Summary: A day at the relaxing beach with the main six and Thorax. Princess Twilight Sparkle invited Thorax to the beach and a private hill picnic.
Analysis Data: This is a story of a ship Twirax where Princess Twilight Sparkle and Thorax talk to each other on the other side of a hill. Also Princess Twilight brought her friends. I guess it’s for a vacation.
Things to be questioned: Bringing her friends and then having a private date with Thorax. The flow of this fiction is pretty awkward, the idea is alright, however the grammar needs some work.
I believe that this is an interesting fiction it is true and I like to give it at least an 8/10
If you are the judge and jury and if you like ship fictions you may say at least an 8/10 however, if you're not a shipping fiction with canon characters then the score would be lower to at least a 5/10.
Now the flow is very weird so I grade it to at least a 7/10 due because this is an alternate universe so basically there is no canon. Which it could possibly happen sometimes where you're with friends and go on a private date in the other room or hill.
The dialog is alright but, it could do a little bit more. I give dialog at least a 7/10
The Grammar there is a lot that needs fixing. I give grammar at least a 5/10.. In my perspective, you need help more on punctuations.
The final score is which I'm using the alternate universe version. (which is not the 5/10)
[Unpublished stories cannot be embedded]
Review: Twirax Summer Special
Tags: [Romance] 100%, [Sci Fi] 50%, [Alternate Universe]
Summary: A day at the relaxing beach with the main six and Thorax. Princess Twilight Sparkle invited Thorax to the beach and a private hill picnic.
Analysis Data: This is a story of a ship Twirax where Princess Twilight Sparkle and Thorax talk to each other on the other side of a hill. Also Princess Twilight brought her friends. I guess it’s for a vacation.
Things to be questioned: Bringing her friends and then having a private date with Thorax. The flow of this fiction is pretty awkward, the idea is alright, however the grammar needs some work.
I believe that this is an interesting fiction it is true and I like to give it at least an 8/10
If you are the judge and jury and if you like ship fictions you may say at least an 8/10 however, if you're not a shipping fiction with canon characters then the score would be lower to at least a 5/10.
Now the flow is very weird so I grade it to at least a 7/10 due because this is an alternate universe so basically there is no canon. Which it could possibly happen sometimes where you're with friends and go on a private date in the other room or hill.
The dialog is alright but, it could do a little bit more. I give dialog at least a 7/10
The Grammar there is a lot that needs fixing. I give grammar at least a 5/10.. In my perspective, you need help more on punctuations.
The final score is which I'm using the alternate universe version. (which is not the 5/10)
35/50
6.5/10
7471190
it sure is.