Review on the Season 3 premere. · 8:52pm Nov 11th, 2012

Hello, I'm storiesatrandom, i remember it, so you don't have to. I know that i used that on the riffs ADOZEN times before, but it's a trademark. anywho, on youtube, i was able to get a look at the season 3 premere episode of MLP:FIM, and it was awesome! however, i do have, some nitpicks on it... Not too harsh or marring, it was still AWESOMELY EPIC! i just wanna say somethings i think there were some things missing that would've helped it become even more epic. otherwise i liked it, it's that it was, alot different then i was expecting, really differnet then i was expecting, for one, i didn't expect Princess Candence and Shining Armor to come back, and i most certainly, did NOT see who saved the day coming! also, i felt that the new villain, wasn't able to really shine, or, shadowfy as a one, he didn't even had alot of lines and wasn't able to do stinking much expect be evil, imtimidating, and basicly rip-off Hexxus with that shadow monster god thing!

though then again, this isn't the first time the forth generation MLP villains copy other media established villains,

Nightmare Moon is a horse verson of Maleficent,

There's talk that Discord is an awful like the Star Trek villain Q,

And we sure has hell know Queen Chrysalis stole Ursula's idea to steal the canterlot wedding! so it's not much of a surprise.

but still, it was awesome, and we're going to talk about it. So, let's dive right into, the Season 3 episodes 1 and 2. Seriously, they're still doing the big event episodes BY TWO PARTS!? then again, these kind of villains are tough to defeat, so it's understandable. i must warn you that there will be spoilers if you didn't see the episode yet, but that's why i posted this video for you to watch before i get reviewing, also to used as to what the hell am i talking about!

the first episode opens with the canterlot castle where the beloved Celestia lives, as she.... is doing paper work. Well, that confirms every Celestia fanfiction that as a princess, she not only protects Equestia, she also has to goverment work, but she doesn't look like she has a problem with it.
just then, a generic guard comes in (trust me, they never redesign guards outside of brown unicorn and white pegisis, aside from brief oneshots from episodes past) as he came to inform Celestia that- WHOA! HE TOOK OFF HIS HELMET! AND HE LOOKS, less generic actselly. it sucks we won't see him again outside of whatever fanfiction ever comes forth. anyway, the first and sadly won't be seen again not so generic guard warns Celestia that "IT" has returned.... Oh no, don't tell me the new villain is a Steven Hawkings monster!

THE EPISODE WILL FLOUT!

not to mention end with an anti-climatic ending and a disappointing pay-off! relax, it's not THAT kind of IT, but the way Celestia reacted when the guard said "IT has returned really had a reaction out of her, like she has faced a sadistic, clown impersonating monster in her life. i am sure copyright laws and the fact this is a kids show prevents the possbility of a horror movie villain from appearing.... but i have no doubt there's gonna be fanfiction on this!

anyway, Celestia orders the guards to find Princess Candence and Shining Arm- wait, the characters from the season 2 finales are back? well, i thought they were gonna become oneshots. the show always had a history of throwing great characters at us, but they usually never bring them back. while i admit i am, neutrol on the characters, at least they finally deside to make someone ELSE recurring characters! anyway, the guards obey, as Celestia, alcourse, writes a latter to summon forth the mane 6, and then....the intro theme appears. and it's argueabley the same, i really don't see much of a difference here. Hasbro, you need to spice the intro thing, STAT!

so we finally enter in Twilight's house, where we see Twilight freaking out, like she already did in the last, past episodes! nice choice of a hero, Hasbro. Nice choice. her episodes never get old though, even to Applejack who is like nodding her head like she seen this before, and maybe that it's cute when she's crazy. Twilight brings out the BIGGEST DAMN BOOK OF ALL OF EQUESTIA, and i hope unintentionally crsuhes Spike with it, fortunenately, since this a cartoon, Spike made it out ok, more or less. then Twilight went to get flash cards, and wants Spike to quiz her on all things she had learn, then said that isn't gonna be enough cards. But what else did you learn outside what we seen in the episodes? is that, a nod of all the fanfiction adventures? if so, i am surprise Hasbro still ecknowleagde us dispite the, derpy insodent.

to avoid salt in an old wound, i better just continue.

Spike asked Twilight to calm down, and that it's just a test, and Twilight, didn't took it too well... or AT ALL! It's because Celestia wants her to come to give her some kind of exam and Spike wants her to chill because it's just a test, and she is losing it, causing Spike to wear pellow armor and an army helmet, said yes, and Twilight really lost it so much, she blasted her libary house tree out of the ground!

Logic, what is that?

anyway, we cut back to Canterlot, where Celestia and... Luna? Well, nice to see Hasbro realised the undying devotion of Luna fans and brought her back again, and in daytime.
anywho, Luna asked if she can come as well, and Celestia insisted that Candence and Shining Armor will be enough... well, i guess Hasbro doesn't want us to push our luck. makes sense, cause this isn't our fanfiction, people!
anyway again, Luna said the empire's magic is powerful, and they cannot fall again! whoa, the way you say that, it sounds like this, "Empire" is a threat! oh my god, they're being invaded by the star wars empire!

Stormtrooper: "Alright boys, EQUESTIA WILL BE OURS!"

kidding again, it's NOT that empire, but the way Luna said it sound like Equestia is at war with these guys. anyway, Celestia insisted that Twilight will succeed in, whatever is going on right now, and when she does, she'll be ready for... something. what is it? well, spoiler alert, she'll be ready to advance ferther into her friendship studies. so basicly, the same stuff that, already exsits.

so then, Twilight comes in and expects this to be a study test, but Celestia informed her that it's a very different kind of test, and said the cristail empire has returned, and Twilight was dispaired, cause she didn't studied, and there's nothing in the books about it, and Celestia said that there wouldn't be, because she doesn't remember it was real in the first place.

EXBOSITION TIME!

she brings out a cristail and explains that even her knowlegde of the empire is not very vast, and that is bad if an all knowing goddless knows little to shit about this one! she uses her magic to revil, a minture re-creation of the forementioned empire, and, as the name offers, it's made of cristail, why, even it's ponies are sparkling! Celestia explains that our villain, King Sombra, an evil shaodwy unicorn who has a black heart, took over the cristail empire, and my god, he is BADASS! thing is, unlike Discord, Queen Chrysalis, and even fucking Nightmare Moon, he appears to be, the strong silent type. he is more, a seen, but not heard kinda guy. he only has very few lines, and yet he still proves to be badass and imtimidating, he's like sauron,

He didn't have much to say either, but he was badass too, reguardless of being quickly defeated, but came back a giant, firey eye! that's badass like a boss yo!

anyway, like the foremention evil overlord, King Sombra was quickly dispatched by Celestia and Luna, and turned into a shadow! and man, even when defeated, he is still badass, even as a shadow monster, he's badass! he even made his own defeat and fall, badass and epic! he even went to complete monster terrortory by placing a curse on the city to make it disappear! the basturd! if the empire has hope and love, the same things are shown to all of equestia, but the exact opisite of those things and- JESUS! My god Celestia, i didn't know you could do that! oh god, Hasbro had better NOT make this canon!

Twilight feels uncertain to actselly protact an entire empire, i mean, can you blame her, she's going up against the love child of Hexxus and Sauron in pony form, with the powers of dark cristail! this is easily the most dangerious villain yet, and your best defence is a nerd, a party-holtic, a fastionista, a country bumkin, a fear induse coward, and a wonderbolts wanna-be. at least Candence and Shining Armor might actselly prove a challnage, since they defeated Chrysalis!
Celestia assured her she won't be able to fail this. Wow, good to know an all powerful goddess has great faith in you, you know you have it good if a god can trust you to do the most seemingly impossable task, exspically if you done the impossable before.already, Celestia sends her on her way and saids her friends will join her as well. reguardless, Twilight still has doubt, cause, well, this is still big, protacting an entire empire from a malvolient spirit is a damn big job to pull off. it made Spike concern to the point he thought she failed the test, only to learn it's something very much different, way differnet, and she does it, in song. she sings on how she wasn't prepared for this. and that's it, that she didn't prepared for it.

simplist hero song, EVAH!

after the good, but still big lipped aligater moment song-

oh come on, face it, reguardless of having good moments, a rememberable song, and a NOT mary sue character singing it, and not singing she wants more, it came out of nowhere. it's good, but there's not much reason aside she wasn't set up for it, and it was never mentioned again. then again to be fair, alot of songs in the series past came from nowhere, and weren't talked about again AT ALL! still, since the songs can be good, we don't really much care that they most of the time, have little ryame and reason.
anyway, after the song, before Spike can be answered for what she wasn't prepared for, her friends came, including the ever crazy Pinkie Pie, who wants to celibrate her awesomeness, but before the confetti comes out, Twilight said not yet, and somehow the confetti goes back in as she falls down.

Pinkie was never the one to make sense.

Twilight saids they will be going to the cristail empire, which caused confusion, and then, we suddenly get blacked.

AW, DAMN COMMERSAL BREAKS!

we cut to the train in the snow, where our heroines.... and Spike, arrive at their destination and meet up with Shining Armor, who is glad to see Twilight again, but also warns her that the cristail empire's not the only thing back. as i explained, it's our villain, King Sombra, the pony result of if lord of the rings is mixed with the last ferngully with a touch of ponty in it. and as they venture out, guess who comes forth, said villain, and even more badass as ever, and they make a run for it, realistic cause fighting a thing like that is dangerious! not unless you have a keyblade.
as they make a run for it, Shining Armor stops and prepares to give his life for the team! oh my god! he is gonna be the first canon character to die in canon, and not in some fanfic, this will change the course of fanon forever, and this episode will become dramatic, as we will be lead to the most climatic showdown between good and evil, and for the honor of Shining Arm- or he's gonna turned out to be fine?!

Well, Hasbro, you blew your chance to make this season premere very dramatic and emotional by having Shining coming out of there, alive! now there won't be any personal conflict with Twilight and Sombra, no ultamate conflict, no stronger character defeliment! i know this is meant for little girls and you don't wanna make them cry with a character death, but come on, do something for your brony fans too! a shadow monster isn't just something you can survive from, HASBRO!

Shining however, did had his magic spell-bounded by dark rocks on his horn, a very cheap replacement on actsual death! but still, the city is magifisent, and Rarity is certainly head over heels for it! trust me folks, we're gonna get ALOT of that in this picture. we then come torwords Princess Candence who is like a struggling shield generater for the city to prevent it from being congured by Sombra. the reunion cound't be more cheerful, byut that quickly goes away when they seen candence almost lose it the shield almost was lost! Candence joked that they need to get togather when Equestia isn't in danger. HAHA, THERE'S A GREAT EVIL AFTER US!
seriously that was poor timing.
Candence is appearently getting tired being a 24-7 protection for an entire city against a great evil. oh, way to discredit alicorns even more, hasbro! Celestia alone has it bad already! if the magic fades, Sombra comes forth!

my got, this is getting epic.

the mane 6 offer to help by going to the cristail ponies, to the over excitment to Rarity, followed by an awkword comedy moment. again, what happen to taking deadly dishasters seriously?

anyway, Twilight mistakes this as a resherch quest, and quickly becomes happy. but there is a problem: the cristail ponies are fucking downers! every single one of them, more depressed then a goth! it's like, life is pointless without some sort of perpose!

after some failed attempts to win over this downers, they found that this place has a libary, to Twilight's twatty excitment! now's is not a good time to go goo-goo ga-ga for books, Twi, there's an evil overlord out there!! but then again, it might hold impourent infomation about the town's history. and the place has more books then the beast's private libary in beauty then the beast, i mean, damn that's alot of books, and Twilight is like she died and gone to her idea of heaven.

they meet the libarian who works here... problem is, she, is pretty damn useless too, she's not even sure she works here.

honestly, this libarian character is a TWAT! even Homer simpson won't be this dumb!

cause of it, they have to deal with this themselfs, and after a screahing montage, they finally found it, and after another damn blackout, Twilight returns to her brother, and revels that the secret to save the day, is the cristail fair. appearently, the first queen made the fair to protact it from harm by keeping people happy.....

i'm sorry, i know this series weaponises friendship and love, but, a fair to stop a monsterious shadow king? Hasbro, you really seem to booting out logic alot, even if it is suppose to teach little girls the impourence of friendship.

Twilight and her friends went off to make the fair happen, and do this... by another song... plus-side, there's only three songs, the first one, which was Twilight worrying about not being prepared, this sone, about making the fair, and the final one, basicly a reprhase of not prepared for this, but remove not. anyway, after the song, they discover why the fair supposingly defects harm, yet another big powerful talisment called the cristail heart. they then proceed to summon up the cristail ponies with Pinkie pie making a racket!

GAH! MY EARS!

Pinkie: "Hee-hee, my bad, hee-hee."

Oh thanks alot, i have hearing ploblems now!

anyway, they summoned the cristail ponies, and they come to the fair, and quickly they turn from downers to cheery folk! now, it actselly works. Though Rainbow may had over-done it and scared one of them away. nice, at least if you become a wonderbolt, fans may only want to observe you, from a respectable desdence.

then two of them remembered the cristail heart and so did the libatian, and explained it's great impourence, so impourent, that a knock-off can't take it's place, because everyone though King Sombra hid it away for good. oh fuck, the fair's done for unless the real deal is present. turns out, he may had been respondsable of a missing page, and candence is begining to lose power. after a close call, Twilight goes forth to find teh cristail heart, while Shining stays with Candence, her friends entrusted keeping everyone distracted and away from the fake cristail heart, while Twilight and, to her relucence, Spike, to go forth to the castle (but weren't they just there?) and get the cristail heart. she figured because he was so maliscious, no one would be stupid enough to look into his palace. considered he enslaved them, it might have been effective.

after Rainbow Dash goes full on dash mode, Applejack requested to start up the jousting toriment, to dashies' daring pleasure. she drags Fluttershy into jousting, (oh, this will end well) as Applejack prevents some cristail ponies from getting curious. in the castle, Twilight and spike looked everywhere for cristail heart, untill Twilight realised that King Zombra had a castle within a castle (sneaky basturd) and made their way torwords the inner palace. at least, Twilight does. Twilight encounters a door when-

(intermission interupted. Mom needed the computer, so i am putting the review on hold. i'll be resuming this soon enough.)

intermission ended, mom is done. moving on.

as i was saying, twilight encounters a door when she tried to get close it, it became a dick and moved away from her, and everytime she got close, it just moved away! man, who know doors are dicks!

she finally managed to capture the fucker of the door, only, it wasn't an ordenary dick door. it was a dick door of fear! in Twilight's case, a fear door might not be good, cause as easily predicted, she faces her worse fear, as well as mine in a tecnecality: Celestia being a bitch! oh don't act surpirse, i wrote some fanfics insulting anti-celestia memes! if you fans of me, you might be aware of this by now. anyway, thankfully as mentioned, it was just anotehr Twilight worse case senario, then spike intersets, briefly gets influence by the door, but Twilight saved him and assured him that she'll never let him go, and that sending him away is a fear never coming to pass... good to hear, expect, there's this fan video that might discourage such a thing. sadly, he won't be a baby dragon forever, and the Spike's birthday episode proved it. one of these days... (sigh), something like this will have to come to past.

(sigh), i am not an emotionless robot, but i do have a review to do.
(clears throt.)
anyway, Twilight uses good magic to open the door, and leads to..... more stairs.
yeah, i can see why Po from Kung-fu Panda considers them his enemy.

meanwhile, Candence is still struggling, and King Sombra is never anymore happier that his revenge is acoming near, and regrows his horn, cause earlier before he lost it tried to break in. also, his evil magic started to sweep torwords the land, as Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy... still have the jousting toriment.... oh, because that is SO impourent!

after the toriment, the dark magic is approuching, but then we suddenly cut back to Twilight! awkword timing.

the stairs prove too much, so, they fucked the laws of physics and slide on the under-side of the stairs because of anti-gravity spell!

i know this a world of magical ponies, but, that still doesn't make sense! then again, maybe sense this is a world of ponies, human logic guidelines have no known place here!

meanwhile, thanks to Pinkie's bumbling, the fake cristail heart is reveled, the cristail ponies see the dark magic and knew that means KING SOMBRA IS BACK, BITCHES!
fortunatly, Twilight is closer then ever to the REAL cristail heart! but just when Twilight was about to get it, BOOM! Equestian sytile sceruity system! Twilight is trapped and.... here comes my BIGGEST nitpick of all, Spikeis the one to has to give the cristail heart to Candence!

nothing against Spike, in fact, he is a great little dragon and comical relief character, but, realing on him to save the day? thatlike's Mario allowing Luigi to fight bowser, or DK letting Diddy fight K Rool, or even, Batman letting Robin driving the bad moble! the idea of letting side-kicks save the day is ill-advised! they usually tend to be defeated rather quickly! so, reguardless of better judgement, Spike goes forth as the mane 5 of the 6 try to bring the crowd into the calm, but that goes away when Candence's magic finally fails and King Sombra comes forth!

and then, the side-kick comes to the rescue! admitingly, he is doing a decent job and is actselly brave here, more or less. He gets everyone's attention he has teh cristail heart, AND i do mean EVERYONE because now King Sombra knows you have it too, spike you cute little twat!

cause of that, now King Sambra is after spike! Spike falls down as Sombra comes after him, Shining Armor awakes Candence, as the heart and spike are about to meet a very angry monster pony! oh my god, it's gonna be close, will candence make it in ti- AND SHE DOES! it pays when your husband has the musle to throw you like a fucking air plane!

so the cristail ponies united, powered the cristail heart, and King Sombra gets destroyed in the most surprisingly volient and epic way possable: he blows into pieces! will the gorefic writers be happy. and what a victory tis was.

they left and returned to esquestia, and even though Twilight wasn't directly the one who saved the day, she is still a hero who masterminded it, and was rewarded for it. as we are treated with the formentioned reprhased like i said. thus signing off a great episode.... dispite obvious flaws.

and this episode was like, a flawed diamond, it's still beautiful, but still has something to prevent from sheer perfection. the villain didn't had alot of lines, it wasn't anything like i expected, the mane 5 of the 6 didn't do alot, and it felt like it was intended to be a movie, but they were afraid that guy who ruined transformers wanted in on it so they dumbed it down to become a 2 part episode! it missed some key moments to become dramitic and there is still much gravely unanswered, like WHY THE HELL WOULD SOMBAR WANT TO ENSLAVE THE CRISTAIL PONIES IN THE FIRST PLACE! and who's gonna be the new leader now? but still, it was a fun and great way to kick off season 3, Sombar, dispite focusing more on the badass factor then actselly establising his character and motives more is, well, bad ass, it's great to see Hasbro started to practice bring past characters back with Candence and Shining, and i heard rumors they're gonna do the same with Trixie in a future episode, but i am not holding my breath, that was promised in the long passed 2nd season and it didn't happen. I'm storiesatrandom, i rmemebered so you don't have to.

P.S.: reguardless of the small flaws, i recimend seeing this episode.

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