Yo guys Ragdoll here with a quick thing. My collab story is up and it's on the group under the collab folder if you haven't read it yet give it a try! I'm looking for as much feedback as possible.

Ragdoll Out Link

1994905
Can't see it.

It would perhaps help somepony, if you posted a link to it. That way they wouldn't have to search for it.

2000747
Alright thanks!

1994905
The Nebula Mountains rest north of the peaceful lands of Equestria (insert dot here) here ponies, bat ponies (bat ponies are ponies to. This is like saying: I check internet sites and fimfiction internet site every day), dragons, and even (Scratch even. Dragon living with ponies is more weird than diamond dogs.) diamond dogs all live together in peace….mostly (suggestion: most of the time). Life can get hard for the inhabitants of the mountain range, but they make do with what they have but, life can have a way of throwing a curveball that hit some in the face, break their nose, and leave them on the ground bleeding. (your synopsis is to long as it is and you already said that life is not that easy twice. No need to say the same thing again)

This is the case for (They aren't like the rest that are staying. You could go with last sentence in previous paragraph and scratch the sentence before it.) Rave Melody and her friends: Fang, a diamond dog that got kick-out of his pack, Blaze, a dragoness that is the shame of her clan, and Nightfall, a bat-pony that has nothing to her name (I have no idea what you ment by "has nothing to her name"). This group of friends all decided to leave their home and go to a land would they can start anew. In the land of Equestria. (They decided to start anew in the land of Equestria)

This story has clop, but that is not the main forces of the story and it will have times in it that seem....dark but overall it's not a dark story.
(Are you trying to lose readers on purpose?)

I would like to thank all of my co-authors that help made this work (and fix all my mistakes).
Dark Avenger
BrastaAura17
TheWraithWriter
You all thank these people and the Collab is still open to anyone who wants to help. Like, Favorite, Leave a comment.
(Do it in authors note if you must. And are you ordering your readers to thank some people? It's very rare for a reader to thank an author for writing.)

PS. I'm not qualified to be an editor or a proofreader, so please assume that anything in my comment may be wrong.

2005865
Thanks for the feedback. The reason it sounds like I'm repeating the same thing is because I'm trying to drive a point through in the shortest way possible without have the story be center around the hard life that Fang and the others had, rather center the story around them living in Equestria with a hard past. You see my point? Like when I said Nightfall had nothing to her name. That means that she lost everything that holds any meaning to her.

When I gave credit to the co-authors for working with me in writing the story with me is all of them is taking time out of their lives to help some one that they don't know, and that's my way of showing thanks.

The part where I said the collab is still open is I thought it would be easier to put it with the summary then the author's notes. Also when I said the story had clop, but not the main thing that so when someone is reading the story they wouldn't be crossed when I don't have a lot of clop in it and they won't be upset about the darkish parts of the story. I think that so far it is serving it's purpose.
Thanks again it really means a lot and it also helps