't think that's a bad thing at all. At least it gives him a more fully fleshed-out character to work with instead of Generic Background Pony #47. Flanderization (IMHO) is the result of pure laziness. Any halfway decent writer can take a flat character and build in some depth to them, even if it's just "borrowing" from other work.
In a wholly unrelated aside... I had a friend who worked on Ralph Bakshi's Cool World. (The awful transparent cash-grab that hoped to ride Rodger Rabbit's coattails.) My friend was really excited to work on the spider character and did a bunch of animation tests he was very proud of. When he showed them to Bakshi, he was told, "Jezzus, kid! Just shit it out and take your paycheck. Nobody's gonna give a damn about your fucking art!"
Wholly. Unrelated.
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Oh no, I approve. Only noting that most of the time it refers to a movie/character/tv show I don’t know, so I just nod to myself and trust it’s a good shorthand explanation (and since I know the finished FiM episode, I get the kind of character in any case). If anything, it’s a great technique for making a once-off character stand out, something FiM did time and time again. Just look at Minuette in “Amending Fences”, among many, many others. Some of my other favourites include the receptionist in “Rarity Takes Manehattan” (written after Grace from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, exactly the kind of film the show staff would have grown up on; meanwhile her voice is basically Annie from Ghostbusters). And so on.
You just keep getting around, don’t you?
While Bakshi’s legacy as the first notable person to do adult-aiming American animation is important… there’s not a one of his films that isn’t a visual travesty. At least the urban-set ones kind of fit that aesthetic, the fantasy ones are a visual hodgepodge (I still remember watching a clip of Wizards for the first time and being bamboozled at how poorly animated and composited it was). Then you have how the films are just so nasty for the sake of it, a legacy that still runs rampant in adult animation today. And finally, as you note, you have Bakshi as a person, apparently not giving a damn about anything resembling art.
There will always be Bakshi’s in the world of media and animation specifically, won’t there.
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God damn, the stark reminders of how different peoples' opinions are is always a novelty.
M. A. Larson did voice his displeasure at being a story editior. And Season 5's production period is when he wrote the original draft for what became "Fame and Misfortune", that Hasbro insisted he turned into an attack the critics episode, which Larson didn't like and ultimately shelved the script because he thought it was too mean. Really feels like Hasbro had it out for Larson for some reason at that point. Maybe it had something to do with the backlash against "Magical Mystery Cure"?
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It's easy to paint these kinds of stories as one of egos and such (and sometimes, egos are involved; just look at the power struggle between Michael Eisner and Jeffery Katzenberg at Disney in the 90's that came to shape the future course of both the company and Western animation as a whole). But based on the evidence I do have (which isn't all of it; there's tons in the leaks I haven't looked at or don't have access to), it just more seems to be a conflict of styles, what Larson wanted for the show versus what Hasbro wanted.
And, well, it is their property. As Haber amply shows over the next few seasons, sometimes the executives and property owners are fully right to insist on things not being done the way the Story Editor wants. So, it isn't all black-and-white, even if Larson does very much seem in the right on this one.
It really shows another important thing Lauren Faust and Rob Renzetti did during their tenure, absorbing most of the notes before they reached the writers. Though as that was when the property hadn't aired yet or had only just aired, Hasbro were a little looser and not forcing their viewpoint as much, long as Faust and co were delivering quality work (I cite Larson's infamous anecdote of having two executive notes for "Sonic Rainboom", one of which was a helpful suggestion).