Status: being read-- Location: Chapter 3
Current Grade: 70

This will be the thread for the current Status of My Mortal Big Brother and, eventually, the thread of its final destination.

So far, it has received an 80 for the following reasons:
Some grammatical errors although very few and far between
Very well written and great time keeping
Mild dialogue issues at times.
Mild flow issues (sometimes due to dialogue) at times
Great idea- absolutely stellar idea for a story
Formation of a premise -- lets see if it's held out to the end
Quite Enjoyable- loving it so far

^^ short summarry of story after reading chapter 1

It's reason for currently having a 70 after reading chapter 2:
Grammatical errors. - Unfortunately there were enough of these to be noticeable
Flow problems - This was greatly caused by grammatical errors. There were many instances of words that were incorrect or constructed incorrectly
Better Dialogue- Didn't notice any more issues with dialogue. Very clean and concise. Much improvement over the last chapter
Plot and Timekeeping- the plot keeps a regular and rhythmic time. Also, it doesn't leave skeptics. It tries and succeeds at playing out realistic situations that make sense
Great Idea- Idea is still held firm to.
Premise development- the premise was developed somewhat throughout the chapter, showing how Shining would go to great lengths for family and love. Although rather generic, I expect it to develop further into a well formed idea
Very enjoyable- It would seem the action has just begun and the chapter was extremely enjoyable. Slight improvement over the last chapter on this part.

^^summary of score after reading chapter 2

I won't write a full review until it's finished, but at the present moment the biggest factor that has hurt it is dialogue issues. Flow is contributing negatively to an extent, but not as much.

This is well on its way to being accepted. Great Job so far!

Feel free to leave questions and concerns.