Okay, I just finished my 3rd chapter for Tipping Scales, and I'll be posting it tomorrow after I get back from work and give it another quick review for spelling and grammer, however in the meantime I thought that everyone who actually follows the forums could get a preview and maybe help catch some of those errors as well.

Tipping Scales; Chapter 3 - Relative Difficulty

It just seems to me that it can only be a benefit if we toss the whole group at any particular chapter before it actually hits the public viewing. So I thought rather than this thread just being a thread for my chapters, it could be a thread for anyone to post up a preview of their chapters.

Ooh, nice idea. I'm definitely going to have to use it going forward.

As for your chapter, I didn't see anything that stood out, so I'll make a teensy comedy critique:

Crisis, ever so narrowly, averted.

"Now where did I put that bubblewrap? Once we get him wrapped up, he should be completely safe."

Or not. "Oh hell no."

The timing's off here--that last paragraph's too long to be a good punchline. Personally, I'd stick with the funnier line and drop the other:

Crisis, ever so narrowly, averted.

"Now where did I put that bubblewrap? Once we get him wrapped up, he should be completely safe."

Oh hell no.

Going forward, I'd recommend posting the chapters to Google Docs for criticism--that way, we can tag exactly what paragraph has the problem, instead of having to quote it in a comment on this thread. For example, here's Chapter 7 of Breakdown in Google Docs. Plus moving comments into Google Docs instead of leaving them in this thread makes it easier to pick out when I post my chapters!