Hello Everybody, Fimbulvinter signing in here with a story I have been meaning to get reviewed for some time now.
Interview with the Changeling
It was the first piece of fan fiction I had ever followed through to completion and I think it did ok, but I would like to get some hard reviews on it, as I'm sure I made some mistakes in there. Most of the reviews I have gotten are just either 'get an editor', which doesn't help or pointing out spelling mistakes - useful, but not quite what I am looking for.

Basic theme is an exploration of the nature of the Changelings as Celestia sends off a group of ponies to aid Chrysalis after a drone comes to Canterlot begging for help. On the way they learn that the Changelings are not all bent on conquest and encounter Trixie, who is once again in trouble.

Thank you for reviewing my story! Give me a day or two and I'll have your review ready! (I got overloaded with work and stuff so I'm sorry that the review is so late...)

Format taken directly from the Authors Helping Authors page.

Name of Story: Interview with the Changeling
Grammar Score: 6
Pros:
Excellent, interesting storyline
All canon characters were portrayed wonderfully, especially Fleur and her talent
All chapters offered a new experience, from adventure to romance
Cons:
Grammar and typos, although they didn't take anything away
What, there were any more cons?
I didn't see any.
Notes:
The story was amazing. The interview offered an interesting insight to the changeling race and, with each question answered, allowed me to see all that changelings were. The adventure that ensued was exciting and kept me at the edge of my seat. And the final bit was a great conclusion that summed up the story very nicely while still leaving it open to expansion. There is absolutely nothing about the story that was an issue with me.

The characters in the story all added their own flair to the piece, while still keeping those that are canon within their respective personalities. Blueblood and Fancy's relationship was perfect. The idea of Fancy being a watchdog over the cowardly Blueblood made me laugh. Drone, as a character, was interesting yet ambiguous. He offered so much about the changelings, but yet nothing about himself. I guess that's how it is with drones. I almost pleaded for more about Drone, but I can see why he wouldn't be too open about himself. It made me appreciate him so much.

There are some typos and grammar issues that show up throughout the piece. For example, in Chapter 1:
The other two ponies were members of the media (that were)brought along to record the interview. The first one, Hard Hitter(comma) worked for the Canterlot Times, and was well known as being a provider of well researched and balanced articles. The other journalist, Daily (S)coop(comma) was a freelancer, currently working for the Stable Enquirer, (and was)well know(n) for being a source of news (that was)heavily dramaticised and embellished in the pursuit of selling additional papers. If any pony could take what was likely to be a waste of time and turn it into an interesting story(comma) it was him.
Capitalization isn't consistent throughout the piece, but isn't a huge issue.
There are some words in the piece that seem to be auto-corrected. They just don't belong and I can't think of a reason why. In Chapter 2:
“Oh Shining, I through (should be thought)that you had been replaced by that drone, I was so worried about you”.
The last sentence also reminds me about quotations. You're placing the punctuation on the outside, but if it's the end of the sentence and quotation it's inside.
"...worried about you."
Also, if a description comes after a sentence that isn't a question or exclamation, you end the sentence with a comma.
"...worried about you," Drone said.
I will say this, as I read later on into the chapters the grammar gets significantly better.

I think the way to fix the grammar and typo issue is to reread each chapter, word for word because it's only occasionally sneaking itself in, before posting it or enlist the help of an editor. There are only minor issues, but most are consistent, capitalization and the occasional word error in particular.

I realize that you want some critical reviews of the story, but besides the grammar, there wasn't anything that I could find an issue with. Like I said, your story was interesting and you covered it beautifully. Your characters, minus Drone I think, were well developed and the canon ones stayed true to form. If I were to say one thing about reading it, it would be that you shouldn't doubt yourself. You did a great job with the story.

612039 Thank you for spending the time to take a look. Have a look at the sequel at some point. I'd love to know how my writing has improved over time.

603627
Your biggest issue is with grammar. I suggest you get a proofreader to go over details with you, read up on grammar and punctuation rules (especially for dialogue), and keep the punctuation and formatting in mind when you read professional works of fiction, or works by other authors on FimFiction with good grammar. You should also shorten your page breaks so they don't go over two lines and end up looking ugly.

Your dialogue sections are terribly dry. It's become more of a study session than a story, when all you're doing is just giving information and spouting words. Give more action, emotion, and reaction to the characters who are talking.

Trixie was never noted as powerful as you have portrayed her, as clearly shown in her debut episode of season 1. Explain or change this, or readers will be confused.

You do a good job of making the dialogue flow, as though people were actually having a discussion. You also manage to keep most of the characters well, in character.