I just broke down crying while listening to this

And thinking about someone very special to me

Idk, when I was younger I didn't care if I was alone, I knew what it was like to feel unloved and I got used to it, but then it all got so much harder after I discovered what love was, and just how bad it hurt to lose someone you truly loved, I've experienced it time and time again, but in the case of this person, it's worse than ever, it feels like I'm losing the entire force that keeps me going and alive, today was one of the worst days of my entire life, I worked myself up with fear of losing her so much that I couldn't get out of bed without feeling like I was going to hurl, but I knew I wouldn't because I didn't eat anything, and when I did eat something it wouldn't stay down but for like five minutes, so I just layed in bed in a ball and cried pretty much the whole day while listening to music, and occasionally I would hear a song that made me think about how much I can't live without her and it only made the tears increase, all while listening, or at least trying to for a message from her but alas nothing, I think my heart will break completely if she doesn't message me tomorrow, I haven't heard from her since last Thursday and she's been plaguing my mind, I guess today my shell broke and I couldn't hold a fake smile anymore, once again, I'm sorry to bother you guys with my venting, I'll go now