He was glad that Twilight had replied to his letter, and had cut their honeymoon a bit short to be a guest in the wedding, despite the fact they were honeymooning for two weeks now, apparently two weeks wasn’t enough.

Two weeks is never enough. Do you know how many times they could've ba- (jk)

He tried to look up to see his mane again, but was unable to do so. He groaned, picturing himself based off of his own memory. He didn’t necessarily hate his new body, but rather, found it too… cliché. And by that, it simply reminded him of every red and black OC in the internet.

Hey, at least you didn't become an Alicorn. We would've gotten into real deep sh*t then. Like, Gary Stu levels.

“Yep. I’m dyeing this shit.” Jorge thought aloud, looking back up to his mane. “...Maybe style it a bit too…”

Predicting style: F*ckboi
Predicting color(s): Renbows
Don't get your triggering in a twist.

“Twilight! Shadow!” He cheered. “Glad to see you two again! Your train was only like…” He looked at a nearby clock hanging on the wall, deadpanned at the time, then turned his head back at them. “...an hour late.”

“Yeah, well they dragged me away before I could finish my snowman.” complained Shadow, groaning.

DO YOU WANT TO BUILD A SNOWMAN (dont sue me)(also isnt it supposed to be snowpony)

“Jorgie!”

(it wasn't pinkie this time)

“Hell yeah, we did!” He grinned, bumping the other stallion’s hoof with his own. As their wives simply rolled their eyes.

Meanwhile, Jorge was completely left out of the situation. With a blink, he tried to speak.

“You know we let you win, right?” Cadance snickered.

“We didn’t wanna hurt your pride, after all…” Twilight added.

Jorge simply deadpanned as they continued to interrupt him.

First World Problems.

Jorge simply ignored the shouting coming his way, only for him to be caught in Twilight’s magical aura. He blinked as he paused his now futile movements, not even bothering to try and fight back.

Twilight pulled Jorge back to the group, then spoke once he was close enough. “We came through all this trouble to show up to your wedding, and this is how you treat us!?”

Jorge simply looked at Shadow with a knowing look, then back at Twilight. “This is your second month in your pregnancy, right?”

“Yeah…”

“Your hormones are already starting to act up.”

Absolutely no chill.

“Yeah?” She raised an eyebrow. “And your cuban-ness is showing.”

“Alright.” Twilight began walking off, with Cadance promptly following her. “Time to get everyone all dressed up for the big event!”

Since when did Twilight assume control of Jorge's big day?

Jorge reached a hoof out, doing his best/worst impression of a character from a fighting game, then, with near perfect timing, as Shadow was pulled towards him and the mares, Jorge pulled his hoof back, while shouting in a deep voice. “GET OVER HERE!”

Casual MK reference.

Shining blinked as the two fought to the death. “...I’m so glad I’m in my own bubble…”

Shining, no one asked for your opinion.

The other figurine, however, lacked a lot of details. While it was detailed enough as Dash’s in terms of having an actual face with it’s own, happy expression, as well as its head leaning against the other’s. But what was the most noticeable thing missing was the figurine’s mane, which was completely non-existent. And while the tail itself was there, it lacked color, leaving it just a pure white re-creation of his tail.

This is why mirrors were invented. (Although, it is slightly harder to use mirrors in a self-portrait since they invert images.)

“Remember that thing I went to go check…?”

She's pregnant. Moving on!

Cadance quickly lowered her muzzle over to his ear, and whispered.

“You’re welcomeeee~...”

MOVING ON

“Well, for starters… You broke him!”

“I did not!” Cadance retorted. “It was a collaborative effort!”

This goes on for a while.

Shadow walked up to her, doing the pony equivalent of a hug once more, resting his head on her neck. Cadance raised an eyebrow at the stallion’s actions. Only for Shadow to reach out a foreleg, and push her forelegs, causing her to fall forwards onto her face. While she was down, Shadow grabbed a doughnut he had… somewhere. And stuffed it onto her horn, leaving the doughnut completely on her head, with the horn going right through the hole.

Congratulations. You created a new species of Alicorn. Doughnutcorn.

Cadance looked up at the canadian, her eyes narrowed as she stared daggers at him.

Honestly, if Shadow didn’t know any better, he could easily assume she was trying to shoot lasers out of her eyes. Wait. She’s an alicorn… She probably could shoot lasers out of her eyes…

Okay, Laser Doughnutcorn.

“I can imagine…” Jorge shrugged, then quickly pulled his head back. “Though, one thing I don’t get… Your cycle wasn’t for another month, wasn’t it?”

Dash blinked. “Actually… now that you mention it…”

Suddenly, a wave of realization washed over Jorge. His eyes widening as he recalled a certain ‘gift’ he had received from Cadance.

Then, he narrowed his eyes, and looked back at the door where both Shadow and Cadance had fled the room.

“That b*tch.”

Wait what. Did. Did Cadance make. Wait what?
Oh f*ck it let's just make b*tch a new species of Alicorn as well.

Eventually, he found himself in front of the apartment building that holds Ish’s apartment.

I still don't know how Ish got an apartment.

“ISH!” He shouted. “YOU GOTTA HELP ME!”

Ish paused for a moment. “That depends. Am I getting paid?”

“THERE’S NO TIME FOR DEALS!”

Ish crossed his arms. “N*GGA. THERE’S ALWAYS TIME FOR A DEAL!”

Shadow looked back, his eyes widening to the size of basketballs as Cadance drew closer.

“FINE. GUESS WE’RE DOIN’ THIS THE HARD WAY!”

“Wait wha—” Before Ish could say anything else, Shadow had grabbed him, and did his best to practically chuck him right at Cadance.

“THE F*CKS YOUR PROBLEM!?”

Even more Ish abuse.

“SHADOOOOW!” Cadance shouted from many feet away, her voice still managing to reach far enough for Shadow to even hear her. “THERE YOU ARE YOU LITTLE SH*T!”

"MLP:FIM Behind The Scenes - PG 15"

He turned his head back, noticing a certain alicorn right behind him, steam flaring out of her nostrils. Shadow flinched slightly, cringing as he tried to step back, only to bump into the door, leaving him stuck between a rock and a painful place. “Oh… Hiya… Cadance…”

---

“Alright!” Shadow shouted off in the distance, limping as fast as he could through the door as he tried to make it to his friend’s side. “I’m here! Finally!”

We can safely assume that Shadow would've been paralyzed from the neck down if he didn't play such a huge(sortamaybeidk) role in the story.

Then again-

Wait, what's this? Another description of a wedding dress? And it's well done as well?

loljkpranked

Dash looked over to her fiancé, noticing a few changes about him. While his tail was still the same, all the red on it had been dyed a dark blue, while his mane had received a noticeable restyle. While he didn’t exactly hate the spikes his mane had, he still felt like he should change it up a bit. His mane was a bit more smoother, the top of his mane was left untouched, however, towards the back, it had been brushed to lay on the back of his neck, instead of going completely wild and making large spikes from the side of his neck. The way it was colored was altered as well, as it had received the same treatment as his tail; All of the red had been dyed the same shade of blue.

My color prediction was wrong, but was my style prediction wrong as well?

I think not.

“Mares, and Gentlecolts…” Celestia spoke, who was asked by both Dash and Jorge to be the one who would marry them, without any trolling. Reluctantly, she agreed not to troll them. “We are gathered here today…”

Shadow zoned out Celestia’s boring speech, disappointed that there would not be any trolling done by her.

But like, it's a serious event.

Dash nodded softly. “I do…”

Celestia nodded, then looked over to the groom. “And do you, Jorge, take this bana—” She blinked, looking over to a banana she had involuntarily levitated nearby, and deadpanned. She quickly chucked the banana off in the distance, then shook her head. “Nobody saw that…”

It's official. Bananas have taken over Celestia's life.

Jorge nodded. “I do.”

Celestia nodded once more. “Then… Unless anypony has any obje—” She paused, glancing at the door, simply waiting for a certain asian to burst through the door again.

Jorge and Dash both turned their heads, looking at the door as they, too, waited for Ish to burst through the doors.

Though, to their surprise, that didn’t happen. The three of them shrugged, then returned back to the ceremony.

“Unless anypony has any obectio—”

“I OBJECT!”

HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF

Pinkie took the signal, grabbed a device from her dress, and pushed the only button on it.

Ish had stood in front of the door, shirtless once again, this time, not even bringing the shirt he was gonna wear with him. “YOU B*STARDS GOTTA DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN! YOU ALWAYS PICK THE WORST TIMES TO HAVE YOUR GODDAMN WEDDINGS! IF IT WEREN’T FOR SHADOW CHUCKING ME LIKE A FOOTBALL, I MIGHT’VE BEEN ABLE TO MAKE IT ON TIME!”

“Wait for it…” Jorge extended a foreleg in front of Shadow, blocking him from going after him.

“SO LET’S GO B*TCHES! ROLL IT BA—”

*POP*

In an instant, a cannon cleverly hidden below Ish had gone off, strings of confetti flying all over him, while the actual blast itself had merely obliterated his pants, leaving him only in his underwear.

I lost my sh*t at this part.

“I got this.” Shadow started to say as he limped up the aisle.

“Ha!” Ish pointed at Shadow. “That’s what you get for throwing me at that pink horse!”

N*gga said what
im going to get hunted down for saying that arent i

Lyra immediately jumped from her seat, making a one-way trip for Ish, immediately tackling him down onto the floor, but just far enough for Shadow to close the door, and lock them out of the room.

“F*ck...” was all that could be heard before the doors locked on Ish and Lyra.

Justice is served.

Meanwhile, Shadow had limped over to the dessert table and grabbed another jelly doughnut. He hoofed it up to his mouth but stopped right before taking a bite when he noticed Cadance talking to Shining with her back facing him. Shadow slowly limped up behind her and flared his wings. Right when he was about to take flight and dunk the jelly doughnut on her horn, Shining looked past her with an eyebrow raised, causing Cadance to turn around, the flames of “sisterly love” reigniting in her eyes.

Damn, I was really looking forward to seeing a Laser Jelly Doughnutcorn.

Looking back to the table, he saw the piles of bananas that Celestia had brought to the wedding.

“Who to troll… who to troll…?” Shadow thought to himself as he began glancing around the reception. As he noticed Luna off in the distance, a sudden, yet fabulous, idea came to mind. And had immediately started sticking banana slices into the doughnut to make a crown.

Boi he bout to do it.

Jorge looked behind him, watching as Celestia and Luna watched as Twilight was on the dance floor, failing incredibly. He looked back at Shadow, and began doing his best/worst impression of George Lopez. “I GOT THIIIS.”

I ain't even mad.

“I was told to give this to you…” Luna explained, as a larger than normal banana slowly began floating from behind her. “...I’m not entirely sure why, but I didn’t see much of a problem doing so.”

Don't make me throw in my x3.

“What, am I suddenly tied to a leash that’s held by Dash all the time, now?” Jorge raised an eyebrow. “Can’t a stallion walk around his own reception party withou—” He glanced up, noticing the switch was already done and Shadow was nowhere to be found. “...Where’d Luna’s crown go?”

“What?” Luna and Celestia looked up to the aforementioned crown, in an instant, Celestia had immediately fallen on the floor, laughing at Luna’s new “crown”. While Luna herself was still confused over it entirely.

Well, we don't have a Laser Jelly Doughnutcorn yet--but we do have a Jelly Doughnutcorn.

“Well, then I think your tiara looks fabulous on my head.” Shadow retorted. “But I should be heading back to the reception now…” He salutes with a smile, backing out into the window, and falling out the building.

Before Shadow could do any damage to her tiara, Luna quickly caught it from his head with her magic, sighing softly as she began to calm down while it was still in her grasp.

But then, Shadow flew back up, and grabbed it. “Oops, forgot this…”

And then he fell again.

How to trigger a princess and possibly kill your chances of friendship with your waifu.

As he quickly tried to butt out of the conversation, in an attempt to get them to talk about something else that wasn’t him, he looked down at the table, noticing his spoon had begun to move around on its own.

“Huh…?” He reached over to the spoon, ready to poke it and see if it would continue to move.

”Though, I may not have taught Jorge everything he needed to know about flying. There was one stallion I taught everything I could...”

Right before Jorge’s hoof even came into contact with the spoon, it’s slow and steady movements turned into one quick jerk move, right off the table and right onto the floor below.

Sp00ky

With a shrug, Jorge drew his attention back to the spoon, getting off of his chair, and investigating it.

Only for him to get pulled under the table entirely, his mouth covered by what felt like a hoof, but there was no visible hoof in sight.

Alright, where the f*ck is the Holy Bible, cross and the priest that comes with it.

“What were you doing down there?” She asked. “I felt something brush my leg…”

That moment when you want to say that your temporarily invisible friend had done it but you realize you won't be able to explain why they were under the table in the first place without getting suspicious looks.

P.S: Jorge is a b*tch. Oh and for his birthday, send him a banana at least three times his size.”

Eh, I warned you.

TSC: 162
Sentence: More weddings, some Ish abuse, and several species of Doughnutcorn.