On writing: A memoir on trying to be funny [biography]

I've tried writing comedy, and I've always failed, but I did learn something in the process. Being funny is usually a mix of being "unpredictable" while at the same time being "emotionally close" to your audience: To surprise them with something relateable.

Biography time!
When I was 11 years old, the teacher gave us a spoken prompt. The teacher named a fictional character, who like "Alice in Wonderland" suddenly appeared in an unknown place. The class had to take the writing from there. Coincidentally the character's name was identical to our teacher's and most included the actual teacher, and a few included the class.

Besides practicing unconstrained writing, the class also got to read aloud what they had written.

But I didn't stop writing when the assignment was finished. I kept on writing, and I kept on reading, a new chapter to the class on a near weekly basis. Another guy did the same.
Together we wasted everyone's time.

As you can imagine, my story, attempting to be funny, was complete and utter trash.
That my classmates wanted to hear it was entirely based on two factors:
1) Once a week they could space out and ignore what was said for 20 minutes. They liked that!
2) The story would namedrop classmates in various situations. Curiosity about how they were mentioned kept a vague interest up.

I realized my story wasn't funny because I could compare it to the other guy's. Yet people didn't mind hearing my crappy slice-of-unlife, and many claimed they preferred my story over his.
I never understood why.

My buddy who wrote from the same prompt was way funnier than I was. He had actual jokes! And I admired his ability to come up with jokes. Eventually he revealed his secret: His dad got him tons of comics and cartoons, and he simply copied jokes from there. (Since my jokes were all homemade - I didn't have any.)

This experience taught me two things:
1) People are very interested in how you describe them, and are prepared to listen to anything where they may play an important part. (Some people even Google their own name, as if their inner search failed.)
2) How you deliver something is extremely important. More so than the actual joke.

I figured out number one, as my buddy's story mostly dismissed the students, to focus on the protagonist teacher. Since my story kept my classmates around, they were (mildly) curious about the next chapter.

I figured out number two, the importance of delivery, as I saw the class respond. My buddy told professional jokes and they ignored it. They smirked when I mentioned names in various situations, even though it was just situations, not jokes.

The important difference between our comedies was in the setting, the build-up, the delivery.

My friend presented his story as a high-paced stream of words.
I tried to teach him the art of sentences, but he said he preferred one long sentence. (Yes, he actually said that.)

I tried to teach him the value of silence, adding pauses, to give the audience time to think and imagine what was said. He didn't care for that either.

The importance of setting the mood and making a good delivery, can't be emphasized enough. No matter if you write for 11-year-old classmates, or 12 to 80-year-old FimFic poniacs.

If you read the text to "Monty Python's Cheese Shop sketch" or "Dead Parrot sketch", it's not that impressive. It's the delivery that does it. (Seen on YouTube.)

Delivery is everything! The joke only has to be good if you want people to repeat it.
Otherwise, "being funny" and having a "funny bone", is more about the attitude, than the punchline.

There are more writers in this world than stand-up comedians, because writing a story, and telling a story, are two entirely different things, and being successful at one doesn't mean you're successful at the other.

To paraphrase the late George Carlin, the famous Stand-Up comedian: "I'm a writer, but I couldn't get anyone to read my work, so I had to read it for them."

Comedy is a huge topic, and too big for a single blog, but this is the current status in my quest to figure out the hidden secrets of humor.
My recent attempts apply the teachings of Zen Buddhism to make my jokes achieve enlightenment.

• I become part of the writing.
• To be one with the humor.
• To be the joke.

So far the Zen part works; as my punchline fills my audience with tranquility.

Then again, we all have our niche, our specialty in life so to speak. Different writers are good at different types of writing. What I would like to write has nothing to do with what I can successfully write.

I may not be a funny writer of comedies, but those who met me know that I can kill the mood.
I suppose that gives me the foundation to write murder mysteries; because I don't understand it, and that will add the mystery.