This review has been a long time coming. I read this story a long while ago, but never got around to doing the full review on it. I found some time and an urge to review, so... here I am, reviewing this story! Spoiler alert: it's a good one.

The grammar in this story is practically flawless. There were no major blemishes I saw, and sentences read well. There were some minor punctuation errors:

“Thank you, Rarity. I... I love you”

Who doesn't, amirite?

Right?

Hehe...

But, other than that slight blemish, I saw nothing else wrong grammar-wise, so...

Style, style, style...

For some reason, I've always found Style to be the hardest part of these reviews, while being one of the most important parts. It can be hard to get the point here across, especially with examples. Style almost dictates on its own if a story is good or not.

Bloody hell, it makes this story good.

The style in LiM is one that makes it easy to imagine things that are going on. It's not too flowery or hard to understand, but doesn't feel bland or unexciting, especially during Amber Dawn's attempt to rule Equestria. I'd give examples, but then that would reduce your need to read this story.

I will say that the style here leaves a bit to be desired. It can be hard sometimes to understand exactly what characters are feeling, and some things in the story leave the reader with too much to fill in, particularly when describing settings. I found myself having to try and build my own versions in this place, and in a story that's focused more on interpersonal relations like this one, that can reduce immersion in the story.

This is probably the most lacking part of the story. The narrative here makes sense for the most part, but there are some parts that stuck out to me as strange.

- Fluttershy and Rarity's ultimate conclusion, with them dating. Rarity went into bitch mode, mach 7 at first, which I understand. She was taken advantage of. The thing is, though, she was STILL in bitch mode, mach 7 until getting out of it when... well, there's no good reason for her to suddenly change that much that quick. It seems to me that, for the most part, that the characters are still seemingly unaware that Amber Dawn had mind control powers. Fluttershy's treatment near the end of the story feels wildly out-of-proportion to me.

- Twilight being able to withstand AD's torture. The 'fetish' device feels contrived and out of nowhere to me.

- Amber Dawn's entire plan. She really has no reason to rule Equestria when she could just become an influential politician. That much political power is unneeded for her motives, if the Equestria in this story is as accepting as it seems. Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and Twilight would probably be more than willing to help AD make Equestria a true freedom-of-love state.

Other than those things, this story's narrative is sensible.

6/10

The characters in this fic are the ones we know and love, except one notable exception: Amber Dawn.

Amber Dawn is an alicorn (not the bad OC kind, the good OC kind) who tried to take over Equestria and make it a really, really love-centric, accepting state (which... is what Equestria is). She brings the psycho-bitch-meter to mach 11. And she's the inventor of sex magic, and also loves having sex. Who'da thunk?

She's not a bad OC alicorn. She's seemingly delusional, and can't accept anyone's terms but her own.

... Thing is, knowing what we know about alicorn ascension, those seem like a few red flags.

This story's premise is quite original to me; I've never seen one quite like it. It's Flarity with a twist (not the kind), and that twist is psycho bitch alicorn with plans for world domination. Given the execution of this premise, I give it a high rating. The plotholes, however, prevent me from giving it a perfect one.