• Member Since 22nd Apr, 2017
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tomhur


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  • 156 weeks
    Brave Review.

    What can be said about Pixar that hasn’t been said already? They've become one of the most beloved film companies in the world and have made some of the best movies of all time animated or otherwise.

    However...they have had their screw-ups like any good company.

    Read More

    0 comments · 330 views
  • 176 weeks
    Thomas and the Magic Railroad review

    Hey, guys and welcome to another installment of Tom’s reviews.

    This is one I’ve been wanting to do for a while.

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    0 comments · 755 views
  • 194 weeks
    Disney's Descendants 3 Review

    Well, it’s that time again. Time to rip apart the last Descendant’s Movie. Descendants 3.

    I’ve already done reviews of the first two films so please read those firsts before reading this review because I don’t feel like reexplaining all the context.

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    1 comments · 260 views
  • 204 weeks
    Bright Review

    WARNING. The following review contains discussions of racism by a guy who freely admits he has a very sheltered view of the world so he may screw up discussing it. If he does screw up, he does not mind correction of his views but he would prefer it to be done in a calm and rational manner. If you are triggered by discussions of racism, please find another journal to read.

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    3 comments · 399 views
  • 214 weeks
    Disney's Descendants 2 review

    Okay, so, a while back, I took a look at the Disney Channel Original Movie Descendants. It sucked. It was full of wasted ideas, generic teen drama instead of an interesting plot, writers not thinking through their implications, and felt less like the people at Disney wanted to tell a story about the next generation of Disney characters and more like a committee wanted to make the Disney

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    1 comments · 400 views
Jul
13th
2019

Descendents Review. · 1:33am Jul 13th, 2019

Hey everyone. I know this isn't Pony related but I felt like posting a written review for the Disney Channel Original movie "Descendents" I wrote for fun a while back. Please enjoy.

So……You know what I hate more than a bad movie? A bad movie...with an AMAZING premise...this is the movie I think of when I think wasted premise. This is Descendants.

Descendants is essentially Disney’s answer to the popular “Monster High” and “Ever After High” franchises. I haven’t seen much from either of them but they look perfectly fine from what I’ve seen. THIS film, on the other hand, isn’t perfectly fine. The second you see who the director is, that should be apparent; it’s Kenny Ortega. The same guy who did the High School Musical films from what I understand. Supposedly, the movie wasn’t even GOING to be a musical at first. it got reworked into one once he signed on as director.

However, before we begin I think I should address the Elephant in the room. Cameron Boyce the actor who played Carlos in this film tragically passed away in his sleep at the ripe old age of 20. I’m not really familiar with his work but it’s always tragic when someone so young dies and my sympathies go out to his family and friends. I bring this up right now so you know that whenever I make fun of the character Carlos in this film I want you to know I’m making fun of the character and not the actor. I actually don’t have a problem with Cameron’s acting in this film I think he did a good job with what he was given believe it or not.

But okay, with that being said, let's dive into exactly why this is such a bad movie. This. Is. Disney’s Descendants.

So we start off with our title card- Is that an iPad?! …Okay, never mind. We get our title card, then we get introduced to our setting.

We get some “witty” narration from our main character Mal (more on her in a bit). Apparently, 20 years ago, Belle and the Beast got married and, “instead of a honeymoon,'' did… some kinda spell to unite “all the kingdoms” (AKA every Disney franchise) into one kingdom and the latter got himself elected as King of the “United States of Auradon”...wait, kings aren’t elected! Oh and apparently, he imprisoned all the villains in a place called “Isle of the Lost” where there’s no magic.

Okay, we’re not 10 minutes into this film and already we got major problems. Namely with the set-up.

For starters: “United States of Auradon”? Shouldn’t that be “United Kingdom of Auradon”? I mean, this is a monarchy, right?

Secondly: So, according to the tie-in books (yes, this series has tie-in books), apparently, the spell that united the kingdoms also brought all the dead villains back to life… WILLINGLY! And they just threw them into a ghetto. Like… why would you even DO that? Why would you bring them back just to put them into glorified prison!? And then condemn their kids to the same? So much for being the good guys.

Third: NONE of the sequels and spin-off TV series are canon in this. Okay, look, Disney, I get the direct-to-video sequel period was a really embarrassing time for you but I feel like just plain “canon discontinuing” them isn’t really the answer here. Sure, a lot of them were lackluster but the IDEAS in them could actually help add something to this setting. Heck, you could take advantage of this and probably improve on the good ideas the sequels had. It’s called, “reimagining the artifact”. This whole “calling canon discontinuity to the sequels” thing is especially conspicuous because the entire premise is “children of Disney characters” and they excluded Ariel's daughter Melody who would have fit perfectly.

Fourth: Why are Prince Adam and Belle the “big goods” in this universe? Wouldn’t Cinderella and Prince Charming make more sense? I mean, their castle is Disney’s very logo!

Fifth, and this is the one I take the most issue with: WHERE ARE THE ANIMAL CHARACTERS?! Seriously, as far as I can tell, aside from some off-handed mentions of the Dalmatians, they never are shown and it is never explained as to what happened to them. Where’s Pongo? Where’s Dumbo? Where’s Simba? Where’s Bambi? I don’t know! I get that this thing was made on a TV budget so they probably couldn’t afford to have exotic animals on set but COME ON!

Anyway, our first scene is. Prince Adam and Belle’s son Ben getting ready for his day. Adam and Belle walk in OH GOD, THE DIALOGUE IS AWFUL! Apparently, Ben is becoming King- WHAT!? Didn’t we just establish like a minute ago that Kings are elected in this universe? And why is Ben inheriting the throne exactly? His parents look just fine and from the way Adam is talking, he isn't quite ready to hand the throne down yet and doesn’t think Ben is ready at the age of 16.

Anyway, Ben says he has his first royal proclamation. He wants to start an outreach program for the kids of the various villains in the ghetto because they shouldn’t have to pay for their parents’ crimes…why didn’t someone think of that before? And Adam… doesn't like the idea… our heroes, everybody. Ben says he wants to start with a trial run with the kids of Jafar, Queen Grimhilde (The Evil Queen from Snow White), Cruella De Vil and Maleficent. Adam blows his top because Maleficent is the evilest villain in all the land but Ben insists and Adam and Belle reluctantly concede.

We then cut to the Isle of the Lost where we get our first musical number that doubles as an introduction to our four main characters. Jay, son of Jafar; Evie, daughter of Queen Grimhilde; Carlos, son of Cruella De Vil; and Mal, daughter of Maleficent.

The first song is “Rotten to the Core”, which is some kinda techno-electric song. It’s...not bad but, at the same time, it’s not great either. It’s just kinda senseless and lame. It basically consists of the villain kids singing about how “it’s good to be bad”.

The song ends with Mal literally taking candy from a baby when Maleficent shows up and congratulates her daughter for doing so. And… okay… this isn’t Maleficent. Maleficent in Sleeping Beauty was cold and intimidating… THIS Maleficent is an over-the-top Power Rangers villain! Character Assassination at its finest, folks. Anyway, it's clear from the dialogue that Maleficent is training Mal to be… evil. Subtle.

Maleficent tells the kids that they’ve been chosen to go to school in Auradon. Maleficent, being the top villain, tells them this is a golden opportunity to steal the Fairy Godmother's wand and use it to let the villains escape and orders them to go get it. The kids are reluctant to leave home but Maleficent uses the power of peer pressure and a… staring contest with Mal to convince her.

We then get a look into the four kids, personality-wise, as well as their relationship to each of their parents. Carlos is a momma’s boy whose mother has taught him that all dogs are evil, Jay’s a goofball street thief who steals items for his father Jafar’s shop and Jafar has taught him to look out for himself, Evie is the...girl…yeah, seriously, that’s the best I can describe her. She’s interested in girl things and she wants to marry a prince under the advice of her mom, And Mal is the perky goth who’s desperate for approval and wants to live up to her mom.

Okay, issues with the villains’ portrayals right away.

First off: Why is Jafar a street vendor who steals his merchandise?! He was a slimy, slippery manipulator and advisor in Aladdin. Also, they clearly didn’t even bother getting his actor to look like him. In a GOOD movie, Jafar would be visibly ashamed of how far he’s fallen and it’d be played for ironic laughs that he’s basically just like Aladdin, his nemesis, now.

Second: Cruella’s characterization is fine but… I dunno if this makes me sound racist but I have… issues with making her black. I thought part of the point of Cruella’s creepy appearance was due to her pale white skin. Making her black kinda lessens the effect. Furthermore, WHY IS SHE HERE?! She’s not some evil sorcerer or anything, she’s a fashion designer who tried to kidnap and skin dogs! And remember what I said about the animal characters not even being alluded to? Well, this is really where it bites the film in the ass because in 101 Dalmatians… I don’t think anyone was really aware of what Cruella did EXCEPT for the animals! So why was she lumped in with all the other villains? I mean, yeah, in the original 101 Dalmatians book, she was arrested but this isn’t the book (incidentally, the movie kinda missed a golden opportunity for a mythology gag by not having Cruella’s husband from the book show up). I mean, yes, from a marketing perspective, it makes sense but there needs to be a proper in-universe reason.

Maleficent gives a speech about “revenge” and how they will have “payback” and… URG, I know I already mentioned how off Maleficent’s portrayal was but it bears repeating. Maleficent should be cold and intimidating. Not over the top and bubbly!.

Anyway, before the kids leave, Evil Queen gives Evie a miniature version of the Magic Mirror and Maleficent gives Mal a spell book. The kids get in… a limo… a modern day limo… 

Okay, I might as well address this. The movie seems to operate on this weird combination of fantasy and modern day. Normally, I’d be fine with it… except for one thing. Um… NONE OF THE CLASSIC DISNEY MOVIES TAKE PLACE IN MODERN DAY!!! Where is the modern tech coming from!? Wreck-It Ralph?

The kids get in the limo… and Carlos and Jay immediately start fighting over the sweets… look, I know this movie is aimed at 8-year-olds but that doesn’t mean your high school characters should act like they’re 8! So they arrive at their destination: Auradon Prep… and Carlos and Jay almost immediately make complete asses of themselves fighting over something they found in the limo. Way to make a great first impression for your new classmates guys…

Anyway, they’re greeted by Ben and his girlfriend Audrey, the daughter of Aurora… and… she’s, as TV Tropes would put it, “Ambiguously Brown” and looks nothing like Aurora OR Phillip… I'll get back to this later. They’re also greeted by Fairy Godmother, the headmistress of the school …okay! Can we give these characters actual names instead of vague titles? I know “Evil Queen” “The Beast” and “Fairy Godmother” weren’t named in the original movies but it’s just awkward to refer to them as those titles as if they were their real names. Especially The Beast because he’s… not a beast anymore! That’s why I was calling him his generally accepted “real” name of Prince Adam earlier.

Speaking of awkward, the meeting between the villain kids and Ben, Audrey and Fairy Godmother is all kinds of awkward. Especially when Ben flubs his greeting to the villain kids and Audrey reveals her parentage to Mal and the two give some passive-aggressive insults to each other not only because of their families' history but because Mal showed some interest in Ben.

Ben directs them to Doug, son of Dopey, the local nerd kid who is for some reason NOT a dwarf who clearly gets a crush on Evie and… okay, why do all these characters have to introduce themselves by mentioning their parents? I get that there needs to be an explanation to the audience but in-universe, it makes it look like no one cares about someone unless they know what beloved Disney franchise they’re attached to. It also kinda undermines the message of “you aren’t defined by your parents.”

Doug shows them to their dorms and that night, the four go to the museum of cultural history in an attempt to steal the wand. We get a brief scene of the villain kids seeing the spinning wheel that Maleficent used in Sleeping Beauty and Mal uses a spell to mind control the guard into pricking his finger and falling asleep. Um… correct me if I’m wrong but I thought the way the spell worked in Sleeping Beauty was that it was Aurora specifically who had to prick her finger and it would only work FOR her. Plus, that’s gonna be an awkward conversation in the morning.

“Okay, who’s gonna wake him up?”

The guards look between each other.

".... not it."

"Not i-DAMMIT!"

The villain kids find a room with statues of their parents and find to their shock that… their parents who talk about being evil and were imprisoned for being evil… ARE SEEN AS THE BAD GUYS! Evie, Jay, and Carlos shrug it off and walk off but Mal seems a lot more devastated that her mother who she clearly idolized is evil and starts to feel conflicted. And what better way to express this… than in song form! It’s time for our second number as the Maleficent statue comes to life- Hey, wait a minute! I thought magic didn’t work on the isle of the lost! How is she able to do that? …Okay, anyway, the statue comes to life and we get our next musical number. Unlike the first one, which was passable, this one…I dunno it just feels and sounds out of place. Also, it’s pretty clear this was supposed to star all four kids and their parents judging from how big the set is and the fact the other statues are here but only Mal and her mother sing. I’m guessing the fact Kristen Chenoweth was cast as Maleficent had something to do with it.

Evie returns to Mal, telling her she found the wand. Mal meets up with the others and they find the wand in a protective barrier. Jay tries to nab it but fails and the alarm goes off, waking the guard. So I guess they won’t be having that awkward conversation in the morning. The villain kids barely escape, realizing they need to rework their plan.

The next day, the villain kids are being given multiple choice lessons by Fairy Godmother to teach them to be good… very condescending lessons that are so easy, a kindergartener could solve them… Oh and Evie shows she’s an idiot by asking what one of the options was… EVEN THOUGH IT’S WRITTEN ON THE BOARD!

Fairy Godmother’s incredibly shy and insecure daughter Jane shows up and Mal gets hit with inspiration.

The next half of this movie is basically spent alternating between the four villain kids as they each have their own subplot. So we’re gonna cover them each in one go for clarity.

I’m gonna talk about Carlos’s subplot first because it’s the one I find the least interesting. Carlos, while practicing his sprints, gets chased by a dog. The dog turns out to be Dude, the school’s mascot. Carlos is freaked out at first but Ben helps him see that dogs can be friendly. It’s alright as a subplot but the thing that kinda ruins it is, well...why is the dog not a dalmatian? I mean, it really would have been a lot more meaningful and funny if it was. I know dalmatians aren’t the most common breed of dog but I don’t think it would have been THAT hard to get one.

Jay’s subplot consists of him finding out he’s a natural at Auradon’s local made-up sport tourney, which is basically a combination of baseball, lacrosse, and soccer (which, admittedly, does look pretty fun to play if impractical). This gets the coach's attention and he invites Jay to join the team but Jay, having always been a “look out for number one” kinda guy, is reluctant yet ultimately agrees with some persuasion. At the big tourney game (more on that in a minute), Jay ends up winning MVP.

Evie’s subplot involves her getting a crush on Cinderella’s son, Jerk Jock Chad-…Okay, brief interlude. I can’t be the ONLY one who feels uncomfortable with the fact Cinderella and Aurora’s kids are the local bullies, can I? Considering the kind of people Aurora and Cinderella were, I don’t buy they would let their kids turn out like this…ESPECIALLY Cinderella, considering her own parental issues.

Anyway, Evie gets a crush on Chad but he doesn’t seem interested until Evie uses her mirror to cheat her way through class. Chad meets with Evie under the bleachers after class and manipulates Evie into doing his homework for him. Doug shows up and we get one of the few funny scenes in the film.

Evie: “Are you stalking me?”

Doug: “Technically… yeah.”

After a few minutes of nothing on this plot because of stuff that happened at the big tourney game (more on that in a minute), Chad rats out Evie for cheating. Doug sticks up for Evie and convinces the teacher to let her take the test fairly. And, shocker, she passes. And gets some ship tease with Doug.

Before I get into Mal’s plot, which is essentially the main plot, I wanna discuss the big problem with Jay, Carlos and Evie’s subplots. You may have noticed when I wrote them down that they seemed rather… bare bones. Well, that’s because they are. They feel very rushed and there’s really no significant character development. It kinda feels like Descendants was originally intended to be a TV series but it ended up getting squished into a movie because the way the sub-plots are structured feels episodic. Hell, I think it actually might have worked BETTER as a TV series.

But whatever, let’s get onto Mal’s subplot AKA the main plot.

It starts with Ben talking with Chad and Audrey with Audrey not so subtly insulting the villain kids in front of him. Audrey even passive aggressive insults Ben for sticking up for them...even though Ben is her boyfriend. Great, movie, now you’re making me ROOT for the supposed villains… Ben goes to talk to Mal but Mal gets distracted by Jane and follows her into the bathroom.

Mal confronts Jane so she can “befriend” her with some more awkward humor. Mal gives her a magic hairdo makeover in order to show good intentions and “suggests” getting her mom’s wand in order to make her more beautiful. You might reasonably assume what’s gonna happen is that Mal’s gonna end up genuinely becoming friends with Jane which prompts her change of heart but this “manipulate Jane” plan ends as quickly as it starts when the very next scene with Mal has Jane make it clear she can’t get the wand from her mom.

Okay so then, Lonnie, daughter of Mulan, enters the room and- wait, what!? Mulan’s daughter is named “Lonnie”... Okay, two things: A) That’s a boy’s name and B) THAT'S NOT A CHINESE NAME!! URG… so apparently, Lonnie heard about the makeover Mal gave Jane and asks for one in turn and pretty soon Mal becomes popular at school for her makeover skills. This makes Audrey jealous and concerned Mal is gonna make her obsolete in a scene that makes me hate Audrey even more!

During Evie’s subplot, she finds out that Fairy Godmother takes the wand out during the coronation (I’m gonna ignore the fact that that doesn’t make any sense because she wouldn't need it) and that only Ben’s girlfriend and family are allowed in the front row… oh no…

Yep, Mal decides to cook up a love potion. Or in this case, love cookies. While making the potion, Lonnie comes in and talks with them for a bit. Then we get a scene that’s obviously trying to drum up sympathy when Lonnie asks them if they’ve ever had their moms bake cookies for them. WOW! If only the dark side had THAT as an incentive:

Darth Vader: “Together, we can rule the galaxy as father and son!”

(Luke prepares to drop)

Darth Vader:“WAIT! We have cookies!”

Luke: “DEAL!!!”

Mal feeds them to Ben and he falls madly in love with her. So much so that, after the big tourney game, he… gets the entire team to sing and dance in a song called “My Love is Ridiculous”... Okay, I know musicals have to run on a bit of suspension of disbelief in order to justify breaking out into song...but even putting that logic out there, Ben’s just making a total ass of himself doing this… especially considering he’s supposed to be the future king (and I still have no idea why he’s becoming king). The song’s fine, I guess, but it’s the context surrounding the song that’s stupid. Also, Audrey gets over the fact her boyfriend essentially dumped her in front of hundreds of people really easily and decides to date Chad, completely absolving Mal of breaking her heart. Because, you know, that might have been interesting (also, this is presumably why Chad turned Evie in for cheating; he got a girlfriend so he knew trying to manipulate her to do his homework wouldn’t work anymore).

So anyway, later, Mal and Ben go on a date near the enchanted lake and Mal begins to develop real feelings for Ben, causing her to become conflicted and we get another song “If Only”... And for some reason, we get clips from earlier in the movie… um… a montage showing how the relationship built up only really works when it’s a TV series or something… also, Mal’s singing voice sounds WAY too old. During the date, Ben jumps in the lake...remember this.

Next, we get a scene of the kids getting to talk with their parents through video chat and it goes badly. Especially after Carlos lets slip that he likes dogs now, much to Cruella’s disgust. Also, the scene has really bad humor, moving on.

We get a scene of the villain kids being conflicted with Mal considering breaking the love spell on Ben but never mind that. Family Day! And the students sing… a rap version of “Be Our Guest”... MOVING ON!!

So Family Day gets off to a rough start. Ben tells Adam and Belle he’s dating Mal and neither of them takes it well. Hey, wasn’t the moral of Beauty and the Beast “Don’t judge a book by its cover”? Because that makes Belle judging Mal VERY out of character.

Things get worse when Mal runs into Audrey’s grandmother AKA Aurora’s mom… and she’s BLACK. Before I dig into what happens in this scene, let me discuss something. Remember how I said I’d get back to the fact that Audrey is “Ambiguously Brown”? Well, Aurora’s mom is black too. Now the obvious implication is that Aurora has gone through a “Race Lift” and now has dark skin… but… here's the other less flattering idea. You know Aurora's appearance? Blonde hair? Fair skin? A typical depiction of Western or European beauty where Sleeping Beauty is set. One of the gifts Aurora got when she was a baby was BEAUTY… YEAH! Combine this with the fact we never actually SEE Aurora and you get a really uncomfortable implication.

Anyway, the meeting with Mal and Audrey’s grandmother goes badly because she’s still bitter over the fact Maleficent caused her to miss the first sixteen years of her daughter’s life so she takes out her anger on Mal. Mal tries to apologize but Chad gets in the way and calls out Mal for stealing Audrey’s girlfriend (wait, why is he doing that when he got the benefit of Mal doing that?) and also… calls out Jay for being a gold digging thief and Evie for getting off on hurting people… UM… they never did this. Now you could argue Chad’s just being a shallow jerk but the way it’s framed and the acting don’t support that idea. It feels like we’re missing chunks of the movie here.

A fight breaks out and in the ensuing fight, Evie accidentally injuries Chad so the villain kids flee. Ben tries to stick up for them but his parents… tell him that this is his fault… WHAT!?!?

Next scene has the villain kids sitting lonely at a bench when Jane and Audrey come by to taunt them for no reason other than to be petty, I guess. What is wrong with the heroes in this film!? Are you trying to make me root for the villains?! Anyway, Mal, feeling equally petty, undoes her makeover of Jane, sending her running away crying. 

Next day is the big day. Ben’s getting coronated as king (even though I STILL have no idea why). We even get a brief cameo of Snow White as a reporter…why? I mean, clearly Cinderella and Aurora are still royalty so why is Snow White-- You know what, it doesn’t matter.

On the carriage ride there, Mal and Ben talk. And Ben reveals he knows Mal gave him a love potion. Apparently, the enchanted lake washed it away. And Ben… brushes this off, assuming that Mal did it because she wasn’t confident enough to tell Ben how she felt… that doesn’t make it better, Ben. She still essentially drugged you to get her way KNOWING you were dating someone else. Is Ben just forgetting he was dating Aubry at the time? Like..the movie kinda has the implication that Ben and Aubry's relationship is on its last legs anyway but it's still a horrible thing to do especially because as I pointed out earlier. The love potion caused Ben to dump Aubry in public! I don't care if Aubry is supposed to be the "mean girl" that's still really insensitive!

This brings me to another good point. Despite the fact that this is supposed to be a “redemption” story, the kids… never actually do anything really bad and have to face the consequences and the bad things they DO do, like Mal giving Ben a love potion, are often brushed off because he liked her anyway...kinda. I thought the point of redemption stories was having a character face the consequences of their actions and work to atone for those actions. But that never really happens here. Sure, they get a lot of “Sins of the Father/Mother” but that’s not really the same thing. The movie seems like it’s going through a lot of trouble to give each of them an out. Heck, probably the best example is coming up right now.

At the coronation, Mal finding out Ben really did love her makes her feel conflicted again but before she can make a decision on whether to grab the wand or not, Jane grabs it and tries to use it to make herself pretty. During this, she accidentally breaks open a hole in the barrier, allowing Maleficent to escape. YEP, that was the entire point of Jane’s subplot. To shoehorn in a reason for Maleficent to get released without having the villain kids actually have to do anything evil. GEEZE!

Anyway, we get a brief shot of Maleficent escaping through the hole in the barrier (why do none of the other villains follow?) and then Mal tries to help calm down a hysterical Jane. During this, Mal ends up getting the wand, putting everyone on edge…but Mal decides she wants to be good. And then she starts giving a speech about how “Good Feels Good” in a scene that goes on WAY too long and- Oh my gosh, didn’t Maleficent just escape!? GET TO THE POINT!!

Maleficent shows up and says what is probably the most out-of-character line she could say:

“I’m back!!!!”

She uses her magic to freeze everyone except the villain kids in place. Before she can use the magic wand, Mal tries appealing to her mom’s better nature but Maleficent just turns into a dragon (I’m actually gonna forgive the awful looking dragon effect, considering this was made on a TV budget) and attacks.

Okay, so this is it. The final battle. The villain kids’ ultimate chance to redeem themselves. A battle against a dragon! This is gonna be- NOPE! After some scenes of dodging fire, Mal just has the same staring contest with her mom that she had at the start of the film. This… somehow causes Maleficent to turn into a lizard… according to Fairy Godmother, this is because she didn’t have enough love in her heart?

…Forget it, the movie’s almost over.

The villain kids are fully redeemed and accepted, Mal officially gets together with Ben and makes peace with Audrey, Jane, and her mother reconcile in a scene that probably would have meant more if we had had some actual build-up to it and then we get a dance party ending where Mal gives us some sequel bait by telling us the story isn’t over.

Hoo boy… where to start with this thing…?

This movie is a mess. I wouldn’t call it godawful on the level of, say… Jack and Jill or Last Airbender but it’s definitely bad. Aside from Mal and maybe Ben and Evie, none of the characters are really fleshed out much and just end up falling into clichéd high school stereotypes. The plot feels really poorly thought out and, aside from Mal’s character arc, nothing feels developed enough. The setting feels poorly thought out too. I already listed issues with the setting at the start of the review and listed other stuff that was poorly thought out during the review and there is SO much more I could get into. It kinda feels like the executives just thought “Hey! Let’s make a movie about the children of Disney characters” and that was where the thought process stopped.

Any positives? Well, the acting isn’t bad. I can tell the actors are at least trying, even with the bland material they’ve been given and, aside from the infamous remix of “Be Our Guest”, the songs are alright if a little out of place.

But I wanna discuss probably my biggest issue with the film: Wasted Potential. I will defend the premise of “children of the main characters as the leads of the sequel” with my life but I barely ever see it go well. It’s mostly an excuse to be lazy like it is here. That’s what pisses me off the most about this film. They took a premise and setting with infinite possibilities for stories, good characters, and humor… and turned it into a generic, clichéd, poorly thought out, high school movie just with a fantasy twist.

Bottom line. This movie is just rotten… rotten to the core (sorry, couldn’t resist :P).

Comments ( 4 )

You know, when the movie first came out I thought it was... Okay. Nothing spectacular. But nothing horrible.

Looking back now... 😓

Good review, dude. Keep up the good work.

5088097

Thanks. And Thanks for the comment.

King of the “United States of Auradon”...wait, kings aren’t elected!

They are on Naboo, apparently.

Very thorough review. It certainly does seem a rather ill-thought-out film to put it lightly.
I think the reason films like this don't work is that the writers and producers try so hard to appeal to a generation who, as far as they understand, glamorise rebellion against high society.
So it ultimately comes off as patronising to the generation in question, annoying to every other generation and alienates potential viewers.
It certainly seems a poor decision for Disney of all companies to try to push this moral.
But this sort of thing does come out of their 'awkward phases'.

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