A Dark Premonition That Did Actually Come True (Even If Only Technically) · 7:38pm Jan 30th, 2021
I haven't spoken about this very openly often, but without anything else to do right now, I may as well discuss it with you.
Back in 2017 when things in my life took on a massive downturn and I literally faced death following a mental breakdown, I had some very, very disturbing premonitions on what my own death would look like. The scary part about this story is that it was almost exact to how I dreamed of it.
You all know I've had a few expectant ways to go out, and they were highlighted in my dreams. However, they played more like a vision than a fictitious dream. Yes, dreams are largely fictional, but there has been so much debate over the years on whether or not they can tell/predict the future. Very skeptical topic, I know. I'm not numb to that.
In one of these dreams, I was home late at night or early in the morning when the sun hadn't yet come up, so the sky was a midnight blue-ish colour. I was laid dead in the summer house in my dad's back garden. The door was locked, I was splayed face-up in the middle of the floor with a gun between my hands and a hole through my head. When I almost succeeded in taking my own life, this is what the scenario was and would have been.
Over fear of doing something stupid, I never kept my gun with me. It's locked away in the garage right at the back with the rifles. I wouldn't have it around to tempt me. With that means of self-execution gone, it was drink instead that I overloaded my liver and body on. Still open to debate on how that miraculously did not manage to kill me when it should have.
Recently, to tie into another premonition, I recently bought a car, in mid-December. I once had a dream about offing myself in a hatchback by plowing it into a metal railing, to which it erupted into flames but I was killed instantly upon impact. But in these last few days, I've had terrifying encounters in my dreams about getting into car accidents.
One of said events involved me careening off the road after losing control, skidding into the oncoming lane, colliding with a car, flipping over in the car onto the grass by the pavement on the opposite side of the road where my college is and then I passed out. Another involved me somehow surviving a natural disaster (violent earthquake, which is almost non-existent over here, at least in large-scale) and finding my car buried within tonnes of rubble, hardly recognisable and upturned. I knew it was mine because the fob key worked. For some reason, the engine block was rammed through the interior and was now resting in the boot. I opened the boot door and litres of diesel flowed out, almost flooding the street.
That last part is hyper unrealistic, I know. Dreams are strange and usually don't make sense. It does have a lot of reasonable explanation involved, seeing as it's been almost three years since passing my test that I've been behind the wheel of a car and going on the main road alone is scary at first, having to re-adjust to it all. That is entirely understandable.
I'm not sure what's more scary to me; the fact that the dream in the summer house was almost very real (technically, it was since I was laid there in real life at the time and was struggling to fight off shutting down and inevitably dying) or that me now owning a car, any one of those scenarios I've experienced in my mind can become a reality any day and any time I'm out driving. It can literally happen and I'd probably not know it's happening until it's taking place. By then, it'll be too late to react.
Maybe this is all me just being paranoid, but I do have plenty of reasons to be exactly that. Suffering from fatigue (not good as a driver) and having a hard time concentrating because of it aren't exactly ideal. Common sense is the only lifeline I have. Don't risk anything if you have no reason to. Avoiding what can lead to disaster will save your life if you think it over first. Remember that and you'll live.
That's what I had to say, and it's honestly so strange to be saying this at all, given how daft it does sound. I wanted to get it out of my head.
Take it like this - you are meant to live.
All these premonitions coming true, only to stop short before the final step, has meaning in its own way.
5445024
I'm not sure what to believe after the many times I've escaped death in my lifetime. It's like life has a hobby with trying to take me out but fails constantly.
You might be right, but that doesn't make them any less scary and traumatic to experience. Don't call it luck, either. That's such a rusty cliché.
5445107
Yeah, I deliberately did not call it luck.
I've had near misses.
One of them was with a bus as a kid.
I was lost, separated from a group of friends at a night event. This was before mobile phones.
Kept retracing my steps... looking for them among the crowds... then I crossed the road thinking I had looked. I didn't see the bus until I was looking at its headlight. My brain instinctively put my arm in front of my face and it acted as a spring - pushing my body back as soon as it made contact with the corner of the bus. My arm was grazed as it scraped along the entire length of the bus.
The bus kept going, then I was dodging traffic until I made it to the traffic island.
You don't call that kind of experience "luck".
For some reason, we are both still alive.