My Review of Star Wars: Episode 7–The Force Awakens · 5:11pm Nov 19th, 2020
Rating Scale:
12/10—a complete masterpiece; flawless and outstanding
11/10—Excellent, near-perfect film
10/10—the standard rating; awesome film with a couple of flaws
9/10—a wonderful film with several flaws
8/10–a great film with numerous flaws but not enough to ruin it
7/10—a fun and entertaining movie; not great but still enjoyable
6/10—a slightly above average film; it is something I might watch again
5/10—mediocre movie; not awful but not great either
4/10—a below average film; it could have been much better
3/10—a bad film; poorly written and poorly executed
2/10—a very bad movie; the few good things in the movie overshadowed by the bad things
1/10—a terrible movie; a total waste of time
0/10—a worthless piece of abomination; should have never been made
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Hey, guys. Here is my long overdue review of this seventh episode of the Star Wars saga: The Force Awakens. More like... The Mediocrity Awakens! (Sigh) Look, let me make something clear to you all: my reviews of the sequel trilogy will be coming from my own perspective and not as a Star Wars fan. Like I said before, I have a very loose connection with the franchise especially since I don’t love it as much as I used to when I was a pre-teen. The prequel trilogy is decent and mildly good: The Phantom Menace is mediocre at best, Attack of the Clones is fairly passable but not great, and Revenge of the Sith was awesome and amazing. The original trilogy is good in terms of story-telling but is weak in terms of animation and some parts of the plot; A New Hope is slightly above average but not as great as people make it out to be, The Empire Strikes Back is actually great only because of Vader and Luke, and Return of the Jedi is good as a conclusion of the Anakin Skywalker storyline.
And that is where we get this last trilogy of the saga. So here are my thoughts on The Force Awakens:
The Plot: I have to admit... this story isn’t exactly terrible as many people claim it to be, but it is definitely weak in an average level. Because here we see the First Order arising from the shadows after the defeat of the Empire under the new leadership of this villain named Kylo Ren. He is the apprentice of the supreme leader called... Snoke? (Snickers) What in the flying fuck? That’s his name? Snoke??? 😂 That has got to be one of the most unintentionally hilarious and nonthreating names I’ve heard. That’s like having “snort” or “meh” for a name.
Anyway, “Snoke” (tries hard not to laugh) has created plans to defeat the Jedi and also to take over the Galaxy. Additionally, Luke Skywalker has gone missing! The legendary Jedi Master must be found before the Sith and his army find him! We also have a new main character by the name of... Rey. Ughhh... I’m sorry but I don’t like this character at all. I mean, does she really deserve to be a Jedi? She has all these force powers with no training and can actually do anything that stands in her way. Now listen here: to all those who love Rey and who go through mental gymnastics in explaining why she’s a “great character”, please don’t bother lecturing me about this Mary Sue. I have no interest in this bitch. She’s bland, boring, a nobody by definition, and literally an un-relatable protagonist. So, don’t talk to me about her please.
The Villain: Kylo Ren is undeniably a rip-off of Darth Vader. I don’t give a flying shit about him being his “grandson”. His voice is laughable, the way he vents his anger is pathetic, and overall a lame antagonist. As the other sequels covered him, they gave him some weak development which I will talk about in my other two reviews. At least “Snoke” had some intimidating essence around him. Yes, I dare put his name in quotes because that name is just stupid.
Everything else : Lastly, this Finn character had great potential as a wonderful supporting protagonist. I like the fact that he is formerly a Stormtrooper who can’t bring himself to do harm to anyone and serve Kylo Ren. So his progression from one side to another was actually the only interesting subplot in the whole film. But then... he becomes the Star Wars version of Sam Wickwicky. Why? Because—
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!
That sums it up. Why does he feel the need to shout her name every single time? Is he simping for her or something? Hmm... how about like this:
Finn: REEEEEYYYY!!
Sam: OPTIMUS!!!!!
Finn: REEEEEYYYY!!!
Sam: BUMBLEBEE!!!
Finn: REEEEEYYYY!!!
Sam: MICHAEL BAY!!!!
Finn: MY LUUUUUUNGS!!!!!!
The fights scenes are decent, the CGI is great, the soundtrack is awesome, but the characters are fairly weak and boring. This is probably the most tame sequel out of the trilogy; unfortunately, it got progressively worse until the end. Therefore, this gets a 5/10. Sorry, TFA fans, but this one just doesn’t feel right. But it’s not terrible, so I’ll give them that.
Peace.
P.S. If you want to wake someone up, just scream: REEEEEEEYYYYY!!!!!
Special Effects were good.
This movie hinted at Rey being a Kenobi, but they ended up making her a Palpatine for some reason.
BOTH MOVIES WERE DIRECTED BY THE SAME GUY!
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That’s just sad...
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I know, right?
This is the first Star Wars movie I saw in theaters. And personally, I wasn't disappointed. Although I love all the sequel trilogy movies (anyone reading this, don't kill me >-<. I know it has flaws, but I have my defenses for them), I will miss the feeling I had after seeing this film in theaters: curious as to what will happen next, and excitement over where things go. Although things weren't as I expected, I didn't really care.
I will admit, I loved the fight scenes, characters, etc. And I loved how badass Finn was in this movie. I loved both fights having to do with a lightsaber. Though I will admit, he does yell Ray's name too much.
I have some harsh opinions about this movie, but you pretty much covered them. I will say this however, when you touch upon the next two movies in this trilogy, my words will be said.
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Your words are duly noted. And for that I say...
REEEEYYYY!!!!!!!!
Sorry, I couldn’t resist. 🤣🤣