Now that I have been informed that I actually did win (I thought I was second place) Here is my challenge. for the picture here use the prompt, "A changeling is embarrassed when it's roommate finds it addicted to changing into Pinkie Pie." Insane prompt? I hope so. Discussion time!

Here is the image, btw:

Well, plus one leg.

I got a question: what does Pepper have to do with this?

316005 He is a good doctor. Perhaps the roommate asked him for advice?

So, we basically just throw out an outline/story/anything here? Or do we go somewhere else? Very nice prompt, by the way. That's some mad stuff.

316091 Here sounds good enough to me. one thing though, we have 3 days to work on this one. after that we stop with the ideas and start the critique. At least, that's the plan...

316101
Understood, I shall initiate think cycles.

We need more Sweetie faces >_<

Just as a minor thing, we should probably have some sort of format to stick to whilst doing this. I'd suggest:

Genre: IE, is the story in comedy, romance, grimdark etc. In other words, how you'd intend the story to go over.

Setting: Characters, locations and point of time (IE before, during or after a certain season).

Main plot: What happens in a brief summary.

Though that's just a suggestion. If you want to do it any other way, go right ahead

316883 That sounds like a good idea. When we post, in 2 more days, let's follow it.

316164 316005 Get those grey matters in gear!

Seeing as I'll probs be asleep when the three day mark clicks over, I'm gonna go dump this down now.

Genre: Dark/Horror, mainly Lovecraftian. Possible parody elements involved (after all, it's ponies in Lovecraft. It's hard to be both cute and terrifying.)

Setting: Set in long after the show has ended, either in a university or flat (somewhere where you have roommates). Characters will include the roommate - who is the main character - the addicted one, a random friend, a cultist and five unknowns. Also Celestia is mentioned.

Main plot: Main character (who's a pony btw) walks in on the changeling preening himself in front of the mirror as Pinkie Pie. He confronts him and finds out that his roommate isn't sure why he keeps on turning into this one pony. Main character resolves to find out. After a long period of searching with his friends (ie, a bit of filler) followed by a trip to the library, he finds out that a sinister (brrhh) cult has been gathering together changelings and brainwashing them into thinking they're the mane six in order to resurrect Celestia/Cthulhu through the elements of harmony. Oh no! They have to be stopped, at which point the major plot twist comes into being when, after a series of unsubtle hints about the main character's characteristics, it turns out he's the changeling they brainwashed as Twilight. And then... some kind of ending, I'm still uncertain on that. It just ends, okay?

And so... it begins. Tear it to pieces, gentlemen.

316164 316005 318036 one down, three to go. i'll post mine in a few hours, just to give you guys a bit more time. get to it!

Genre: Comedy, Slice of Life

Setting: It's set after season two ends, in a slight parallel universe. It's the same as the show's universe, but it has a bunch of colleges where ponies can go to learn cool stuff. There is one for changelings as well, part of a treaty between Chrysalis and Celestia. The changelings behave and in return they can have lots and lots of love to feed on (also, they don't get their asses handed to them by the Elements of Harmony). But that's beside the point, it's just the setting and it will be scarcely explored. The idea is to focus on the Changeling fella and his friend. There will also be a Bowlegs cameo (an OC of mine), Pinkie, Chrysalis, Celestia, Luna and the CMC will make an appearance for laughs. Also, another OC who has no name yet.

Main plot (not that kind): Twin tale (that's the addicted changeling) is found by his best mate (no name yet). He saw Pinkie hopping around the college when he was practicing his shape-shifting skills. He is a very bad shape-shifter, always getting something wrong. But for some reason, he can transform into Pinkie perfectly. But when he tries to change into somepony else, he gets something messed up, so she's his best transformation ever. He gets addicted because it's easy and it fills him with momentaneous joy, feeling like he is actually good at something. It's alright at first, but it gets outta hand when he refuses to/can't go back to his usual form. They go to all sorts of doctors to find an answer, when they finally give up and take him to a Addicted Anonymous meeting, where they'll find a Celestia obsessed with manipulating other ponies into becoming couples, CMCs addicted to cutie mark crusading and Luna who gets a coffee/game addiction. Bowlegs just makes a quick joke "Mighty sorry fer that. Ah thought this was the saloon. Mind if Ah take that trash can? Much Obliged". And the whole meeting is orchestrated by Pinkie. In the end, the meeting turns into a huge mess and chaos and Twin Tale snaps out of his transformation during the confusion.

The end.

Or... IS IT?!

Dun-dun-duuuuuun

Genre: Comedy, probably another one I'm blanking on.

Setting: Well before the invasion of Canterlot, shortly after the Nightmare Moon Incident. University of Espionage and Stealth in Changussia, Capital of the Changeling Empire. Dorm room 342, room for two Changelings, which will have bug-like names. Cappa and Scorpo, maybe. I dunno, I'm open to ideas, though I do like Cappa.

Plot:
The Changeling Empire has been without new food for a long time, living off the love Changelings hold for their nation (which is not filling). Recently, the sun did not rise when it was supposed to, and when it finally did, some of the more sensitive Changelings felt that something about the world was different, Scorpo being one of them.
A few weeks later, Cappa comes back to his room to find a weird pink thing in his room, unlike anything he has ever seen before. It looks like a Changeling, but has no wings or horn, and a crazy mane. He stands in the door stunned, before realizing it's Scorpo, and tells him to turn back. They have an agreement on no shape-changing in the room, to keep things calmer (after Cappa turned into Scorpo's tutor as a joke, and he failed a Basic History test as a result).
Scorpo reveals that he can't turn back. He's been stuck as this creature for 2 hours, and parts of the names "Pinkie Pie" and "Equestria" keep bouncing around his mind. Deciding this could mean something, they go to the medic to find out what is up. The Medic diagnoses him with some sort of brain condition, forcing him to remain in this form, and reveals that there has been 5 other cases of this. He sends them to see Chrysalis, who is only a strategic planner at this point. The last ruler just died, and the Changelings choose a new leader based on who can find a food source. Chrysalis meets with all 6 of the forcibly changed Changelings, and then goes to a Changeling Oracle. She learns of the land of Equestria, along with an approximate idea of where it is.
Desiring power and fame, she decides to infiltrate Equestria and see what is going on. The story ends with her transforming into a form she has designed from looking at the mane 6 Changelings: a blue unicorn with a white mane and a cutie mark with her house insignia on it (Trixie). Then she leaves to infiltrate Equestria.

I might drag it out to include her time spent studying Equestria, including Ponyville, and encountering Cadence during the Discord incident. And yeah, I did just make this all up. I'm rather happy with where it went, but anyway. It's a rough rough draft of a rough plot.

318087
I'm going to let Aquillo or Fire set the precedent on the next bit, but I do have one thing to say:

Yes! More Bowlegs!

316164 316005 318036
Genre: heartwarming comedy
Setting: post season 2 finale, Changeling hive.

Summary: From the view of the addict, named Sting, who finds that his hive is uniformly depressed from their failed invasion. Unfortunately for him, every time the depression around him builds past a certain point, he turns into Pinkie. To make it worse, his transformation seems to be acting like the real Pinkie, which is driving Sting insane. Read, as he begins to learn just how to
cheer up everyone with the terror of "The Party."

Plot: Follows Sting while he finds himself going crazy. He ends up having conversations with the developing personality of his transformation in his head. Fighting her for control when someone needs cheering up. They end up in balance, with Sting making friends with the Pinkie transformation. Also, since I work better with dialogue than description, here is a quote that ran through my head when thinking this up. "You have connected to the Pinkie Network, and your call is important to us. Please hold while we play boring music that will be interrupted every time you start to think it isn't so bad." "PINKIE!!! I need to figure out why my room is filled with about a hundred pounds of streamers! "

318221

this has so much potential. specially imagining a changeling throwing a party

Also, pinkie. 'nough said

318139 318087 318036 Now, because we only have a handful of fics, let's take a day to comment on each one. Aquillo's is first, so lets start there. First off, I would need to feel the horror of WHY resurrecting Celestia is a bad thing. It doesn't seem too bad at the moment. If I had to do a horror fic (against my will) I would have changed it to changelings are the only free race around, having captured ponies and made them food sources long ago. it cuts off the main character from seeking help and gives off the feeling of isolation, sans the roommate. Perfect for horror. What say you? Also, thanks Nagagon.

318036

So, the roommate (who seems to be a pony at the beginning) is the Twilight changeling? Well, that's something that could be done well with some balancing.
As Fire said, there'll need to be some sort of explanation on why Celestia returning is a BAD thing. Did she go crazy and have to be put down? Has the world shifted to a changeling base, and she refused to go along? Or did Discord get to her? Or has a whole body of (false) myth grown up around her?

I dunno, it's kind of hard to say more just from a plot summary. XD

318270 Nice speculation.
318036 You are also going to need to show how the brainwashed changelings are able to act. If it becomes mind horror, you could show a gradual suppression of the natural personality of the roommate. Hollowing out the psyche to leave room for the implant. It is a common horror tactic.

318221

Aw, damn, horror. I'm not good with those

Okay, let me think... The biggest problem here is not the fact that you have no reason to why they shouldn't resurrect Celestia, but rather you created a plot summary about a big story. There are some details you are bound to find while you write, Celesita being an example of them.

I agree with Fire on the whole description of the changelings mind slipping away, making him insane. I think it would work very well if you focused on the mind games. Also, I'm assuming there is a ring leader to the cult right? Such organizations need someone to lead them, otherwise they are a bunch of mindless worshippers with no cause or future. If you do create a character that commands the cult, try to make him a great mind bender, someone who is charismatic, kind, but cruel and manipulative. And the less you show him, the better. Christopher Paolini did it with Galbatorix in the Eragon series. The first time he actually shows up is halfway through the 4th and last book. Because you read all of the stuff Galbatorix can do, you start to fear him because you don't know what are the limits of his powers and ambitions. Heck, you don't even know what he looks like! If you can use this technique, it could create a great psycho villainish character

318309 A villain is a good additional possibility. One thing to note though is that manipulative jerks can be problematic, but the worst enemy is a zelot who believes entirely in his cause. they can become quite freaky when the situation calls for it.

318316

Both woudl work perfectly, but I guess in the end of the day it depends on the objective of the story. Is it supposed to be scary and creepy? Definitly go for the manical enthusiast. Going for suspense and mistery? Manipulative bastard is the way.

318320 Absolutely.
318036 Another possibility. After going through changing into Pinkie, you could add some betrayal by the changeling. Especially if he was to go Pinkamena.

318334
ohhhh, nice

Awww, man, I missed it. I was too busy napping and doing nothing to notice. I wasn't even really prepared for this anyway. Just some thing about the embarrassed changeling eventually killing the Pinkie one. That's pretty much all I had.

But I am ready for some reviewing!

318036
Very good. With a good plot twist.

318087
I don't really like the ending with the changeling just magically getting over his problem amiss all the chaos. But I can't come up with a better one. I just don't like it. It sounds too unrealistic.

318132
This one is probably my favorite. No bad things to say about it. Very nicely done.

318221
What Nagagon said. 318243

Very nice job to everyone!

Mates, weren't we supposed to thrash someone else's story today?

319394

Sure. And whose is next? Let's see... OH. Yours!

Alright, let's go!

So, good idea for a setting. Make sure you establish that it's an alternate reality somehow so readers can tell and avoid confusion, but as you said, that's not important to the story. As to the actual story, there's not much to say, other than that I like it. It's a basic idea that can be expanded to a strong story, and no one will see the AA meeting at the end. The dialogue potential between your characters in the AA group is amazing looking, you might be able to pull off some assassinations with laughter. And again, YES, more Bowlegs. Will you fit this into your "Violet Fire" universe?

Edit: Maybe, instead of a "Deus ex machina" transformation end, he and Pinkie could hit it off and go on a pranking raid or something?

Good work on the idea!

319394 319413 Ah, I was just giving 318036 the last few minutes to defend himself. Oh, well. I guess it is time to start on yours then Nagagon. I wanted to ask if you were going to explain why the Pinkie transformation works so well for Twintails. Explaining that (using Pinkie as the one to explain) may end up with a few extra chuckles for your counter. Also, Celestia is addicted to shipping? I am surprised that it isn't cake that she craves.

319413

Should've kept my mouth shut

Anywho, I wasn't thinking of setting it on the same universe as Violet Fire. Bowlegs would just cameo for gags, that's all. As for dialogue, I've already started cooking up some dialogue for the meeting, specially Celestia. And sorry if the ending wasn't very clear. The idea is that, during the mess, Twin Tale's friend loses track of him. When everything settles down, he goes looking for him, only find him back to his usual form. This would be the dialogue:

Friend: Twin Tale?!
TT: Hey there...
Friend: You... you're... you're back?!
TT: Yeah, funny thing... during the confusion I kinda just, snapped back.
Friend: You can't have just snapped back! What happened there?!
TT: I-I don't remember. I hit my head on the wall. Next thing I know, I'm me again.
Friend: That was IT?! That was all you needed?! A blow to the head?!
TT: Yeah, I guess.
Friend: Well, that was anti-climatic. I feel like I just lost my time reading a story that had a bad ending.
TT: Yeah... I hate when that happens.
Friend: Hey, buddy? Why are you blushing?
TT: *defensive* No-no reason!
Friend: And your mane... *smells* smells like... Cotton Candy?
TT: I-I-I got hungry! We should go!

On an epilogue/extra scene I'll show that TT and Pinkie actually talked during the mayhem and that she said she liked his transformation and wanted to hang out. Yes, I'm pairing them. Why? Because I can

319441

throughout the chapter the idea is to drop a few "subtle" hints that TT is actually obsessed with Pinkie for some reason, which, at the end, will be because he really likes her mane. If you catch my drift.

Oh, alright, he likes her! There.

319462

Works for me! It gets a little bit meta, but that's okay (makes it funnier). And awwww, Changeling crush! That could be fun to explore...

319441 Whoops, sorry to throw off the plan. >_< Is criticism something to be defended against? Isn't it more of something to take into account when planning, and maybe talk to the person about if you have questions? Sorry, had a philosophical moment there.

319478

You should meet a friend of mine. The amount of his alcoholical intake is proportinal to his PhD level in Philosophy. It's a blast to talk to him when he gets wasted

319478 It was more to give him a chance to go over which advice he would take, not really to battle. You guys have similar opportunities.

319478 Hey, if it's mutual, he can have a marefriend and a snack all in one.

319480

Douglas Adams type philosophy? That could be REALLY fun... I need to find someone like that. He might even be able to teach me to spell philosophy without spell-check!

319491 Both of those are very fair points. *bows* Well done sir!

319497 I try. Also, does it really matter to the universe how you spell philosophy? Why, we may not even exist, and you are worried about spelling! I suppose all of the figments of the dream that is life that can spell philosophy will tell you that you were doing it wrong, but I'm sure that they will stop existing at some point. Why spell check at all?

319480 Actually, now that I think about it, having Celestia ship ponies together will work out for the story. She may just be the one pairing up Twin Tails and Pinkie. If that is the case, having the other addicts' vices play a role in getting them together may also benefit you.

319510

I... did not think of that at all

Stupid nagagon, missing a golden opportunity again!

319503 Well, as Descartes said, "Cogito ergo sum." If the mere act of me thinking proves I am capable of existing, then I shall proceed under the assumption that I do exist, unless some VERY good proof comes to the negative (and it is far easier to prove that something DOES exist than to prove that it doesn't). Since I have good evidence that I do exist, than I shall also operate under the assumption that the universe exists, because otherwise I will get very bored. Now, in this theoretical universe I have chosen to believe in, I have the option to use spell-check, and to attempt to be grammatically correct in my theoretical internet dealings. Thus, since I wish to spell correctly in this universe I have chosen to believe in, I must attempt to spell words correctly, and spell-check can help me with that.

Another point: I notice you make effort in your grammar as well, which means you too have chosen a similar stance to mine. Since my survey sample has a 100% result in my belief system, I will declare myself among the majority, thus making me sane. Since I am sane, that must mean my beliefs are correct, proving the universe, and the existence of "philosophy."

I think I just hurt myself with those logical fallacies, but what can I do?

Further statement: Rainbow Dash looks boss with aviator goggles.

319514 That's why we are here! We serve some kind of purpose!

319517 I am do rite good. Also, yes. Boss.

You were seriously asking for that if you named ME as your proof of sanity.

319514 Sweet Celestia. That idea is pure genius.
Let's see, other addictions that could be played with... Perhaps include a scene of rampant destruction that led to Twin Tale seeing Pinkie, and it was revealed that it was the CMC trying for a new mark? Video game reenactment with Luna, perhaps? The coffee amplified their destructive impulses, and that's what landed them in this anonymous group?

If you're doing the "Other AA members are working towards this shipping," then it might be good to include a few non-related ones to distract the reader, like Flim-Flam brothers with a money obsession, or a Twilight with punctuality issues (who comes in late?).

319523 It's okay, because I laughed very hard when I saw that. XD

319514 You should decide why Pinkie is in charge too. Does she have an addiction and what is it? Parties, singing, sugar, cupcakes and smiles come to mind. Might be best to start the meeting with something like "I'm Pinkie Pie and I threw this meeting just for you. I have been without sugar for 3 minutes now. Time for a reward!" (whips out a pack of sugar and eats it)

319563
Genius!

I was thinking of adding some pretty random addictions. Like, I was going to add a character that every time some one cries, he goes to them and starts patting them on the back and goes all like: "It's cool, man, it's cool. Let it out, man. We're here for you, man." and turns out he has an addiction to patting ponies on their backs.

Also, just as an inside joke, I was going to add my ponysona there as a addicted to:
A - Editing videos
B - Coffee
C - Writing

A fits the bill perfectly. I fucking LOVE editing videos on After Effects. It gives me a rush. And every time I get an idea for a video I bite my index finger to prevent shouting and dancing, which has caused my finger to nearly bleed at many a time. I even dream of the software. No joke. Those sexy, sexy timelines and grey panels drive me up the wall
I'm also addicted to coffee (been drinking it since I was 7) and writing (duh), but my friends think option A would be funnier

319575 ...and you go to Pinkie for advice on this? I imagine that you leave every meeting more addicted than when you get there.

I was thinking. What if Twilight led the meeting and Pinkie is there because she thinks it's fun?

319899 That sounds like Pinkie. Twilight is absolutely one to organize a meeting too. After she triple checks her checklists, and makes sure that holding the meeting is being done by the book, or according to her research, I'm sure that she might be able to share her nerosis with everypony who attends. You know, if she has any...

Sweet mother of mercy... I finally get some time to come look at this and... So. Many. Comments.

As a minor aside, my actual internet time's going to start getting very limited. I'm now back home; in the land where only one PC is connected to the internet. I can still get on, but only really in the evenings.

In other words, you won't be seeing much of me, but when you do I'll be as active as hell/trying to explain to my family that My Little Pony fanfiction is very much a manly activity for manly men to enjoy.

And now on to writing a super-long comment. First off, responses to the tattered remains of my story, my attempt to deconstruct Nagagon's and then a similiar attempt with Fred's (because I probably won't be here when that starts )

First:

318263>>318270>>318309

To start off with, I think Naragon pretty much hit the nail on the head: at the moment, this is a plot that would only work for a longer story than I'd be able to write in time for SALT. I've got an idea of how to get round this and also answer the two things I'm cheery-picking from Fred and Fire: making it scarier and why Celestia has to be ressurected/is she evil?

To start off with, I'd remove a fair number of the characters and cut the scenes down to the most important ones. In most cases, the scene would start with the character in the middle of doing something, and as the story went on it would gradually become apparant that the character has no recollection of events before the scene starts.

And that takes me onto the second part: perspective. I'd go for second person here, mainly because it allows me to skip on describing the character in anything less than small details which would lead to greater impact at the reveal. Also, because I'd no longer need to explain why the main character's a pony.

As for the Celestia part, the switch to second person removes the need to explain why she's viewed as a great evil. They're Changelings: she's hardly going to be their person of the year. As for whether or not she's actually evil, I think it would be a beautiful irony if they managed to succeed in summoning her and she was utterly horrified by what they'd done.

As for how Celestia died in the first place, remember kids: immortal Celestia is not canon. (Wait, did anyone actually mention that? Damn this sea of comments...)

Hell, death itself hasn't become canon yet. Ain't that right Big Mac?

And then why is she being ressurected? Hells if I know: some group hoping for power/a repressed pony populace uprising. THAT is something that would need to be addressed.

Okay, that wraps up that. And...

Second:

Thoughts? Loved it: nice, interesting and short idea. As I think someone up there mentioned (there's too many comments and not enough time!), the major problem with it is the ending/the plot. Having Twin Tales just snap out of it at the last minute does feel... contrived. Scanning through the comments, it looks like you're sorta developing a romance sub-plot, in which case I'd try and tie that into the ending somehow. Don't ask me how: that somehow protects me from making definite statements!

Also, milk the fact that he looks like Pinkie for all you're worth. Shakespeare loved using twins for a reason: people confusing one person for another in romantic-comedies works.

Okay, and onto the other part of what I saw blazing in the comments section (I won't touch on the philosophy sub-part): suggestions. God, there's so many suggestions it'd be possible to make. You've sure got one hell of a fertile idea here. One thing you could do with the Celestia being addicted to pairing ponies together (Molestia reference?) is to have everyone assume she's talking about 'shipping' as making actual model ships. Or you could run it the other way, and have her actually addicted to making ships which everyone assumes means actual shipping.

For the cutie-mark crusaders, I'd make them addicted to crusading after they've got their cutie-marks. Something like the Applebllom infection in... some sorta episode last season would work: particuarly if they're doing it during the meetings. They just have to keep on trying new things.

As for this 319575, if you're going for making a ponysona addicted to making videos, I'd have him constantly demanding that people get into better shots or complaining about the lighting. Just a few little touches that make it clear that he's finding it difficult to tell the difference between reality and his videos.

Okay, part the third. Wow, this comment is going to be HUGE!

Third:

Okay 318132.

First off (because I am an evil person) HOLY CRAP, you made yours up?! I got mine after a squad of armed police officers delieverd a manuscirpt written by the pope himself. I can't believe one of us actually had the audacity to sit down and think of his own ideas. What is this group coming to? (I'm guessing that you meant you came up with it by writing, but it was far funnier to pretend the other )

Okay, silly hat off and serious hat on

First off (really this time), I'd go with an adventure tag if you're planning on having Chrysalis explore Equestria. I think that covers it well enough, unless you're planning on adding any other elements into it.

Second thing that comes to mind is why exactly do the changelings become the mane six? Is it something to do with the elements of harmony? If so, what? At the moment - if I'm being as blunt as a slegehammer - it kinda feels like the forced transformation part is used to set up the Chrysalis exploring part. Dropping her exploration (eiher completely or into a second story) would certainly make the first part more... robust? Is that the right word? I dunno. Anyway, I'd concentrate on that part first of all; it's the one that needs the most work done to it.

Third (and final) things is this: we have the same problem, my friend. This feels like the plot for a much larger and longer fic that a normal SALT entry. There are methods you could use to cut it down (in particular, intelligent use of that villian 'tell' is an excellent way to compress a story), but it'll always feel a little bit hollow. I can't help but feel that we've allowed both of our imaginations to run away with us whilst writing this.

And that is that. Long comment is done. I can go back to... something. Maybe I'll hang around a while; see what's what.

(Also, the machine I'm on has no spell-checker installed, so apologies in advance for any red-line seas you may be experiencing.)

That was 1210 words, gentlemen. Or in other words: If that comment was a story submitted to fimfiction, it'd get past the word-count margin.

Clearly I need another hobby.

My eyes hurt, but not from reading the comment. Too much Battlefield 1942. My head feels like it's splitting

So, should we consider the day of thrashing my story done and move on the next practice dummy?

318132 you're up!