The Binding of Isaac: Equestrian Transgressions
By Dragonborne Fox

Reviewed by Rinnaul

So we meet again, Author Of Many Names.

I see we’re back to Mature stories (by the way, no link: Mature) and our old friend the Gore tag. Well, I at least know you’re good at that. You’ve managed to turn my stomach a few times, something only you and Cromegas_Flare have pulled off so far. Let’s see what you have for me this time.

Commentary and Review combined due to brevity.

First, I’d like to say that I’ve never actually played The Binding of Isaac. I did, however, do my research.

Which actually didn’t help anything, for the record.

Anyway, there’s only a single chapter up, and that’s a prologue which consists of a brief recap of the game’s premise and his appearance in Equestria.

While clear and with generally good grammar, the story also tells a bit, making it blunt and bland to read early on, sometimes because the story opts to use a simile rather than description. Descriptions do pick up later on, though, and Celestia’s introduction in particular is excellently done, conveying the sense of awe that Isaac has upon seeing her.

The descriptions of his trials in the game go on perhaps a bit overlong, and can be somewhat confusing to read. That section feels repetitive, as well, but that may be on account of it being a bit of an infodump, relaying a good bit of the game’s plot all at once.

With Celestia’s introduction, we have some of the weaker grammar and writing in the story. “With magnificent wings of archangels” in particular reads oddly, and there has to be a more elegant way of describing her cutie mark than “an orange sun was plastered onto its rear”.

The biggest issue I have with Celestia, though, is her speech. She’s talking like Luna did in Luna Eclipsed, here, which she never did on the show—not even in the flashback to her battle with Nightmare Moon that Twilight saw in Princess Twilight Sparkle, Part 2. Granted, that may be on the series writers than the characters, so if you told me this was set in pre-banishment Equestria, I’d buy it. Otherwise, it’s just a bit out-of-character for her.

The other thing with this scene is we could use a bit more background behind her decision to interfere with Isaac’s fate. Not that I’m saying Celestia wouldn’t try to protect the life of a child. I’m just wondering what brought him to her attention.

All in all, I have plenty of questions, but many of them I think could be chalked up to this being just a prologue.

Fewer than my usual this time.

Sometimes similes make for stronger writing, sometimes they don’t. But things like “sounding like a bit of a maniac” usually work against the narrative, and are best relegated to dialogue. Something like “with a dangerous edge to her voice” usually works better.

Some bits are a bit tired and cliche. How many authors kill a child with “as the knife brought an end to his short life”? My suggestion is to leave out the moment of death itself, and just describe the motion of the blade. That’s all Isaac gets to see, after all.

Finally, either cut some of the game background or find a way to spread it out among the rest of the story. That section was really tedious and repetitive to read.

Enjoyable. I honestly want to see where you take this one, and wouldn’t mind a comment in here announcing it once it comes off of hiatus. That said, I’m leaving it at Enjoyable rather than Recommended because there simply isn’t much to go off of, yet.