Set after "Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks." Sunset Shimmer and Fluttershy, in her quest for Credit Points, stumble upon a very peculiar plot.

What... What did I just read? Eh, I suppose that serves me right for not reading the long description before I claimed it and started to read. I knew I'd forgotten to do something.

Summary

Okay, the short summary needs work. It really needs work. As was obvious from my complete and utter shock at the plot, it is quite misleading. But, for those of us who remember like normal people to read the long description, that issue is easily resolved. And, to be fair, the long description wasn't half bad—except for the last few sentences, where the author's (presumed) first language makes itself known.

Plot

Wow. Not what I was expecting, but that's life, huh?

Anyway, the fic opens with our girls chatting about the scores they got on their old Mongolian tests. Now, maybe I'm just being a blonde British woman, but I've never heard of Mongolian being part of the standard American curriculum. Anyone care to enlighten me? It was mentioned that Canterlot, in this universe, is a classical languages high school... but nevertheless, it's not exactly a standard option.

So, onto the "daycare", as it is known. The reveal, at least for a reader who had no idea where this was going, was a very shocking reveal, truth be told. Almost immediately questions are raised, though; why would Luna even consider doing the course? It was completely against everyone's will and, despite Luna's blackmail of recieving punishment, it is more than likely that someone could have complained and gotten the course finished.

Now, the activities that Luna has the "adult teen babies" do seem a little odd, too. As a young woman, if I was forced into doing anything like that, not only would I be unwilling but I would not be having all that much fun. Not as much fun as the daycare participants seemed to be having, anyway.

Other than that, though, I can't really fault the plot other than the fact that so much of the story is not in English. I mean, there's an entire section where a song is sung completely in another language. Few high school / college students can speak a language that fluently!

Also, women who are not mothers do not produce milk. So the somewhat unnerving scene in which Luna breast-fed Flameboy really should not have existed.

Characters

So, the main characters in this fic are established almost from the get go. Bacon-hair, Flutters, Woona and... Flameboy Shy. Yes, I wrote that right, and no, your eyes are not playing tricks on you. Flameboy Shy. I'm sorry, author, but what in the wide world possessed you to make an OC with a name like that? Not to mention, he seems to have very little to his character other than being a meek romantic interest for Fluttershy who, ironically, fits right in at the daycare for being unable to control his bladder and adoring playing with childish toys. Now, I'm not saying that such is an issue—it's up to an individual, sure—and certainly a course named "Daycare" could possibly be intriguing for someone who was of that ilk.

Other than that, the characters were... okay. I felt that Blueblood was too obnoxious for his mere role on the student council, and he would have done better as someone with more influence in the school. Something like a "student body president", or something, though I'm not sure what roles really mean in American schools. Equally, Rarity sometimes felt too snobbish and, excuse my French, "up her own ass". But, for the most part, the characters could have been worse. Slightly.

I did like Pinkie's comment in the first chapter, though:

"I taken One at this test! This means I've completed my collection of grades of this year!"

Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash promptly facepalmed at the statement and allowed Sunset and Fluttershy to gain some respite from the ongoing argument between their friends.

"What? Isn't that how it works?" Pinkie asked, breaking the relative silence that was born between the six girls.

"No, Pinkie... not at all..." Rainbow Dash said before sighing "If it worked like that, I would be the first of the class in English."

SPAG and Formatting

And this is really where the fic falls down, if one is to give an unbiased review and miss out the disturbing unexpected plotline. The random scattering of words from whatever language were really, really offputting. At first, I thought I was being stupid; I soon realised that the translation was either poor or simply lazy. This most definitely needs to be worked on.

Next, typos. There were plenty of opportunities for me to try to get immersed in the story, only to find a confusing typo soon after and break the second-long engagement with the fic. And, truthfully, it felt like that sometimes; hell, there were three in the very first paragraph. And if, by some stroke of luck, there wasn't a typo somewhere to destroy the flow of the reading, there would be an incorrectly used word—especially the incorrect use of the word "for", which is so frequent an error with translations. Though grammatically accurate in other languages, "for to" does not work as it is intended in English.

Overall Impression

Well, this was... alright. I've read worse, to be sure, and would not immediately tell someone to steer clear of this fic if they like the regression fetish / plot. It needs a lot of work, though, before it can really be considered a well handled regression fic.

Ah, this story, my multilingual folly.

Even if no one else will see it, I am glad I can clear up a few things.

Now, maybe I'm just being a blonde British woman, but I've never heard of Mongolian being part of the standard American curriculum. Anyone care to enlighten me? It was mentioned that Canterlot, in this universe, is a classical languages high school... but nevertheless, it's not exactly a standard option.

Ancient Mongolian was supposed to be a pararell to both Latin and Ancient Greek. Why? According to my headcanon, the EQG world is an Alternate History Timelines in which Mongols conquered the HRE and part of France too; while Canterlot is situated in a nation uniting Mongol-English and Mesoamericane culture. Why did I choose to put my headcanon here? Idiocy of my past self, that is why.

I mean, there's an entire section where a song is sung completely in another language. Few high school / college students can speak a language that fluently!

Well, translation of Latin and Greek Metrics does involve Reading it like a song and then translate, I just spared readers the entire process from start to finish.

Flameboy Shy. Yes, I wrote that right, and no, your eyes are not playing tricks on you. Flameboy Shy. I'm sorry, author, but what in the wide world possessed you to make an OC with a name like that? Not to mention, he seems to have very little to his character other than being a meek romantic interest for Fluttershy who, ironically, fits right in at the daycare for being unable to control his bladder and adoring playing with childish toys. Now, I'm not saying that such is an issue—it's up to an individual, sure—and certainly a course named "Daycare" could possibly be intriguing for someone who was of that ilk.

Love makes you dumb. Or, better yet, makes you stop thinking about implications. Flameboy Shy was my ex-boyfriend's OC, and he asked me to write his character the way I did in the story. Sure, it failed to adequately explain else wrong with his presence, but it gives you an idea for why.

I cannot say I expected to see this particular story to pass with flying colours, and honestly I am not sure if anyone would care at this point, so into the trash it goes

5650453

Why did I choose to put my headcanon here? Idiocy of my past self, that is why.

Reasonable, though you might want to clear it up actually in the story (or at least a note/the summary).

Flameboy Shy was my ex-boyfriend's OC

Well, I suppose I cant argue with that one.

Anyway, I wouldn't say the fic is trashcan worthy and little else. Though not really my cup of tea and in need of work, it was not exactly a chore to read either.