Just Remember · 4:16am Sep 8th, 2020
Never judge before you enter.
I’ve always hated social media.
I have almost all of them (with the exception of FaceBook) but I hardly ever use them. The only one I seem to use regularly is Twitter, and Discord, if that counts.
Throughout my years people always told me, “You should make a/an (insert social media name here), I bet you’d make interesting/funny posts!”
Oh, I have no doubt I could. But I didn’t want to.
See, there’s not really a whole lot to go for this. It has nothing to do with not wanting to make funny sub minute videos. It has nothing to do with over sharing that a lot of people do. It has nothing to do with the older generations always telling me that social media is the devil.
It has everything to do with how mundane my life is. See, I have a nasty habit of forcing myself to use something I download, buy, make, whatever. I don’t know why but even when I did have an Instagram for a slight time I always felt pressured to make posts. Even if I didn’t have many followers or friends that followed them.
I suppose that could be another reason. Most of the people who followed me on them or wanted me to make them were old school friends that I very easily fell out of touch with. They basically became strangers again. So why would I put my life out on display for people who didn’t care for me and vice versa?
I did a little exercise a while ago. I took my entire day and wrote it down as if I were sharing it on social media.
Only problem was I couldn’t think of anything to post. Here’s what I did that day:
-Woke up.
-Watched mundane YouTube videos for a few hours in bed.
-Got up and made a sandwich.
-Watched anime while eating said sandwich.
-Took a shower.
-Played a game solo for a few hours.
-Played another game with friends until 3 in the morning.
-Went back to sleep.
Not a whole lot that weekend, huh? Problem is, that was pretty much every weekend for years. I didn’t go outside the house unless it was for school and if it was summer, work.
Occasionally I would get dragged out to do something. Swimming, movie theater, restaurant, etc.. But those were few and far between. So, if it wasn’t a weekend, YouTube and playing games along would just be replaced with school or work.
I had nothing to talk about. I still don’t, really. Even Twitter I mainly just use to follow artists and YouTubers I enjoy. That’s it. Sure, I have an account where I post once in a blue moon, but 99% of my Twitter time is made up of scrolling through what other people do.
As for Discord, it’s different for me. It feels like an extension of my life at this point. Most of my friends are only through Discord, anyone I would text before is now there anyways, and the only ones who aren’t are basically just people too old for it.
Honestly, if it wasn’t for work, some family members, and legal shit, I wouldn’t even pay for phone service. The last personal text I had was almost a month ago. I make phone calls maybe twice a month unless something else comes up or they call me first.
Am I upset over this?
Nah, not at all. I’ve been doing it way too long to even really notice unless I do some soul searching late at night like I am at the time of writing this.
So, whenever someone asks me, “Do you have an (once again, insert social media name here)?”, the answer is one of two things.
“No.” Or “Yeah, but I don’t really use it. Don’t even remember the name I have on it.”
I could tell you the same two responses I always get, but it doesn’t matter.
But what does any of this mean? What’s the point of building up so much? What dumbass point could I potentially make?
When the lockdowns first started for COVID-19, I saw a lot of posts on Twitter about people going crazy because they couldn’t leave their houses.
I laughed when I saw them. Why?
…
Because they were funny.
That’s all. They made me laugh.
Did you expect me to laugh because, like the meme that went around, I basically lived in my own lockdown for years prior to COVID-19 even being a thing?
I saw those posts as well. And they also made me laugh. Not because I knew they were basically me for over a decade, but because they were funny.
But then I really thought about it. And I came to a realization.
Everyone was now living rather mundane lives. Everything was shut down or limited so there was nothing to do.
Yet, somehow, everyone I knew still posted all about their lives on social media just as much as before.
So am I just stupid? Is my life somehow even more boring than a person in a pandemic lockdown?
No, I don’t think so. I think I’m just awful at sharing things. And with how much I abhor drama, and half of social media nowadays being nothing but drama, I think I just don’t want to be sucked up in the filth.
I make a lot of jokes about people who use specific platforms. But honestly? I don’t really care. Some people seem to froth at the mouth when someone mentions they use Twitter, Reddit, Discord, FaceBook, anything. Whatever they use doesn’t affect my life. I’ll still vilify them in my statements, though. Twitter does suck ass, sometimes. A lot of the time.
I think it just isn’t for me. At the end of the day, I’m not the only one. Some people can put everything they do out there on the internet for everyone to comment on.
Me? I can’t do that. I was never explicitly told it was a bad thing, but everyone always made it seem like it was a bad thing that I wasn’t talking about what statement I didn’t agree with today was or post a pic of what I was gonna wear to go out for 30 minutes to get food and come right back home.
And I’m alright with that. You don’t have to share everything you do with strangers and friends alike. I’m just gonna keep on keeping everything to myself and continue to live with privacy.
For those who do post a ton on social media? I kinda envy you. You probably have a lot of good friends and are probably good at sharing your thoughts and feelings.
Sometimes it’s people like me who read those posts and can take away good advice from it, all without having to speak ourselves.
I think tomorrow I will have some cereal, and wear my Zildjan shirt and some jeans because it’s cold in my room.
I wish I had some better words to express about how I feel about this. Because of the nature of your humour on Discord—random photo of you making a cake or the usual images that you find—I feel as though you would be 'well' liked on Facebook and such. It would be an opportunity for those out of touch to get a sense of your humour and how you view your way of living. it could possibly be a means of reconnecting to a few people via comments building into a little bit more.
But I'm also glad you don't use those things as, like me, I don't feel as though I belong in that environment. That's for the more normal culture of people. Keeping to Facebook and Twitter and such sites, for various reasons, promotes drama. And drama glorifies villanairy, When people keep to a source known for promoting such a thing, you become wear of it, the people near it, for what its central cause tends to be.
It's possible that's why an eyebrow is raised for those who say they spend a little too much time on Twitter.
I think in keeping away from those spots and those people, you reduce the impulse for such things, not getting drawn into that vortex. Much like you a live the same kind of life with my phone. I have no real life contacts on there. No messages or texts really from family. Discord is my second life.
I think it's useful to write blogs like these to process your state of mind and, on finding some sort of solace or answer, to then record it. The dichotomy between social life and what we become when the call disconnects is interesting. Most people only know us as our usernames and what we present ourselves as. Getting to read something like this is refreshing.
Overall I enjoyed it.
And I hope you keep writing these blogs. I hope even more you are finding something within them for yourself that helps you in some way—even if it is mere enjoyment. I look forward to the next one homie.
~Yr. Pal B
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Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), there isn’t anyone I want to reconnect with on those sites. And I’m always on the fence of “do I want to get to know this person?” when finding someone online. Usually the answer is no.
There always seems to be drama on these platforms, mostly political and societal drama which is always two sided and no one allows room for another. I don’t engage in these or follow accounts that usually only posts on those subjects.