Does this happen to anybody else after a certain time? · 1:23am Mar 3rd, 2021
After a certain time of day or night (night in my case, the time in which I'm writing this), does anybody become extremely melancholic and thoughtful about their lives? Where you're headed, where you'll be in the next few odd years, if you'll be the same person or not, whether or not you'll still be single or in a relationship and how you'll handle it?
I get like that after a certain time and the endless contemplation overwhelms my mind. It makes me quite sad, actually. I'm severely depressed in general, and I have to admit that my line of thought won't leave the dark path of worst case scenarios I've experienced in my dreams or from a series of ideology I've built up over the years. I have quite a lot of fears about whether or not I'll live to see some moments in my lifetime, if I'll get what I want. I have mentioned if only once my paranoia, a problem I fully own up to having, that I'll not live long enough to see my 30's. I find that to be accurate more than cynical, given my current state.
I won't know for sure for a very long time by the sound of it. I wish I knew the answers to many of those and upcoming questions. The formula simply reads out as: ''Oh, deary me.'' If my name was James May, I'd answer it as follows: ''Oh, cock.''
But...yeah. Each night I enter this melancholic mode without realising it, have a couple pints of Guinness and contemplate, often dwelling on it all and wondering if I should cry or let myself go. The second option sounds more appealing in some ways. I'm often too exhausted to resist it.
So, I ask you: does this exact thing happen to you at a certain time?
Not with the same frequency or severity, but yeah, I get what you're saying.
Winter solstice, or very near it.
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I have no clue what that means. Looked it up and am still confused what that has to do with anything.