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TheClownPrinceofCrime


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Jun
16th
2020

My Review of Transformers (2007) · 2:28am Jun 16th, 2020

Rating Scale
12/10—a complete
masterpiece; flawless and outstanding
11/10—Excellent, near-perfect film
10/10—the standard rating; awesome with a couple of flaws
9/10—a wonderful film with several flaws
8/10–a great film with numerous flaws but not enough to ruin it
7/10—a fun and entertaining movie; not great but still enjoyable
6/10—a slightly above average film; might not watch it again but still happy I watched it for the first time
5/10—mediocre movie; not awful but not great either
4/10—a below average film; it could have been much better
3/10—a bad film; poorly written and poorly executed
2/10—a very bad movie; the few good things in the movie overshadowed by the bad things
1/10—a terrible movie; a total waste of time
0/10—a worthless piece of abomination; should have never been made

********


Hey, fam! I will take a break from reviewing Batman films for a while and begin reviewing on a series that I grew up with and dearly loved ever since my childhood... Transformers. Transformers is my number one favorite franchise of all time, and I always looked upon them as the best action figures to exist. Now, allow me to tell you how I was introduced to the franchise. First off, when I was about four years old or so, my dad took me to a supermarket in NYC where I saw an aisle of Transformers toys from the Transformers: Energon toyline. I was so intrigued by them that I asked my dad if he could buy one for me. He agreed, and I had my very first Transformer toy: Starscream.

Years later, I was brought to a show called Transformers: Cybertron. It was that very show that introduced me to Transformers. I saw Optimus Prime, Jetfire, Vector Prime, Hot Shot, Megatron, Starscream, Thundercracker, and many more for the first time. I loved that show and bought several toys of the same line. They were very enjoyable to play with at that time.

One day, my parents informed me about... a live-action Transformers movie. They were so eager to see my reaction after we watched the teaser trailer on TV. After watching the trailer, I was extra-hyped and so excited like never before. Like, I couldn’t believe! A live-action Transformers movie?! That’s amazing! During the time of release, my parents bought a DVD set of the movie and decided we should watch it together in the living room. At that time, I really enjoyed it! Too bad we didn’t watch in the theaters though.

However, once I rewatched the movie several times as I got older, I started to notice the flaws it has. But what do I think of it right now? Well, let’s talk about it, shall we?

PROS:

The Autobots were great in this movie. Optimus Prime was well-written as a noble and brave leader who was so willing to sacrifice himself to protect his warriors and the humans from Megatron’s wrath. Ratchet was a little funny and lighthearted. This is actually the only movie where he had a few moments to shine as a character and had more lines of dialogue. Oh, and I love his color scheme. Ironhide was a complete badass; seriously, his toughness and inability to back down from a fight was awesome. Bumblebee was a good protector for Sam... I guess. Jazz? He was... decent at best.

The Decepticons were awesome! This is the movie where they are portrayed as ACTUAL THREATS to humanity and not complete jokes (cough, cough, TLK Decepticons cough, cough). Blackout was scary and intimidating as Megatron’s Hound; no matter what stood in his way, he would always remain steadfast and loyal to his master. You can clearly see that when he wiped out the U.S. Military base and when he reminded Starscream of who is the true leader of the Decepticons. Barricade was awesome and had an cool design, vehicle mode, and personality. Love his catchphrase. Bonecrusher was bold enough to fight against Prime himself and had an awesome design and personality. No wonder he was called “The Claw of Megatron”. Brawl was very strong and durable. It took FOUR Autobots and the military forces to take him down unlike the other Decepticons we know. Frenzy was cool and funny. Scorponok was very deadly and effective as a spy. Starscream was OP in his fights against the Autobots and the N.E.S.T soldiers. I also liked his voice here (although I honestly like his high-pitched voice better in the sequels since it reflects his character). Lastly, Megatron was the very definition of LEADER OF THE DECEPTICONS!! What happened to this version of Megatron?? Here, he submits to no one and is his own master. THAT’S Megatron! He even owned Prime and his other opponents in Mission City.

Sam Witwicky was decent in this film and so were his parents. Mikala Banes was alright I guess. I’m not a big fan of Megan Fox, but she was doing okay in her acting for this movie. Lennox, Epps, Glen, Maggie, and Agent Simmons were at their top-notch in this movie. Props to them for being both hilarious and memorable.

“Left cheek! Left cheek! Left cheek!”—Epps

“No, you shut up! Don’t talk to me! Don’t talk to me, criminal!” “I ate the whole plate... the whole plate!”—Glen

I also loved the mystery solving set-up in this movie. Our characters had to uncover each clue that leads to Project Iceman: the location of Megatron and the Allspark through the use of Captain Witwicky’s glasses.

One more thing I liked... Ebay. The glorification of Ebay.

CONS:

Now the things I hated in this film. Jazz was underdeveloped with no depth of character, yet Michael Bay expected the general audience to feel sorry for him when Megatron killed him? I cared less about his death as it had no affect on me. How is it that people love this version again? Also, Bumblebee had to speak through the radio because his voice box was broken. He could scan vehicle modes at any time he wanted to, yet that didn’t automatically fix his voice box?

Why does Sam call him a car? He is NOT a car, you idiot! He is a sentient alien robot who transforms into a car! Get it right! The romance was unnecessary, the masturbation joke was awful, Sector 7 were just a bunch of jerks, the final battle took place in a city full of INNOCENT CIVILIANS, Megatron’s design looked hideous, the ephebophilia joke by Simmons was cringe-worthy, the military got too much spotlight over the Transformers, and Bumblebee was able to speak in his real voice at the end with no explanation whatsoever!


Despite the flaws it has, it is still a good movie with nostalgic factors. A solid 7/10. Any thoughts?


Peace.

Comments ( 14 )

This movie was the thing that introduced me to the Transformers franchise, and for that I am thankful.

I think one of the weird things for the movie is the weird dramatic "slo-mo" scenes.
Like with the military guy waving for the helicopter or that lady screaming in slo-mo when Ironhide(I think) jumped over her.
It just gives off of "Ooooo look at this, this is dramatic. DRAMA" or something..
I think it was just those 2 scenes, maybe more since my memory's fuzzy on the movie.

Probably the "best" of the Bayformer movies.

5285545
That’s Michael Bay for you... :moustache:

5285548
That and the memes of him loving explosions.

5285566
And now I just imagined what if he directed the MLP movie somehow

Tempest: OPEN UP YOUR EYEEEE-
*ship just explodes because Bay movie*
Tempest: ...I was just only singing, how is that even possible??

5285577
I don't think Bay would ever agree to directing an MLP movie. In fact, the only reason why he agreed to directing the first Transformers movie was because his good friend Steven Spielberg insisted that he did so.

And why didn't Spielberg himself direct that movie? Because he was too busy directing Kingdom of the Crystal Skull at the time. Yeah, I think we all know how that turned out to be.

5285734
Good to know.

Any thoughts on this movie?

5285748
+ Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime
+ Shia LaBeouf as Sam Witwicky
+ Side Characters (Lennox, Epps, Glen, Maggie)
+ Designs of both Autobots and Decepticons
+ Action sequences (when they are shot properly)
+ Musical score by Steve Jablonsky

- Megan Fox as Mikaela Banes
- Neither Autobots nor Decepticons have much personality
- Sam's annoying parents
- Overabundance of Michael Bay clichés (explosions, government conspiracy, the invincibility of the US military, racist/sexist jokes, objectification of female characters, etc.)

Final Verdict: 6/10 (Guilty Pleasure)

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