Okay, I really hope this one isn't against the rules, but here I go.

I'm scared. Very very scared, nervous, anxious and terrified over something I want and feel I should do. I'm trying to make writing/preforming stories on youtube successful. I've been writing all my life, and people have told me I have a natural talent to act, so I'm putting two and two together in a place where creativity is "supposedly" encouraged.

Why am I scared? Looking back in my life, I've had some victories, but all those victories have been because of the massive amount of support and push I got from family and those around me. Those victories have been few, and somewhat far between. On my own, if left to my own devices, I feel like a failure that doesn't accomplish much. With this venture, I'm alone, and not even sure what I'm doing.

I have tried to reach out to others who have been successful at this, however I've received no replies, and I honestly don't think I will. The work to put into this is much more difficult than I thought it'd be, especially the voice acting part, but it's something I really want to do...but I have this annoying tendency to compare my stuff to what someone else has worked up to be, and say that my stuff is crap. I'm often too hard on myself, and hear the advice "Don't be so hard on yourself" or "Be patient", but no one says how.

How do you control your emotions, and silence the little voices in your head? How to you push yourself to work, and accomplish great things even if you don't want to? How do you look past your current abilities and focus on what you could become if you practice and keep up the effort? How do you out weigh fear by having the courage to just do it, even if you might end up failing? There's no real answer to those questions...And that just adds to my fears.

I have this dream...Actually, it's more like I feel this pull towards this idea, like it's something I'm suppose to do. Like this was what I'm meant to do, but I'm hitting road blocks all along the way. I mean, I figured out this is what I really wanted to do a month ago, and it took me three weeks to even begin to start writing and preforming. I'm sacrificing paid work hours to this, and I feel like for all my creativity and passion, I have no direction of how to accomplish or achieve that which I desire. I spend more time watching stupid videos with the excuse of "I couldn't think of anything" because I'm afraid that I'll put in hard work and have it be wasted because no one saw it, no one cared, or everyone hates it.

This is not to say I haven't tried. I have, and...well, the thing is I don't know how to jump start things. I have a few things that I've put a lot, and I mean a LOT, of time and effort into, but it falls into the lines of 'No one cares'.

I'm not giving up, if that's the impression I gave off, but I'm scared to try. I guess I'm the most terrified that I don't have the answers I want to have, because no one does have the answers. It's like, asking "will this work?" and getting the reply, "maybe." How does that answer the question? I'm just feeling like I'm floundering, hoping that I'll figure out how to swim.

So yeah. I could ramble on, but you get the gist. I'm scared to try, want to try, and have a fear of failing and proving that I can't accomplish my dreams because I don't know what I'm doing and don't have the answers to questions that have no answers.

5203828 It can be pretty scary to post to YouTube, as there's always a chance that millions of people are going to see it, and it can be intimidating to compete for views with big name youtubers. I've been on YouTube for a little over two years, and I've learned a few things.

First off, when someone starts YouTube, unless they're already a celebrity, or just get really lucky, they're not going to blow up fast. They way YouTube works is that they promote videos that are getting a constant view stream reaching into high numbers. And when you start out with no following, it is easy to get lost in the crowd. But you can't let it get to you. You have to understand if your view count is low, it's not because your content is bad, it's most likely because people haven't heard of you. But eventually, you'll get into a comfortable rhythm, videos will show up in peoples recommended feed, they'll be sharing it on social media, texting links to their friends, everything snowballing bigger and bigger, and next thing you know, you'll be planning a meet and greet with your fans.

As for not knowing what you're doing, well, if I'm honest, no one does. There are people who have "made it" on YouTube who have openly admitted that they have no idea how it happened or why people are watching. The best thing you can do is take time to build your style. Are yourself in videos, like danisnotonfire, or do you play a character instead of using your real name, like stampylongnose?

You said you wanted to do dramatic readings? I've picked up a few things on voice acting. Try to minimize background noise. Most recording programs can remove some noise, but if it's really loud, your voice is going to have a robotic effect. Best thing to do is sit in a closet. The clothes muffle the sound. Homemade recording studio. When you start recording, wait a few second before talking. That way, you have a clear sample of background noise so the program can remove it. As for voices, record yourself speaking in a voice and listen back to it. Our voices sound different to is than it does to other people. While a voice may sound spot in to you, you might sound close but not quite there to someone listening. Microphones aren't an exact representation of that, but it can simulate it. Listen back at the voice and fix it where it's needed. If you just can't get that one voice right, there are plenty of voice actors who wouldn't mind helping out for free here on fimfiction, and countless other sites, plus, colaborating is a great way to get subscribers.

That's all I can think of now. I hope this helps.

I am going to concentrate on the 'how do I get rid of that anooying voice jn my head' part.
That little voice is wjat I call my concious, because I really don't have much of one.
But anyways, You really don't. You can push it out if you get lost in your work, if you drown it out, whatever. But in the end, it will come back. I slipped into experimenting with everything from painkilller highs to alcohol to deafening myself to hurting myself to get the voice to go away. All you cam hope for is a few minutes at a time, I guess. (For me at least)

Confidence is not the ability to do shit deapite what others say. Confidence is the ability to do shit despite what that voice says.
I know this is a hard one, but really ya havw to just ignore it or work in spite of it.
Also. Practice. Practice. Practice.
As a guitarist, I know how the whole 'I will never be that good' gig feels. Mt advice - practice anyways, and the techniques and stuff that seem complex to a newbie lile you will be easier and easier to understand as you work on the basics and then the fine details you cam understand after the basics.
Think of it as an upgrade tree. Just softer, and a lot more interconnected.

There is a YouTube video or thirty explaining how to do everything. If that fails, ehow. I dunno, ask.com
My advice, google it, google it until it makes more sense.
But ya gotta just put yourself out there, I would start by collaborating on as many things as you can to try and get the hang of it. And then just do whatever feels right.
What kind of VA, YouTubing? Like julian smith style jokes? Trailer interpretations? Movie analyses?
There is a lot more to youtubing than just youtubing.

5203828 Concerning your questions on confidence and the tiny voice in your head, all I can say is believe in yourself. Clichéd, I know, but think about it this way: how many people want to live the easy way, not giving a care, and how many people strive for better things? Now, which group are you in by wanting more for yourself?