Christmas Movie Musings · 3:17am Dec 8th, 2019
You know, I love Christmas movies. Even when they're bad, I can still usually enjoy them. But, there's a question I have to ask. Can someone please explain to me how and why
*Woman falls in love with a man who turns out to secretly be Santa Claus*
Has turned into an entire freakin' subgenre of Christmas films? It's like the Christmas version of 'Twilight...'
"New Christmas Paranormal Romance"
Seriously, there's gotta be over a hundred of these films now, and if it weren't for the different actors you wouldn't be able to tell them apart, because they all follow the exact same plot point by point. Don't believe me? Check it out:
The Plot:
1: So it turns out that Santa isn't a person. It's a job, handed down to the firstborn sons of the Kringle family.
2: It's time for new Santa to take over so his dad can retire.
3: But he has to be married first, because "You can't have Christmas without a Mrs. Claus."
4: Even though new Santa is in his thirties and has known this was coming his whole life, he's still single.
5: So at the last possible moment (Never more than two weeks before Christmas) new Santa heads south to go a' courtin.'
6: New Santa arrives in Southern California. (It's ALWAYS Southern California.)
7: Chief Elf provides new Santa with a list of 'vetted Mrs Claus candidates' i.e. grown adult women who still believe in Santa.
8: This list consists entirely of ditzy airheaded California valley girl... Hmmm.... Okay, you know what? It's a list of grown women who still believe in Santa. I kinda gotta give them this one.
9: New Santa rejects the list in favor of a random woman he met moments after arriving and knows nothing about. This woman...
10: Is divorced or widowed.
11: Has a 7-12 year old son (Never a daughter, never any other age) and...
12: ...HATES Christmas due to a yuletide related childhood tragedy.
13: New Santa goes to work wooing her, and she gradually (Well, as gradually as possible with only two weeks to work with) starts to fall for him.
14: On Christmas Eve morning, New Santa proposes. Then tells her who he is.
15: She thinks he's gone mad and runs screaming.
16: Heartbroken, new Santa returns to the North Pole to try to be Santa without a missus.
17: Love interest randomly and bizarrely decides it doesn't matter if he's crazy because she loves him.
18: She goes looking, but can't find him anywhere.
19: Her son suggests "We can't find him because he's gone back to the North Pole."
20: This... ...somehow.... makes her realize he was telling the truth.
21: So she leaves a letter by the chimney begging him to come back.
22: And they live happily ever after...
I've honestly never heard of this movie. With some good actors I think it could work fairly well. It's certainly not the worst thing I've ever seen get screentime.