Oh boy, I’m so nervous to actually post this because I can’t predict how it’ll go even if speaking to other autistic people. I’ll get to that part soon, I’ll focus on the safer stuff for now. People, especially online, all act like experts. I’m quite guilty of this myself, but I want to be aware of me doing it so that I can improve from it. Unlike physical conditions where you can see someone in a wheelchair, you can’t directly see mental conditions. People heavily struggle with thinking outside of their own experiences. So, it’s very easy for people to claim that autism is fake and made up to be an excuse to do whatever. Now I’m not saying that there isn’t people who do in fact lie about having conditions to mislead people. But it’s really frustrating when you actually do have conditions like this and they get dismissed as not being real.

My own experiences with this come from unhinged people. Like when I was in terrible group with toxic friends back in the days, there was this one person who would specifically target me because she hated my opinions on things. At one point, she said my behavior isn’t due to autism, but me being an a-hole. This the kind of person that’s supposed to be very “progressive.”

And now here is where I get into dangerous grounds. I hate a Discord moderator deny that I was autistic. There’s negative stereotypes about Discord and Reddit moderators for reasons. So, the full context is that I was on this Lego Games modding server, of which I haven’t posted on at all till the day I was banned. An @everyone announcement was made about one of their team members leaving due to transphobia. I added my two cents about how I’m also trans and it was awful what happened to her. My mistake was posting at all. I don’t exactly remember how it went, but the discussion came to a point where I was mentioning that women might be shocked to see a pre-op transwoman’s genitals in the locker rooms. Cue how awful of a person I am and transphobic and all of that. There were very few people who understood where I was coming from and that what I said wasn’t in malice. I was legit confused as to why some of them acted like I said something so awful, even bringing up being autistic as for why I didn’t understand them. They brought up how that isn’t an excuse. At that point, honestly, I really don’t know. Just because someone says something is bigoted doesn’t mean it actually is. Like seriously, what even the hell was the problem? Women are not used to seeing male genitals in their locker rooms. I didn’t say anything demeaning about transwomen. I even said pre-op which is before bottom surgery, so not me saying all transwomen. I said nothing about these transwomen being in the wrong.

At one point, the moderator who likely banned me typed in “autistic” in quotes like that, as if I was just making it up. I saw a member take issue with that, but I didn’t see how it played out before I was banned. I wonder what the fallout of that was. Likely just a power hungry moderator having a power rush. I should note that these “progressive” people have no tolerance for anything that violates their many, many rules, often unwritten rules. If you don’t instantly understand whatever they consider offensive that day, there is never ever a legit or valid excuse. It’s always that you’re intentionally being bad and denying it is just admitting you’re guilty. I absolutely cannot deal with these people because I’ll always fall short of something. They’ll even act like I’m not autistic or that I should just magically know whatever it is that they believe. No you can’t just simply ask questions, that’s a violation in itself. They’ll tell you to educate yourself, well, good luck finding the “right” sources.

Just yet another hardship of being autistic. People won’t accept you are autistic and that it in fact, comes with social misunderstandings. Maybe I truly did say something wrong there, but I won’t know for sure because no one would properly explain it, just whip out the torches and pitchforks. Welcome to the impossible difficulty. I’m so glad I was not actually using the services (the mods) of that server. But this thing could happen on the vast majority of Discord servers, so it seems like my only survival tactic is to say nothing at all.

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I’ve never had someone deny that I’m autistic but I have set people off before so I know what that’s like.

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https://discord.gg/53VpFzFHDb

Reminds me of this !

oh and this one as well !

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People are stupid.