I've made my mind up · 4:06pm Dec 11th, 2019

Welp, I think my mind's made up.

As much as I don't really like or enjoy talking about it or bringing it up, I've come to realise that a part of me in the upstairs department tells me that I'm better off on my own. I was once told by a married couple one time when I was working with my dad in their flat at their retirement home that I would be better as a single man with freedom to look forward to. They actually encouraged me to remain free, and they were genuinely nice people to work for. It was quite a pleasant experience.

I do still feel nostalgic for when I was with someone, on the part of having somebody to spend time with, as I like socialising with another being that understands me, and so on, but love is hard. Compromising doesn't always work, and the feeling of love, something I used to crave to know what it felt like, only seems dull and dreary to me now. I'm kinda repulsed by the idea at the moment, with me being the way I am and my current living arrangement. I highly doubt my mind will change in the future, but my eyes are always open to the concept if I do suddenly feel that spark again. However, I don't see that happening, in all honesty.

For those of you reading this that are in a relationship, are engaged or married, I'm both incredibly envious and happy for you. Must feel nice going the extra mile or two. Hold him / her close and don't let go. 💛