Loneliness · 5:29am Jun 30th, 2019
Have you ever found yourself wanting something you couldn't have?
I was at a friends house today when I did.
We were sitting at the dinner table together. It was what you might consider a normal dinner; nothing really fancy about the food or conversation.
And that's just it. It was normal. The parents were polite and made normal conversation and the kids trusted their parents with information about their lives freely.
And I sit here, all alone.
I've never had that, really. It's always been hiding; whether it was physical hiding or hiding information from my mother. My father... never got the chance to be my father.
I long for the ability to trust someone that much; to be able to be so close. All my life I've had to hide.
Even now, I hide behind the name of Nolamancy, because I am too scared to show who I really am.
Don't get me wrong, I don't envy my friend in any way. If anything, I feel happy for him that he is able to live a normal life.
But here I sit; longing for normalcy, longing to be able to trust...
Maybe one day I'll reveal who I am. But if that day comes, it will be the day the answer no longer matters.
