Please introduce yourself, please show your art.

What is your name?

How long have you been an artist?

Hi, my name is Artist, I'm an artist but I can't draw ponies but I'll try

7536035
I'm ARandomLonelyDude and I like making drawings. It's mostly cityscapes or other stuff that needs geometry. I have never drawn any living thing except trees because I'm bad at that.

7563180

Welcome to the group!

7536035
I am someone who the internet who goes by "ramdom_player201" or just "ram."
I am learning how to art, I feel like I am making good progress.
I sometimes accept art requests or art prompts (to have something to practice), but I cannot guarantee quality or completetion. (I struggle to finish things)
I do art to different levels of quality.
I don't know how long I have been an artist; I'll just go into my camera and look up the date on one of my first digital pieces.
Result: {my first piece in my camera roll was saved 18th Dec 2018, but I don't think it's my earliest. But I just rediscovered that I used to do my early art in flipaclip}
I might make a thread soon to display art, but first I need to review the instructions for that. Is there a dedicated thread or do I just post a new thread?
etc.

7934677
You just post a new thread.

7536035

I'm Bad.

My history:
When I got into this fandom in August 2013, I had ideas roaming in my mind. It was like my brain was infected with MLP. I couldn't go a day without seeing something pony-related.

I found out, that putting down my ideas calmed my inner pony chaos and gave me a fix of daily MLP. Posting my first story made me feel like I was a part of something greater. I wasn't just an observer; I was immersed.

One year later, things haven't subsided yet. I'm still drawn here. My ideas are still procreating in my mind.

I have a problem, though. I'm not the best of writers out there. I make mistakes. Many mistakes of all types and I can't even see them. For some reason, I'm blind to them until they are shown to me.

Feedback helps me tremendously toward improving, but it is scarce. Getting more views also increases the feedback that I get. In a sense, I want to get famous in order to get more views, in order to get more feedback, in order to learn how to write properly, in order to be able to increase my quantity of writing by lowering the time invested in editing, in order to purge my infected brain.

There is another reason why I write. One that I haven't noticed at the beginning. My writing acts as a mirror. I can see inside myself. I can see things that I never even imagined. I want to learn more about this subspace of mine, but it can only be observed in my writings. I need to write more, to understand myself more.

I've already ventured too deep into the craft. At this point, I would write even if nobody saw my stories. It’s like there is no escape from it. I don’t even want to escape it. I want to stay here. It’s so blissful here...

I'm afraid of missing out, that's why I try to stick my nose everywhere. I'm not sure if that's healthy, but then again, missing out feels terrible, so... yeah.

I was hooked on MLP completely off guard. I used to be a gamer and I watched lots of movies. The moment I got introduced to MLP my life habits just stopped. I haven't seriously played any game for over a year, and I’ve only watched a handful of movies since then.

I found out that I really enjoy writing. The story just flows through my keyboard when I sit down. The problem is, that everything I write is illegible as English isn't even my primary language. 95% of my writing process is editing and I don't enjoy that part of it as it lacks creativity.

I really hate making mistakes. Every time I publish a story, I'm sorry afterward because I learn that there was a glaring typo that I should have seen but didn’t. I've reread all my stories 50 to 100 times and I still know that there are mistakes in them. I just need to find them, somehow...

I used to write a bit when I was still in school (more than 15 years ago). I then sent my story to a more serious magazine and got back a review of my story. Looking at it now, it was a bad story, so obviously the review wasn't positive. Back then it killed my drive. I concluded that I’m just bad at writing, and I never wrote again until I found MLP.

Saying that I was out of practice would be an understatement. Looking back at the MLP story that I first wrote, I would say that it sucked. I'm amazed that I didn't get loads of downvotes. It was very fortunate. That was my only 'objective' measurement of my ability to write. It was the positive encouragement from the comments that forced me to stay on this site. That and my rediscovered love of writing.

I want to read as well, but I kind of made a pact with myself. I will first write my ideas into stories and only then allocate my time to reading. The problem with that is, that the more I write, the more ideas I have to write about. Despite that, I managed to squeeze in the reading of the most talked about fanfictions on this site:
Fallout: Equestria
My Little Dashie
Past Sins
The End Of Ponies
120 Days of Blueblood
Rainbow Factory
Cupcakes
I know there are a lot of other good stories out there, but I just hate leaving my 200+ ideas unattended. There's so much stuff that I should do and want to do, but there just isn't much time with my full-time job and other RL stuff.

It’s not about leaving a mark and becoming horse-famous in the eyes of other people. I don’t care about that. What I like about my stories is what they mean to me personally. I would probably write even if nopony would read my stories (I wouldn't edit them so much, though).

I always try to use logic. In fact, I’ve 'cut out' my mental processes that I couldn't trace from decision-making processes. My default reaction to everything is a non-response. Only traceable mental streams in my mind may produce reactions. I believe that only through logic can one see the truth of the world.

I also always try to do the objectively right thing. Whenever a decision needs to be made, I go for the correct one, regardless of how I feel about it.

There are reactions that are objectively good or bad in a given situation. When someone asks me what I want, my teeth clench together. I hate that word—want.

When choosing what to eat, you could go for a fatty, carbon-hydrated full meal. It will hurt your body, but you’ll feel awesome when eating it. That mechanism that rewards you for bad things… I hate it. It needs to be destroyed.

I’ve found a way to counter it. There’s another mechanism called ‘guilt’. It’s powerful, and it keeps the instinct-driven monkey at bay.

Something is missing, though. When I do bad, I feel bad. That’s good. But when I do good, I feel—nothing. I feel—empty. Just being is a chore and deviations are punished even more severely.

I try to tell myself that happiness is irrelevant. It doesn’t make things easier.

I imagine a perfect me, being in my shoes. What would the perfect me do? Would a perfect me be shutting off his brain in front of a TV? Not likely because that’s not a perfect thing to do. Would he go do something productive? Yeah, that's more in line with his character.

I then imitate the perfect me and emotions don't even play a part in it. Not in decision-making and not in execution. I just do the ‘correct’ thing and ignore everything else.

Writing
The themes in my stories are mostly:
Control—shaken
Prospects—taken
Aspirations—broken.
Ability—lost
Potential—gone
Hope—annihilated

I use text-to-speech a lot. When I don’t, I tend to read the whole sentences at once, missing the mistakes. I can mostly hear the mistakes, though. Here’s an example of the app I use:
http://www.fromtexttospeech.com/

I have a rule. If I can listen to my whole story without anything irking me, then I may start thinking about publishing it. It would pain me to have 1000 people read my story, only to discover a mistake after they've already read it. By not reading my story one more time, I've multiplied the dreadness of that mistake by 1000 times. 1000 people got hurt by it, just because I didn't take 15 minutes more of my time.

I'm going to be here for a while, I'd rather have my presence be rooted in solid foundations of my stories that don't have glaring mistakes. I have more motivation to re-read my stories before I publish them than after. It would feel tragic to me to attempt to fix a story after I've already hurt hundreds of people with its mistakes.

Still, no matter how I try, I still have many mistakes in my stories at the time of their publishing. My first comment on this site was:

spelling mistakes... a lot of them

I'm lacking in a lot of areas and I don't want to be lacking. Trying extra hard makes up for it a little and hopefully causes me to lack less in the long run.

The ratings on my stories do suggest, that my efforts didn’t go to waste. It’s part of the motivation to write more. And I do have many more stories to tell, so I plan to stay here for some time. I kind of don’t see myself doing anything else with my free time. Though, I feel that I have more renown than I deserve already, in time that may increase even more. Yet, on the other claw, there’s a lot of competition. 100 stories are published each day and with my writing speed, I can be glad to publish one chapter or one shot per month, at most.

My pet theory is, that I need so much time with my stories because I'm not good enough yet. Perhaps, in the future, I will know how to write and will be able to create stories with far fewer mistakes to begin with. Maybe.

I also want to leave a piece of me in the world. I wasn't doing that in all of my years of watching TV and playing video games. Looking back at it, it seems like a lost decade of my life. I don't have anything to show for it. It's as if I didn't even exist back then.

I could try to dull my piercing thoughts with movies and games. Yet the silent voice in the back of my head would grow louder. It will tell me of my end days when I’ll have nothing to show for myself. It will display problems that are accumulating because I’m not addressing them. After a while, hitting that ‘play’ button feels like a sin. Just sitting in a dark corner feels less dreadful at times.

I’m not sure if writing is my passion, addiction or a chore. Then again, those things may all be one and the same. I'm simply doing it because I don't see myself doing anything else.

I'm a one-thing kind of person. That's part of the reason why I don't have any other hobbies. I want to 'complete' this Fimfiction thing and only then will I start thinking about my next step. If I do multiple things, it feels to me like I'm not doing anything at all, since the progress on each one of those things would be slow.

Getting myself to write is easy. I just have to forbid myself from doing anything else. I get bored, not doing anything, so I start doing the only thing that I’m allowed to do.

I set priorities for myself that I never break:
1. Check for new responses to threads
2. Check for new messages
3. Get some food to avoid starvation
4. Get some sleep to avoid delusions that arise from sleep deprivation
5. Write stories

I feel somewhat stuck in this world, and writing liberates me a little. It's like a doorway to new worlds for me to explore. It also acts as a mirror and a storage for my thoughts.

If in a world, covered with shit, you managed to clean up one stone, that stone would be beautiful and meaningful. That's how writing feels to me.

Everything I do in this life is prone to decay. But not writing. Writing stays. What I wrote years ago is still the same now. It feels like an anchor. Something that can stand up to the most ferocious storm. As everything fades, the meanings behind words will still shine.

I write because it’s the only thing that feels meaningful.

My avatar and username:
I'm analytical and doubtful in nature. I want to know things. Not just how they appear on the surface, but the truth behind them. I recognized myself in that piercing look that Spike is giving. It was an obvious choice for the avatar.

As for the name, it was prompted by people dissin' on defenseless Bad Dragon ads. I couldn't just stand by, and watch all that blunt display of intolerance. I felt obligated to intervene, so I drew a target on myself, implying, "Stop picking on something that can't fight back. Come at me, instead, bros!"

Before my current name, I was Dragor because Dragon was taken. I like dragons. They’re so majestic.

You like to build worlds. You like action. You like drama. You like complexity.

I'm different. I don't care about any of that. I only want to explore concepts. Hope - destroyed. Love - obliterated. Hate - embraced. Ultimate power - thrown away. Belief - crumbled.

I don't care about the characters and I don't care about the world. All I want to do is bake a pie with subjective-reality-shattering ingredients and shove it into the reader's face. I don't want to give the reader what she wants. I want to take everything the reader holds dear away from her and shatter it while she watches in tears. 

My prospects:

Some may perceive me as being spiritual, but I’m nothing of the sort. If I ever find any spirituality in me, I'll cut it out with extreme prejudice. Everything that stands between me and the truth must perish. The chillness that some perceive in me is more of giving up on the world. It's like when you wish to go to the Moon when you're young, but then you realize that it's just not practical to do that. Eventually, you give up on the Moon and live your life as if the Moon is no longer a part of your desires.

I think I'm still a blank flank. I haven't found my true spot under the sun yet. I'm not sure if I ever will. I've tried many things in life, but always ended up looking for a replacement, after a while. It's like I can't sathe my hunger. There’s a bottomless pit in me that I don’t know how to fill.

This aspect of me is getting worse with time. It’s like fun isn’t even allowed anymore. Trying to enjoy myself would be like trying to read a book while waiting for the dentist to make a root canal. You can't enjoy it, even if you try.

I feel like I'm missing something. I don't know what it is, but I know I won't find it if I dull my mind. I want to stay sharp. Be prepared.

It might be something inside me. That's part of the reason why I started writing. I was surprised when I read what I wrote. There seems to be some kind of darkness in me; spreading. Everything gets twisted and corrupted. There's a common theme to everything I write. It's like I'm incapable of writing anything nice. All my themes can be summed up in one phrase: death of all hope

I've tried the life of love in my past. I used to have a theory that I could make any girl happy. Indeed, I found one, but I couldn’t establish the harmony I dreamed of. Still, she daydreamed of marriage and having kids with me. Yet, those were her dreams, not my own. The extra pressure in the realm of chaos I was drenched in would be more than I could take. I had to put an end to it. There was no other way. I have a new theory now. No one can be made happy.

I will never be intimate with another person for the rest of my life. I know this and I'm okay with it. People get hurt around me. That hurts me in return. I’ve employed a simple solution to that problem. No people around me—no hurt. It's a foolproof plan, and I intend to stick to it until the day I die.

I can see my future. I will die alone. The stories I'm writing—they're actually for me. I'll sit in the corner of my room. Reading them.

My stories resonate with me. So too do the songs that touch on the same themes. That’s why you’ll see a list of relevant songs in the first comment of my every story

My views of the world:
I'm also not at peace with how things are in this world. I merely admit to myself that I don't have the power to change them. If I ever gained absolute power, nothing you take for granted would stay the same. I'd lift the whole species to the next evolutionary level. I'd optimize everything and everyone. My vision for the world would overwhelm the majority. You'd probably consider me the evilest person who ever lived.

The Universe I live in is waning away, and no one bats an eye. I see people in their bubbles, oblivious to the space around them. Life is the best thing this Universe has to show for itself. The rest are just basic matter and energy. We're trapping life on a rock for no reason... We should set it free while the distances between galaxies can still be breached. The clock is ticking away. The damage we're doing by stalling will increase exponentially through time. Every day wasted may be a planetary civilization wiped out of the potential future. Imagine Earth exploding into a million pieces at this very moment. It's horrible, isn't it? That's what we're doing. Every day.

My art:
Here are a few examples of my art:

7536035
Greetings!
My name is Spectra and I've been drawing for round 8 or 9 years. My main target to draw was mlp however since gen4 is finished I grasped some interest in furries, sonic characters, dragons, pokemons and other fandoms.

7938515
Hi and welcome to this group I hope that you enjoy your stay.