EThe Incredible Gravitational Pull of Canterlot Donut Shops

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Slice of Life

Two ponies meet, depart, and meet once more

• Soarin
• Sunburst

mushroompone · 8k words  ·  43  4 · 552 views

Everypony has their own beginnings and endings. It is ever so rare to find somepony whose life is parallel to yours, each phase beginning and ending in unison.

Rare, that is, but not impossible. Especially when you lend each other a helping hoof.

Opening remarks

The Incredible Gravitational Pull of Canterlot Donut Shops (Donuts) by mushroompone (mush) is a slice of life romance with the rather unique pairing of Soarin and Sunburst. I enjoy MxM romance and mush’s work, so I’m looking forward to seeing how this turns out.   

Technical

The writing style in this piece can best be described as playful. It’s all very light and airy with how it goes back and forth between Soarin and Sunburst. Everything seems to emulate the idea of a lazy afternoon through the descriptive work and character interaction. It really suits the easy-breezy tone of the story and is an excellent example of using style to amplify the events unfolding over the course of the fic.

One minor gripe is a noticeable paragraph structure pattern in the text. Many paragraphs tend to be of the same length or start with a character’s name. There is nothing inherently wrong with this, but adding some more variety to the paragraphs would help break up some of the blocks of short paragraphs and make for easier reading. 

Additionally, no technical issues were found over the course of reading.

9/10

Character

The two main characters of the story are Sunburst and Soarin. Both stand out in this fluffy romance as endearing fleshed out characters and compliment each other in wonderful ways.

Sunburst is characterizaed by his small mannerisms and speech patterns that show his nerdy personality without ever needing to spell it out explicitly in the text. Soarin is a goofball who goes up great against Sunburst’s doofiness over the course of the fic and is equally expanded on in his smaller actions and internal thought processes. 

Both fit together very well despite their shallow canon selves, which has been beautifully built on in this story. The poeticness of their relationship, the gorgeous imagery that surrounds their budding relationship, all of it is predicated on a solid foundation of a truly enjoyable rapport between these two stallions.

A shipping story should always prioritize the characters and this fic is a prime example of that. Never once did I disbelief that these two were infatuated each other, neither did I ever think they couldn’t work together.  

Fantastic characterization. Full marks. 

10/10

Concept

Alright, first off, this is certainly not an original concept. These same story beats have been played in any number of ways and a coffee shop romance is popular enough to warrant a sub genre, however, the execution more than makes up for a lack of originality in setting. 

There is a poetry to the writing that really brings to life Soarin and Sunburst’s budding relationship. A sunshine-esque quality that evokes the feeling of a lazy afternoon. It feels like a slow burn romance despite being a short story, an impressive feat to accomplish in 8 K.

Besides that, the opening invokes powerful imagery that draws the reader into this small corner of the universe and the description is perfectly enticing without giving away all the juicy details. 

Though not the most original concept, the execution more than makes it worth the read.  

9/10

Vibe

Right off the bat the chemistry between Sunburst and Soarin is amazing and believable. The writing really sells the reader on their relationship showing why they are infatuated with each other and really pushing the idea of this pairing working out. The banter is top notch (the conversation about the usual still makes me laugh every time I read it) and solidifies their stellar back and forth. 

The flow and pacing are just right. Every transition from scene to scene feels natural and never jarring. The fic is further book ended by an opening and closing line about their reciprocated crushes that really hammers in the emotional core of the story. It ties the whole narrative up into a tight bow that is a joy to unravel through reading. 

Every word does a wonderful job of fleshing out the personalities of these characters and advocating for the ensuing romance. Its a slice of life romance that checks all the necessary boxes and does so in the way to push this to the top of the fluffy vista.

Its a heartfelt, feel good story with major good vibes. Full marks. 

10/10

Closing Thoughts

Donuts by mush is a stellar slice of life romance that is well worth time to read. It sells the reader on a rare pair romance that unfolds in the most comfortable way possible like a warm summer afternoon. I give this the full otter recommendation to read. 

9.5/10

Personal Score

Loved this. It was gay, it was well written, and I like well written gay. Despite being two very loosely characterized ponies from the show, Mush established a solid foundation for these two to thrive on. This story is well worth the read and I give it my full otter recommendation.  

10/10