Title: Memorial Of a Lost One
Author: Princess Amore Dudette
Amount Read: All
Verdict: 6/10 Reject

I love the conflict and the idea. It’s sad, it’s got that tragic element and it’s not too bulky for what it is. The prose was good and grammar was ace! Technicals were by all means high quality for the type of fic that you were producing.

Although, what lost it its marks was the style. It didn’t really fit the letter you were righting. It felt… rigid, formal, proper. It sounded like correspondence, less so than an emotional final letter to a loved one. It didn’t really tug at my heartstrings or get me to think too deeply about the discourse in this fic. It just felt kind of hollow. Even when she was talking about the mountain, it felt kind of insincere. I felt it needed to have more of a casual tone, or a desperate tone, there wasn’t much character coming through. I feel like you had an interesting character there, this nurse who has a terminal illness, but all of the events that went on seemed empty, whether that was over the fact that it was a letter or the way it was written it didn’t connect. Not to say that this isn’t an easy fix solution. It was an interesting fic and at points, it did have me questioning mortality. It just needed that little bit more emotion, and a little bit more impact (but without making it crazy long because you had a very well justified word count).