Yeah, I got time to do this. Be happy, Fundalo.

Humans are op

This title. 1

Trumpets blared as Ponies gathered around Canterlot castle for what was said to a be a "special announcement"

Those aren't emphasis marks. 2

"New coronation"

"Changeling invasion"

Again and again. 4
Changelings.. Special announcement... We know where this is going just by looking at quotation marks. 5

Celestia spoke first

Of course she f*cking spoke first, it's not like nobody would be talking before this entire meeting started. 6

war

DINGDINGDINGDINGDING 11

It is simple, the humans!

Actually, it's not. 12

"These abominations have destroyed their planet, killed each other for no reason other than greed, and have enslaved the wildlife of their world! Today we march and stop them!"

Starting with today, hippies do NOT exist! 13

Luna spoke next, "We shall free their planet from the grip of darkness and give them a brand new start as Ponies using a new serum we hath created! Please sign up for the Equestrian army at the nearest recruiting station today so thou can buck up Humanity as well!"

That's something I've never seen before.14

Celestia suddenly pushed Cadence out of the way, "Also I will be changing my name to Xenolestia."

Sigh and ding, DoC. Sigh and ding. 15

"Alright soldiers, your mission is simple: convert as many Humans into ponies as possible with these conversion bows."

In other words, shoot people. 16

The Equestrian forces quickly disembarked and started shooting wildly and Human civilians, many of which were turned into colorful horses.

This is really realistic if you tried to rip off of a lame shooter game on Roblox. 17

The commander quickly turned to his men, "Get ready to launch a counter offensive and f*ck s*it up."

Swearing commanders. 18
Isn't the s*it already f*cked up? 19

The soldiers quickly prepared for a battle against cuteness. Among them was Lieutenant Gary Stu, a famous man who drove a tank so well, he won five Nobel peace prizes. There is no reason to explain what he looks like so let 's just move on now.

No. 20
Wouldn't driving a tank give you the Nobel War Prize? 21

New York was in absolute chaos, Ponies were running rampant and turned thousands of Humans into adorable Ponies. The US army overlooked the sight with disgust. "Alright then, send in the Helis!" Shouted the General.

Think about the military bronies. 22

The soldiers quickly ran into the Metropolis and immediately pushed back against the Ponies. Gary Stu was the greatest of all, he dropped thousands of Ponies like flies as the Humans advanced on the enemy lines.

Gary Stu isn't Gary Stu if he's not the main character. 23

In fact, Gary Stu is about as awesome as Hammerman Toothpaste.

I'm kidding. That's wasn't in the story.

The arrow simply bounced off of Gary due to his awesomeness and he turned to face his assailant. "Sup b*tch?" He asked before quickly grabbing his gun and shooting Shiny. A voice in the air shouted "HEAD SHOT!" As he fell to the ground. All of the remaining Ponies started fleeing back to their boat, but they were all slaughtered by Gary's bada*ssery.

Oh my god.. Gary Stu is Kyle Blackthorne!! (Only people that have read my other reading sins understand..) 24

Cadence gave her a blank stare, "I didn't really like him anyway." Twilight was enraged by this and punched her sister in the face, because that's fine in Equestria.

Girl to girl action. Shut up, perverts. 25

"Calm down now. You six must use the Elements of Harmony against the Humans if they reach Canterlot, that should stop them from taken over and destroying Ponykind. If you say otherwise you will be executed." Xenolestia ordered.

I would rant about what the EoH really do right here, but my iPad is on low battery. 26

The following scene holds lots of extremely fast pacing. There are also many sins, so much that I have to multiply the counter. 52

Author's note:

I just... I don't even... What? What? I don't even know what I just wrote... What? Why? I mean seriously, what? Why did I write this?

Replace the write with read and wrote with read. That is my reaction. 53

Yes.