Hi folks ChangelingLumin is back in action with another Badfic Review, I'd thought I'd change the formula up a bit so no more quotes unless necessary, and I'll try not to bash the author as much this time. Anyway lets review "My Date With A Strange Girl" by, TheMultiBrony21.

We start off with the protagonist Mal waiting for a blind date, during which he has a short one sentence monologue about how much he likes Derpy, when the actual date appears. It's at this point the protagonist notes how this person looks just like Derpy, except the eyes of course which were the same color yet somehow different. It's then we hit two of the story's biggest problems...

EVERYTHING GOES BY TOO FAST, AND THE "I's" ARE NOT CAPITALIZED!!!

Don't believe me, here is a small excerpt from the story itself.

"Hmm...where is this girl i'm supposed to meet?"
I had been waiting two minutes for this girl i was supposed to meet for a blind date, i really didn't want to go on the date because i thought that Derpy was the only real girl i loved....and i was right.
Within a few seconds my date finally show'd up, she had long blonde hair, and she was wearing a gray uniform and black sunglasses, from her feet to her head i counted every detail, she had black shoes, gray socks, her legs were long and slim, her hips were wide but not to wide, her shorts were perfectly fit to her figure, her waist was curvy, her shirt was short-sleeved, her breasts were perfectly round and big, her face was the most beautiful i'd ever seen, in fact, her eyes looked just like Derpy Hooves', except they were only the same color as Derpy's.
"Are you Mal?" She asked.

I didn't doctor this in any way, this is word for word what is written in the story. I have no idea who Mal is, and the pacing goes by so fast for my brain to process what's happening.

Anyway, the two exchange small talk, very small talk, very, very, very small talk. It is then that the female of the group is finally given a name, "Delilah", and the two carry on their awkward two sentence conversation. It is then we are given this little gem...

"Me neither, but I think we should talk about what we like about each other, for intense, your eyes are a very beautiful color, and you look so handsome." She said, all I could do was smile.
"Well i think you have a very beautiful bod-er face, your eye's are the color of my favorite ponies eyes." I Said.

I think you mean instance, not intense.

It's then we are magically teleported to a restaurant, and I'm not kidding, that's what it looks like. There is no indication of the two walking to the place with how fast the story is going, it's again really hard to follow along. The pacing needs more work, and I mean a lot of work.

Anyway, the waiter teleports in and asks how he could serve them, it's then Delilah asks for, "Cheesy Fries, Pancakes, and an ice-cream sundae." which indicates that this is the fanciest fast food joint I've read about. The two engage in more microscopic talk, and the scene abruptly ends.

The Waiter came back with our food. We ate and talked, and flirted with each other.

This is not how you do pacing folks!

The two go down to Delilah's house and the two engage in some foreplay, which I might add is the best thing about this fic. Delilah leaves and then comes back but...

"Hello Mal, I'm Derpy Hooves, I'm sorry i lied about being human and my name being Delilah, but I didn't think you'd belive me if i had said who I really was."

And it's believe, not belive.

With that twist out of the way, albeit it's a really bad one at that, we get into some really steamy sex.

And with that we end this fic, with Mal wanting to go to Equestria and a few lame puns.

This lid is for, really bad pacing bad dialog, bad character development, and confusing narrative. The author really needs to improve on this, I'm sure with time and effort he could fix this.

This lid is for, the spelling errors and the uncapitalized I's littered throughout the story.

This lid is self explanatory.

Author tends to delete and ignore any criticism. Just look at the comment section of the story to see what I mean.

All in all this story gets a 2 out of 10. This is ChangelingLumin signing off.