Coming back with a new story idea and a very very VERY loooooooooong update · 10:32am Nov 16th, 2019
So most who (Still) follow me for my only story I've done I got some good news, bad news, and a looooong update.
So the good news is that I am coming back with a fresh new story in my mind. And unlike the previous story I created that was very vague in how long it was going to go for or what was even going to happen (Even for me, at the time I was just writing it as I went along with no real plan in mind), this new story I have in mind is much better thought out and has very clearly defined chapters as well as what will be happening IN said chapters. That should be coming very soon. If possible I might even be able to get the first chapter out within 24 hours of writing this blog post.
So the bad news is that I am putting my previous Chrysalis story on an indefinite hiatus. That story was written in 2012 and looking back through it I am not entirely pleased with some things, from the writing style to some choices made during the creation of the story. Basically it's just looking back on older work you've done at a younger age and cringing at how you could be doing things differently. So sorry to the people who have been waiting for a long-awaited new chapter, but as it stands I am not pleased with the quality I put out. In the future, if there is enough support and I feel the mood to do so, I may do a total rewrite of fanfiction so it may be up to the standards I have today.
And finally the update. Strangely this one I only realized recently after talking to a friend, but it's just the fact that I've come to the realization as to why I haven't been writing as much as I should. Whilst I am not intensely into writing fanfiction as some other people are, I at least want to say there used to be a period in my life where I liked the idea of writing in an established canonical universe, and looking back I believe I've written perhaps 4-5 fanfictions in the span of 1-2 between 2010/11 to 2012, all of them set in a canonical universe of some sort. Whilst not impressive compared to other writers, to me that was a lot of writing done for someone who hadn't really written longer stories before and posted them online. (Fun fact, I actually beat Kkat in writing the first Fallout-themed My Little Pony fanfiction. That's a fact and I take pride in that ahahaha)
However, around the same time that I started writing the Chrysalis clop fiction, I started to get into online roleplaying. Or to be more specific, erotic roleplay (ERP). It was weird at first and I was a novice but over the years I started to enjoy doing ERPs more and more, and that creative drive to write a work of fiction on my own started to wane. In an ERP I get to do half the work as my roleplaying partner takes half of a load of writing, there is the fun of unexpected twists since you have no idea what your partner will be writing, and in general there was more satisfaction in sitting down in a chatroom and roleplaying in a single day versus taking several days to write, proofread, edit, and proofread the same story chapter all by yourself. Roleplaying with a partner your writing is viewed under less scrutiny since there are different expectations. An ERP is meant to be played like a game in a way where you do certain things and meet certain goals before the game is over. With fanfiction, you have a different audience (A wider one at that too) where a story is supposed to be craftily intertwined to keep stringing the reader along and to hopefully not lose their attention until the last chapter.
ERPing became a bit of an addiction to me, a desire. That feeling of an awesome high built up over hours of ERPing with someone was such a much better feeling than sitting down and methodically typing something for days on end. Some days you get that spark of inspiration and can write thousands of words, other days you only get a handful of paragraphs done. However, that pursuit of instant gratification made my creative side all across the board take a nosedive. Why sit down and do anything creative when I can roleplay and chat with friends over topics from the erotic to the fun? Why slave days or even weeks over a project from an art piece to a fan story and gamble whether or not it will receive the attention I believe it deserves when I can immediately go to people I know want my attention is given to them and they will return that love for attention back?
ERPing hasn't been entirely bad though. I've become better at typing out stories, most notably finding it really fun to describe the surroundings almost like Victor Hugo would do in Notre-Dame de Paris where he spends an ungodly gratuitous amount of time waxing over the tiniest details in the scenery. I gobble that up now, I love spending paragraphs to just describe something and set the scene as best as I can. I've also become more open-minded and in the years since 2012, I'd want to say I've not only become more accepting of other people's likes and dislikes but I've also come to find certain things I used to absolutely hate would go on to be put straight onto my favorite's listings. And through ERPing I've met some of the most amazing people that I would consider close friends to this day, even though we may be thousands of miles apart across mountains, deserts, and oceans.
However, it was recently that I was talking with a really close ERPing friend over the dismay that I haven't done any solo creative writing since 2012 and I just haven't had that spark to write. He mentioned he used to be the same too, writing dozens of stories in a year because he loved the creative writing process. But after becoming addicted to ERPing his creative energy to roleplay has been sapped and he too hadn't written anything in years past. I've made previous blog posts about being busy with life and all that, and whilst those still remain true it took me up to this point to realize the big factor of ERPing played a huge role in why I don't have that drive anymore. Back in the period between 2010 to 2012, I used to try and squeeze in writing in between working on schoolwork just to get chapters written. Didn't matter if they were good or not, I just wanted to get my ideas down. But then the ERP bug hit and I did my choices as explained previously.
Another aspect that I should talk about is how the end of the show kind of spurred me on to write. Whilst MLP is not the first universe I wrote in, it was the most influential universe I wrote in. I loved the characters, I loved the setting, and I loved reading the stories back in the day that featured these elements. Fallout Equestria, Past Sins, The Conversion Bureau, ARTICLE II, The Thessalonia Legacy, all of these stories sparked my imagination that had only previously been rivaled by Harry Potter...and THANK CELESTIA FOR THAT. Nothing against Potterheads but looking at how restricted the HP universe is compared to how open-ended MLP is, I am glad I ended up with the larger, creative fandom haha.
My Little Pony as a show had its ups and downs, most particularly during Seasons 4 to 5/6 where my favor for the show really fell and I still consider those to be some of the worst seasons of the show, but I still stuck with it. It is true if a string of episodes were "Too bad" in my opinion I'd just put MLP down for a few months before resuming, but I still stuck with it until the end. Through all the seasons, through all the Equestria Girls, through all the movies and specials, stuck all the way to the end of Season 9. And looking back on the show made me realize how influential MLP was to me creatively and how it set me on certain paths to discover other things that would become huge loves of mine (For example, through Doctor Whooves I learned what Doctor Who is and watched a ton of that show, and then through that I saw David Tennant did an interview on the show Top Gear and THAT show soon skyrocketed to the top of my favorite shows of all-time list. Or how a certain artist created some lewd fanart of the characters and one thing lead to another and I'd honestly consider that artist a very good friend of mine now.)
The welling sensation of looking back to when I first joined the fandom in 2011 (The first NEW episode I remember seeing for the first time was Over A Barrel. I joined early on compared to a vast majority who joined later) combined with seeing what had been a major cause of my creative absence being instant gratification through roleplaying kind of made me realize...hey at one point I really liked to write stories. What happened to that? I still liked to write stories, but these stories were now really only designated for one audience member, I made one person happy. But if I take up writing again, I can make many people happy at once!
This is especially important to me because as the years went on and my tastes in fetish kinks went from "Wow! Vanilla sex! This is really awesome! Nothing can top this!" to being more specific with what I liked. And that was a detriment because it meant A) I need to find a roleplay partner that has the same interests as me and B) I need to find a roleplay partner whose roleplaying standards are close to mine and C) Meet at the right time where the two of us are in the exact mood to do that exactly specific thing. The more niche or specific your fetish becomes, the harder it is to satisfy all three components at once. But with writing a story? So long as the tags and descriptions are in order, people years down the line (As seen with the Chrysalis story) can still come across it and find enjoyment in what you've written whereas an ERP is just a single one and done thing and can pretty much be forgotten in the following months. There is a certain enjoyment, no matter how to cringe a story can be, it still tickles me pink to read comments that say they loved the story and can't wait to read more. It's just the satisfaction of making something and making someone happy with it multiple times over that I realized I missed.
TL;DR Roleplaying is a cheap, easy, but fun way to write. But it sapped my solo-writing drive. And I can reach a larger audience writing versus roleplaying. Also, eat your vegetables.
Will this creative fling stay? I don't know. But I do have a plan of attack with this next story I am writing:
- Keep it short and plan it out accordingly. The Chrysalis story went on for 4 chapters but never really went anywhere and had no end in sight. If I can make obtainable goals of X chapters to meet and events A, B, and C happen in these chapters it can be a means of encouragement to finish a story since I now have set goals to meet rather than just making it up as I go.
- Write something I really feel passionate about, regardless if there is a huge audience for what I am writing. Your audience is very important to keep in mind, but what is also very important is to remember that what you are writing is something you WANT to write, not something that other people demand you write. If there is crossover in that, then that is just more a reason to continue
- Keep in mind that hard time limits don't exist. I used to freak out about trying to get the next chapter in as soon as possible, usually within the next week or so. But when I went over that time limit I'd just become discouraged and not write anymore because I already feel late. Just write at a pace I'm comfortable at and release when I feel a chapter is completed with a level of quality I can say is my own.
Anyways uh...that is all. I'll be surprised to see who reads this overly long blogpost from the ramblings of an older Brony in the coming days and weeks.
Fuck me that was therapeutic to write.
Very interesting read. I wanted to write something similar in terms of how MLP is a very influential part of me as well as, rabalings of an older brony, but I find myself drifting away from the fandom with very few threads left. I don't truly care for writing myself but reading is a passion. Reading finer and finer works is something I thoroughly enjoy and this blog post was something that interested me.
No wonder I followed you.
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Hey, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I do find it a bit disheartening myself that the fandom has shrunk quite considerably from the heydey that was 2012 to 2014/6. Especially since I remember back in 2012 as soon as you would post anything you'd just get a flurry of responses from everyone. There's been a big lack of activity I've found both on forums, image boards, and fanfiction websites and they did draw some concern to me, but honestly, that kinda makes whoever is out there reading what I got to post as stories and in my blog even more impactful. Both positive and negative, these people like yourself carry much more weight on their shoulders than they realize. A positive comment is 10x as special just as a negative downvote is 10x more disheartening.
It is understandable to feel like you are drifting away from the fandom because earnestly I have been doing so too. I stopped checking Equestria Daily at all a long time ago, I haven't read any new fanfiction (Until recently), and pretty much stayed out of episode discussions until there were no more episodes to discuss (I still enjoyed reading them after the fact though). I would lag behind the show for months on end and sometimes not continue watching until the next season premiered. Pretty much the only "Brony" tether I kept as a constant was going onto image boards (Specifically Derpibooru) and just looking at the porn. Earnestly, I say that in all honesty, that was the only constant thing I've kept up all these years. Everything else either started to lag behind or just be abandoned outright. However, even though I missed out on a HUGE chunk of when the fandom was at its peak, I feel the most passion to get back into it. Because now, as I feel it, the fandom is no longer filled with "fad" people who were only there for the Season 1 to 4 run of 2010 to 2015. The people who are left are the ones who really care the most about the show even when the show has already ended. A passionate, dedicated audience with 9 seasons, several spinoff movies and a spinoff human series, a movie, two specials, a handful of shorts, and a treasure trove of comics to work with. It's honestly one of the best times to be a writer for the fandom.
One of the things I really disliked (Even though writers couldn't help it) was when I would read stories between that 2011 to 2014/15 period that expanded upon the fiction provided. Like Fallout Equestria for example! It had a massive scope but had to build most of that out of thin air. If Fallout Equestria came out today, it'd be super amazing just because of how much there is to work with. Back then it was just ponies, zebras, griffins, and dragons but now there are whole other continents of species and lore out there that would have filled in many gaps that were stretched thin in the creation of Fallout Equestria. Writers like Kkat can't be blamed though, they had to fill in the gaps themselves and think outside the box creatively. Now that the "lore" is set in stone stories can be more consistent in a way with a lot more creative ways to write stories with so many characters and locations to choose from.
Even though I explained how Erotic Roleplaying has been a huge detriment to me creatively, I cannot deny it helped me get better at writing as well. It was through writing for roleplays did I realize I had a HUGE love for writing long descriptors and detail. Whilst this is more of a blog post than a story or roleplay, you can kind of tell what I mean as I laid out all the information I wanted to say in long, wordy paragraphs. I just like the art of explaining, if that makes sense. Just talking a lot, describing things, explaining connections, etc. I loved doing that in roleplays but honestly, it's a writing style that is better fit for stories and fanfiction over time-sensitive roleplays where your partner is waiting for a response after 20-30 minutes of writing lol
I am glad that you are following as a majority of my older viewer base from 2012 has essentially dropped off the map. I don't know if fetishized clopfiction is something you look forward to seeing, especially very specific fetishized clopfiction, but I do hope you will stay for the foreseeable future to see what I can offer to the fandom. Or at least what's left to the fandom. I just want to write what I wish to write and then hope there's someone out there that will like it too haha.
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My profile says that I am a member since 31th of January 2013 but I've been around for a half-year longer. That puts me back in my high school years, since then, I finished university and started a job. Back then I remember the fandom overflowing with ideas and a hell of a lot of positivity. The groups were all active and there was always something new to look at and read. These days I don't see much of anything new and the quantity of quality writing has decreased. Lot's of the older authors that can actually write well have moved on (SacasticBrony, Forthwith, TAW, Bucking Nonsense, MadMaxTheBlack (writes less), Fugger, Mr Stargazer, so on and so forth) and their works aren't talked about much these days. I miss how active all of them used to be. All of them going away is what is making me feel like it's time to go too.
To be honest with you, I stopped watching MLP since season five begun. I lost that spark of fascination I had back when I first started watching. I became far more cynical and I always had an opinion. When I got into university I started reading a lot of the texts that were provided to us and realized that this site isn't that great and finding quality writing is a treasure. So I don't know how much I "really care" about the people and stories here. However, maybe you are on to something, I only see two types of people around nowadays. The younger generation that just like everything and the old generation that understands the struggles of writing and usually will support you. Not too many trolls around after 2016.
You are correct that I enjoy the sexual side of MLP but lately, I want to distance myself from that and forget it even existed. Don't how long I will continue to read here hopefully I'm out soon enough. This doesn't mean that I cannot like and appreciate some of the better-written works out there but it does mean that I realize that this is more of a stain than a badge of honor. Especially when you see that I have spent far too long staring at rule 34 boards.
Then you showed up with your blog. I was quite bored and wanted to see if this blog is any good and I find myself reading some overly descriptive excerpt of some guy's life. And you know what? I liked what you have to say, so now I'm back to waiting for more and reading what you have.
I don't remember exactly when I started following you but it had to be closer to when you stopped writing. So I might as well stay around for a while longer.
Well, good luck to you and your stories. I'll be checking up on you.
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I know what you mean. Around the same time as the middle of Season 4 to about the end of Season 6 I was feeling very disingenuous about My Little Pony. I don't know if it's because I became cynical during those years or if its because the writing took a huge downturn in terms of quality (I am leaning towards the latter earnestly when I look at and remember episodes from that time range) and I don't think MLP to me really recovered. Seasons 1 to 3 were amazing, no doubt in my mind, 4 to 6 were a low point, but around seasons 7 to 9, I think the writers finally found their stride and started putting out nearly consistently good/decent episodes with the occasional hiccup here and there. Like it became somewhat bearable to watch episodes again. The only downside I've noticed myself is that with a smaller pool size the interests of the people have changed. Before even if you created something that was so nichely enjoyed you'd still find support from the small percentage of people out there who do like that niche thing you wrote about, or you just caught the attention of someone that wasn't even into the niche thing to begin with. Now that the average viewership around here has decreased, so has the pool of potential viewers into that niche thing you wrote. For example, my first story on here was a rather vanilla and broadly relatable clopfiction of making love with Chrysalis and that garnered a ton of attention in 2012 with people begging me to continue. Recently I released a more fetishized clop story that focuses in on a niche fetish and reception has been lukewarm at best or nill.
I won't be forcing you to read anything I have since it's up to you whether or not you want to read pornographic fiction based around a television show aimed at a young girl/family demographic. But hopefully, I can work on the ideas that are in my head and provide a pleasant experience. Something I've been really wanting to do, influenced heavily from my ERPing days, is create pornographic stories based around two of my all-time favorite fetishes that many would consider very niche and extremely weird. Why? Through writing the character experiences supplemented with author's notes and possible blogposts, I wish to maybe educate readers on some fetishes they never even knew existed in the first place. Right now I am currently working on a story called The Cutie Mark Crusinkers and alongside that I am also working on a currently unpublished short niche-fetishized story between Pinkie Pie and Rarity. I did searches on FiMFiction for other stories that catered to those niche, weird fetishes but the writing wasn't really up to my level of scrutiny. Events went along too quickly, there wasn't enough detail on why it felt good or even just a decent level of characterization.
Even though I am writing to a much smaller audience with a very niche subject that will reach out only to a few people directly, it's bridging that level of understanding with viewers and explaining something that they may not have understood even existed. When I was an EPing member, one of the most memorable moments would always be when I would introduce a fetish to someone who either never heard of it or disliked it outright. After using my love, passion, and enthusiasm to craft a story around that fetish rather than unskillfully jumping straight into it like other people would. The best feeling in the world would be when they would finally understand the fetish, or even outright start to like it just from the way I used it in my roleplays with my partners versus how other people sloppily executed them.
That's my hope at least. I want to create fetish-centric stories because that's what I like, but try to hold them up to a level of scrutiny where they can hopefully still be enjoyed by someone who doesn't have that fetish by working with characters, setting, and story to make them interesting. And if you stick around for them I hope you will enjoy your time too. In fact, one of the upcoming Pinkie Pie/Rarity stories I have in mind is going to be centered around a fetish that can actually have a very non-sexual tone to them. Most fetishes need some sort of sexual intercourse to remain relevant, but there are a few that are "technically" safe for work given the nature of said fetish hah. Anyways, enjoy the ride for as long as you are staying :)