I've always failed

I lost my job recently.

I used to have a handle on depression. I used to be able to get by day to day without feeling like I was worthless.

I can't even remember why I was let go. My termination letter is on my bedstand, but I have no motivation to reach over it.

Without that income, I've been unable to pay rent. Thankfully, my landlord was very understanding and allowed me to terminate my lease early at no charge. I've had to move back in with my family.

It got so bad I almost dropped out of this quarter. Somehow, I managed to get back to class and catch up on my work. Thankfully I took Seras Novilious's suggestion and reduced the number of credits I'm taking per quarter instead of trying to go full time. It was helpful even before I lost my job.

Everyone else seems to do so well in life; being able to move on from even the hardest events. And yet here I am.

A failure.

I've barely accomplished anything in my life. Every deadline I try and make falls through. Every friend I make veers away.

All I want is a normal life.

All I want is to not feel alone.

Comments

[Seras Novilious]

This is why I haven't been able to get a hold of you, isn't it?

Despite what you might think, online friendships can be just as real as real-life friends.

I am here; don't go at this alone. It never ends well to do so.