Frustration · 1:52am Jan 15th, 2022
I'm so frustrated right now... so I don't talk about my personal issues - at best I may speak about a little problems or situations; etc. I get sick, school, or small vacation or so on. I do mention I'm writing a personal book series, but just right now... is just absolute shite, no, its absolute SHIT, I'm going to pause any of my usual "lingo" or phrases. I learned so much right now this second its... sickening to hear, before I started writing or heck before I had proper control of myself I would had immediately gone berserk and either embarass myself or hurt myself (or hurt my target of rage) to a pulp.
Now... I'm just trying to flow the frustration, anger, and rage through these words... honestly I can say that majority of what I've written had been myself on auto-pilot, but I have written a few pieces, most not even story related just the first words that come to my head about what I did today or the previous week, or just anything... to let the emotions move smoothly out of my system.
I... I... I... for now I'll go back to reading and writing until this has all just dulled away and I'm back to my relaxed self...
Sorry... if I seem different for awhile... while I could write down what had or have happened... its best I leave it as it is.
A story is built on the truths, lies, and honest feelings of many individuals... I just learned or rather... my firm viewpoint of a certain individual has been confirmed and shattered irrevocably... I had... no feelings for this individual, before I either hate, loved, or thought of this person, then I simply closed off and placed this individual as a simple 'it'... now...
That individual has my "full" attention... but it best stay that I think of them as nothing... or I may lose what remnant of my calm still remains...
I will continue to write... but now... I think I need it more to distract myself than for simple publishing or deadlines to be met...
Hope you all stay safe... and that... the future will not be as bleak as my own... farewell, and a good day.
glad to see ur still kicking. Best of luck with whatever you're dealing with! :)