Here's something I wrote at 1 AM last night about the nonsense of time travel. I thought it fit here.

So you've all heard of time travel, right? You go through that big wibbly-wobbly ball of spaghetti that is time, and suddenly you're in the future, or the past, or ten seconds from now. It gets weirder, way weirder than you think.

So you know how we experience time? As Captain Obvious would say, we all go through time at 1 second per second. But...if you actually put that into a fraction like 1s/s, the seconds cancel out, so technically we're all travelling through time at 1. 1 what? I don't know, man. The units for time travel don't make sense, so let's make them make sense.

I propose a new unit used to measure the speed of travel through time, equivalent to 1 second per second, so that things make sense again. Let's call it the Jack Squat, because as I mentioned before, it doesn't technically exist. So we're all time travelling at 1 Jack Squat right now. If you want to go from now to exactly 24 hours from now in ten seconds of you-time, you'd need to be going at about 8,640 Jack Squats (I really need an abbreviation for that stupid unit).

Well, with just 24 hours, the numbers are already getting kind of ridiculous, so let's find something else. I know, let's make 1,000,000 Jack Squats a Diddly Squat, and make 1,000 Diddly Squats a Jack Diddly Squat. Oh yeah, now we're time travelling.

Okay, so now you want to go from now to exactly 1,000 years from now in five seconds of you-time. I don't know, maybe you're an MLP villain from the mystical age of 1,000 years ago, but darn it, you want to fight Twilight Sparkle and her gang of nerds. Assuming every year has 365 days (it doesn't, but don't worry about it), to do this amount of time fudgery would require you to go at 6,307,200,000 Jack Squats, which would be 6,307.2 Diddly Squats, or 6.3072 Jack Diddly Squats. That's pretty fast, my boy. Maybe just stick with 1 Jack Squat for now.

[Addendum: I only covered going to the future with these ramblings, and built the unit(s) off of that. As a result, if you time travelled to the past, you'd actually be travelling at negative Jack Squats.]

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Okay this is cool