I’m scared. Also, I have an update on story. · 2:35am Jul 27th, 2020
I’m scared. I have no idea what the heck to do to improve my situation. Like, I’m genuinely afraid for my existence in the society that we have as humans. I have a job, a fiance, a few dogs, and a cat, even a place I ‘own’ for rent. But my fiancé was fired because she couldn’t find transportation to work, about three weeks after her parents left us our house (we rent from them). Covid-19 has affected us to the point where writing and art, things I would normally enjoy intensely, seem pointless compared to my fear and stress as a person.
I don’t want to stop creating art in any of its forms, but I’m scared. Without my fiancé having a job, we’re in debt almost $1000 every month, unable to pay for our bills to the fullest. While I might be able to pay for half of everything, I only earn so much. We do have a savings, but it dwindles every day because we realize ‘fuck, we don’t have X, so we have to go to walmart and such and get it’ costing me gasoline and energy (food I have to eat). I’ve suffered borderline poverty and homelessness my entire life and detest being homeless and hungry. It hurts me.
This is why I have a hiatus in between each chapter. I’m unmotivated and discouraged to write a new chapter because the fear and stress of every day makes me pretend to be happy just to exist. I know appearing as a pathetic fuck doesn’t get me anywhere, but I don’t know what else to do to make myself feel better and vent my frustrations helps me to not have a panic attack. This blog stuff gives me a feeling of order and stability in these trying times. Makes me feel better.
Anywho, next chapter has 143 words out of the 1500ish I wanted to write. I’m going to be writing more tonight and hopefully uploading it for you all to read so you can enjoy more of Anonny boy. Love everyone of you who’s given me the courage to keep on creating. It means the entire world to me to genuinely entertain people.
Brother. Im 15, and have not the faintest idea of how this could happen to anyone. Please be okay. I heard that Meditation can be good when under stress. Hang in there, because I don't know what else to do.
Hey. If you are at a point, where you can't do anything but wait, and have a lot of voices, stress, and uncertainty beating on your head, then I have this suggestion: listen to Sweden, of the Minecraft soundtrack. I had a physical fight with my brother once and it helped me.💙
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Life just eats away at those who were born poor, at least it does in America. I’ve put in an application for a job that will get me out of my situation, but Idk if I’ll be chosen for it. There’s 3 job openings at $18/hour for the sanitation department for the city I grew up in, but 17 other guys trying for the same position. So a 3/18 (1/6) chance of me getting the job.
I have an interview coming up tomorrow at 11 AM, so I’m hoping all goes well and I get selected. But as it stands right now, my current job doesn’t cut it. We eat into our savings every month for bills, but at least we get to eat every day.
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Best of Fortune, my dude. If you need to vent about anything, don't be afraid to make a post like this again! We are here for you, curious weirdo on the Internet, even if many of us don't know what to say, or are afraid of trying! 😃