Is it egotism, or desperate need for validation? · 11:06pm Feb 14th, 2019
Trixie's talk with Berryshine could easily be addressed to me. I do have a few demons of my own, some major, most minor. I struggle with a lot of issues.
That's neither here nor there, other than, I guess, a prefatory remark. I enjoy writing. A lot, in fact. And, for the most part, I write for my own satisfaction and pleasure. I say "for the most part", because there is no small part of me that writes so that my readers can gasp, chuckle in amusement, groan at puns, get lost into the imagery, perhaps even catch onto foreshadowing. The problem is . . .
. . . I rarely know if any of that is happening.
At times it is crushing to post a chapter that I've put a great deal of imaginative effort into, and be eagerly awaiting to see what readers thought of it . . . and nothing. Was it boring? Too wordy? Felt discordant?
At times the desire for feedback I tell myself is strictly objective, the desire of a writer to continually improve. But, more and more often, I wonder if that desire is actually the craving of an egomaniac thirsting for praise, or the utter lack of self-confidence desperate for validation.
I just feel lonely at times, like scattering pages to the callous wind, watching as the sheets whirl off into the empty abyss.
Writing is often a lonely thing. But 122 upvotes say you're doing something right! That last chapter with the firework show was particularly great.
5013660
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! That particular scene has been in my mind from back when I first started The Ties That Bind, and I've been dying to put it into words.
It was genuinely moving. No question you can write!