Sometimes...My Parents Never Take My Opinions Into Consideration · 3:18pm Jan 12th, 2022
This isn't about Wingdingaling, this is one of the reasons why I couldn't let go of what happened to me late 2018. Please, my parents aren't horrible so if anyone insults them, I'm deleting your comment. You see, I've told them about what I wrote (The porn stories) along with the whole DeviantArt journal from SpokenMind93 (Which isn't on there anymore) which forces me to delete my old DeviantArt account due to them flipping out.
They told me what I wrote is wrong and it could let me to prison. After three long years, that argument has becoming soiled with them enforcing it without realizing it's never helping me to begin with. Considering the post SpokenMind93 published back on 2018 is no longer on DeviantArt (Most likely she removed it or it got taken down), my parents never got the point that when they say fiction or not just because it's sexual was never the case of my situation.
I respect my parents to go against inappropriate material but on the other hand, it didn't improve me on their points since it's misleading. After 2018, I've been making videos about people doing Pedophilla acts with minors. I did this to do what's right but as the years gone by, I'm starting to convince it barely improve me at all. Mostly like because those people did those acts in real life and I kelp my fanfiction into fictional, nothing more. Every time I attempt to make a stand just for the sake that their points are misleading, they enforce it on being wrong when it doesn't work for me.
Here's what I mean, I'm turning 24 this May and they're my legal guardians. I can't take care of myself because I'm incapable of moving forward. They also mention that one of the famous people online don't write those stories. It's one thing for to grow up to be a better person but after 2018, I couldn't improve on that when I'm getting shunned out from my opinions. I have disabilities but I still have an opinion what I try to keep civil about.
And about famous people, they did the inappropriate stuff way back when they're growing. And even if they don't do them anymore, they're never meant to be for kids, just like my porn stories. If a child reads those type of stories, it was never my responsibility. Sure I did post one of them on DeviantArt in my old account but for my defense, I was getting a custom with the websites. And here's something that's probably gone, I've mentioned that I'm fine being a pedophile, but in the wrong communication. I didn't age up Spike the dog because I didn't prefer it as a human that way, and the reasons of him staying as a dog was me trying to get more views, regardless how disturbing it was.
I didn't mean to cause any heat because I barely know about pedophilla and that includes my Oliver stories. And when I read comments about my Spike stories being acceptable since he's non human, it's further proof that I'm being pushed around. I was fully aware people would react to content they hate but when they act like they're superior, that is where they become toxic and I'm fed up of getting the short end of the stick.
What I really hate is how they don't bother to just ignore them. They can flag the content but they shouldn't cross lines that physical hurts me, accountability or not. I know I keep going back to old topics but this didn't improve me to be better, it just makes me stuck to where it all started. I can't move forward when people enforce topics that it's becoming done to death to be scary. It actually proves that my parents expected more from me when I grow up even though I'm attempting to make it work. My autism shouldn't be the problem to go away, even if most of my content is safer for kids to watch or read, I still put my focus of adults since it's what makes people on Youtube popular. And I know full well that children isn't always the target demographic justing how politics get in the way.
Here's another thing I need to discuss. When I get extremely upset over wrestling due to booking or anything cartoon related that's for children, my parents told me to get over it. Sure they're trying to express they're fake at the end of the day but it kind of contrafics they enforcement on what I wrote. Regards of the inappropriate content, it should never go to the point of bringing justice when it's not harm real people. And if they have the nerve to say I'm harming myself by writing those stories all the while me dragging the family down, that is where it makes me loose any confidence.
My mother flipping out, my father forcing me to do the right thing, all the while never giving me any space or privacy of my business, it makes me feel handicapped and I don't improve on that. They demonize porn thinking I should take their word without taking my opinions and perspective into consideration. I'm not the best communicator but I shouldn't put others first then me all the time. Just because I wrote porn doesn't automatically mean they should get the idea that I'm disrespecting them, they should understand that fiction and reality are never the same thing nor forcing me to take their opinion when I never said other opinions are better then theres. If someone's keeping it fictional while not turning them into realities, there's no need to add verbal pressure.
And the sad thing is, it didn't even stop me from doing what I enjoy, nor even getting in the way of better projects. I'm losing my ability to write more because I couldn't get into the new ideas, and for the most, it's not really worth it to complete a story knowing I have several ones I've dropped from time to time. It kind of makes the whole fiction idea meaningless and I shouldn't have that influence. And since it took me this long to tune down my video projects, I doubt they will ever get the idea that what I'm expressing is the truth. Heck even if I had the permission to write those stories again or not, it would still take a long time to complete them, same as the SFW stories.
.........sigh.........
I think I've said everything I had in my chest for such a long time. Like I said, my parents aren't terrible or abusive so don't say anything against them, including my family. If anyones gonna mention about my choices back from 2018, please don't blame me completely, there's more to it. I doubt everyone won't read everything from this blog but please, for the sake of god, PLEASE BE CIVIL! DON'T CAUSE ANYMORE VERBAL STRESS!
I truly hope that things between you and your parents can be fixed civilly, and with a third party negotiator