Hi there guys! My name is Verlax, and due to recommendation from vren55, I joined this group. Your idea of helping each other with writing their fics is just marvelous, and I will happily join you in this glorious task. But now, I want to publish my fic, which received quite little amount of attention.

Title : Equestria First and Only

Well, this fiction is a tribute to the Dan Abnett's incredibly glorious and magnificent work with ( WH40k ) Gaunt's Ghost novel series. If you don't know a story about the Tanith First and Only i highly recommend you to give it a try.

Basically, in the grim darkness, of the far future where is only war, Equestria was isolated due to incredibely powerful barrier/cloak spell from the Royal Sisters. However, spell was about to be destroyed, and nothing could stop this. But, before it happen Princess Celestia and Princess Luna managed to convince General Anders from Imperial Guard, and Equestria joined the Imperium of Mankind. However, to do this Princess Luna made a sacrifise that casted thousands of ponies into the oblivion of the eternal war and slaughter. That was, how the First and Only was born.

Actually, I just seek for a better opinions than "your story is good, keep doing that bro!" but rather I look some serious criticism. I'm extremely ambitious, and I want to make this story really awesome, and to do this I need some serious advises.

Stay Awesome

Verlax

I gotta say your story is looking pretty good. There were some grammatical errors that you should definitely look in to. A few awkward sentences as well, but nothing to serious. Overall the premise is very interesting and I look forward to more!

Overall your story is great, though it does suffer from incorrect wording and awkward sentencing to use raritwifan's wording. If you would like I could try and fix up some of your sentences so that they sound better. I won't be able to fix everything though. just send me a PM if your interested or reply to my comment here.

602413

Yea, I'm totally interested. I find myself hard to write all this fancy lines in descriptions, or some rich sentences, because English is not my native language, and well, kinda hard to get a good education where I live.

602451 great, always glad to help out, if you use goolge docs, you can send me the link to it in a PM, if not then you can email the file to me, Zack73456@gmail.com.

602463

I will send all this stuff tomorrow. As for your story, it will get a review for me, when I will come back to home tomorrow.

Stay Awesome

Verlax

602506 ok I look forward to it