The chronicles of Project Horizons : chapter 68

Sorry for the delay folks ! I had a much needed Christmas with family and friends so I am sorry for the lateness, especially since those are the last entries in that journey that was reading Project Horizons, the fanfiction. Do not worry though, I'll have some stuff to write about some fundamental elements of the fiction and believe me, there is a lot to say. In any case...

Let's go !

We're barely a few seconds in and I already need to talk about the dumbness of what Project Horizons' logistics are. Those are... stupid. So let me try to sum it all up because this is some next level type of "Supension of Disbelief" that is required there. Let me break it down :

After Luna essentially blackmailed GB into staying into the government, he started becoming paranoid and actively stopped sleeping and as such, he was getting easily manipulated by the Eater of Souls through one of the StarMetal pieces that I think Amadi gave to him. When manipulated, he is essentially told to create the Moon Cannon known today as Project Horizons.

To create such a secret Project without anyone knowing or even participating in it since ponies would definitely try to tamper with it if they knew about it, he essentially SECRETLY sent multiple rockets to the Moon with mechasprites to build the whole Nightmare Castle and whole shabang then used Steelponied-enhanced unicorn blanks to execute complicated zebra rituals that he apparently didn't need the Black Book for (even though it implies moving a Star Soul into a piece of Moonstone). There was also an insane amount of Flux transported through those rockets that SECRETLY made multiple trips. Of course, the whole IA on the Moon was... also secretly setup by the GB himself through remote control (even though it makes no sense, how do you remote control blanks to use zebra magic ? How does that work ?)

So let me ask a simple question : How do you SECRETLY send multiple rockets to the Moon without being detected ? Gardens of Equestria, I can believe in some sense since it was done conjointly with Twilight in a remote part of Equestria and there was a whole mind erasing thing with the workers (yes, that's A LOT of suspension of disbelief. One worker blabbing about the Project could have been enough. Hell, what if the MoM arrested one worker and peered into their mind.) but here, we are supposed to understand that neither Luna or any of the Mane 6 noticed multiple rocket launching from their one and only base for it ? Also, how long did building the cannon actually took ? I mean, just for the rockets alone you would have needed people to refuel them and take care of the launch procedures and so on and so forth !

Project Horizons existence is nonsensical but I guess we can forgive that because it creates drama ? No. The whole affair resides on the supposed smart conspiracies that were so smart nopony knew about them so coping out so hard with the Project that is the name of the fiction is simply lazy. It's clearly an instance of getting the idea first and trying, poorly, to get the whole thing explained but it was not well done. Also, since when are blanks even enhanced with Steelpony, immune to the lack of air in space ? Plus, if just touching Moon Dust can induce so many issues with unicorns, how come the Blanks never had an issue with it ? Are we supposed to understand that the Mechasprites just created the whole castle and the transports by themselves too ?

In any case, everything about this part is dumb, especially if it was the Eater of Souls plan. It seems way too rushed for such a central piece.

The next part of GB's monologue is about him being manipulated by the Eater of Souls for Horizons at the very least. Somber is trying here to create something very blatant : he wants to show GB as more of a victim. Yes, he was a manipulative asshole that killed, lied and betrayed everyone with close to no repercussion (for fuck sake he locked himself up at his own request instead of being killed.) but look ! He was blackmailed by Luna ! He was manipulated by the Eater of Souls ! He lost his daughter (well, not really) ! Somber is trying to make this character as a sympathetic asshole (like all of his villains) but it fails hard for me for obvious reasons : it doesn't excuse shit and I get it's not supposed to but I don't think it's possible to redeem GB even a little for a lot of his decisions were his own.

Next we learn how GB's mother died. It's not interesting because we don't even know how she got to be fucked by Blueblood. I mean, she's presented like a strong female interested in the world and its wonders and as a fundamentally trusting and accepting nature so... why exactly did she fuck someone that is the antithesis of that ? He was hot so she banged him ? I suppose that's the reason to be honest. When she dies, she essentially see the future and tries to kill her son. Cry me a river, Goldie.

Then... we have a confrontation with BJ's "not an executioner mantra" and I have to say, I'm impressed to see it adressed. Does this mean that our BJ is going to see the obvious hypocrisy of her ways ? Honestly, for a good majority of the time, it actually does just that by presenting instances of her executioner tendencies and how she massively fucked up and it's done genuinely without pulling any punches and I have to say, I like this scene. However, where the scene is badly handled is that they don't explore the point : they press the point then the goalposts are moved. First, the simulation wants to prove she has been an executioner in the past but she replies that she did fuck up... So isn't that an admission of being an executioner even if she wants to believe she did out of impulse ?

No time to dwell on that !

The next phase is to try to show her that being an executioner is the more sensible choice in certain aspects and the simulation shows people she should have killed to avoid a lot of suffering and... this is her response :

“Because it would be easy!” I screamed at him, wanting to crush him with my bare hooves, tears on my cheeks. “It took me all of a minute to make the choice, and just like that, I killed forty children! And it was so damned easy to do!” I sniffed, fighting myself. “Goddesses, you stupid fuck, I’m good at killing. I’m a fucking artist at it. And at getting people killed, too.”

Yeah, no BJ. You're not fucking Batman. Stop saying that killing someone is too easy and that it would force you into a spiral of destruction : you are ALREADY in that spiral, you fucking hypocrite ! It's not about you NOT being an executioner, it's about you trying to not get consumed by your executioner tendencies. So yes, you indubitably ARE an executioner but you TRY not to be one anymore than you already are. If it had been stated like this, it would sound less hypocritical. BJ is denying what she IS in favour of what she WANTS TO BE. Essentially, her philosophy is not based on reality but on a perceived vision of her own self that just thrives in its own delusion. She's the tragic martyr of the Wasteland that just tries to do better but nopony wants to let her be the higher mare.

She tries to counter that if she let herself be an executioner, she would have become a Reaper like Rampage, uncaring about anyone but herself but that's also a lie. BJ is literally seeing the world in extremes : either you are a cold-blooded killer that drinks the blood of children or you're the martyr trying your best to protect what you want to protect. Except, this distinction is a delusion too. Remember that BJ kills profusely when she feels she's in the right, so this philosophy of hers is as malleable as she wants it to be. So even as far as chapter 68, we're in front of a BJ that still doesn't want to face the obvious lies she's telling herself and who even bests GB at his own game. (Not a smart pony my ass but you know the drill.)

I glanced at Goldenblood and felt the Reaper me melt away. If things had been different… if I hadn’t killed forty foals with a button… if I hadn’t done so many things… might I have been a Reaper wondering what it was like to do better, or a corpse waiting for a bullet? “Goldenblood’s better at this than you are. He wouldn’t have tried to talk me into killing him by telling me I’m something I’m not and will never be. Now go away. The big ponies have business.”

Keep telling you that BJ. Everybody loves someone that lies so defiantly. I think they call that a politician.

Then we have more of GB the egocentric saying that his whole contraption is a complicated thing to make his executioner realize why he killed him off. Honestly, that only makes him more detestable but BJ being BJ : she offers him a second chance. I won't repeat the same thing I said back at Sanguine's second chance in order to avoid repeating myself : it's stupid, it's dumb and you need to know when you're giving someone a chance they doesn't deserve. Especially when you basically treat him like an equal when you know how devious he is but oh well... what can I say ? PH is potato.

What I find particularly dumb is this :

“You’re going to make me hit you again,” I said, flipping the table out of the way and leaning towards him, giving him a hoof-poke-punctuated list. “One. It is not just about you. Princess Luna, Twilight Sparkle and her friends, and even Princess Celestia all had their share of the blame. You didn’t rub your hooves together and cackle about how you were going to rule Equestria from behind the throne. Two. It is not all about you. I am trying to save ponies now. That’s me doing better. If you really are such a shit that you can’t be trusted out of this pen, then eat a bullet and get out of the way. But if you really are as smart as you pretend to be, then get your ass in the game. And three. It’s really not about you. You’re smart, but you’re actually not that important at this point. And now that you’ve told me about the star spirit, I think I’m starting to understand just how ridiculously big this really is. But if you still don’t want to help, then I will give you what you want and be on my way.” I crossed my hooves in front of myself. “I am not an executioner, but I am a mare on a mission, and if I have to get rid of you to complete it, then so be it.” I paused, pointed a hoof at him, and added, “I will probably whine, angst, and beat myself up about it later, but if that’s the price for saving everypony else, then I’ll be damned and pay it.”

So, BJ is going to downplay the importance of GB's influence because other ponies share the blame ? Sure, why not. I mean, I would ask why you bothered showing us lines upon lines of GB's horrors if it's just to say that everyone did bad things during the war. I mean, a blame is not divisible : if two people killed someone, then the blame is equal for both so while you can say Luna is as much to blame as GB... it doesn't make anything he did less important, devious or backstabby. I mean, he is responsible directly or indirectly for EVERYTHING in the war so, that's a childish manner to appear adult.

The second point is at least pragmatic... if you discard the aspect that he could outwit you and backstab you for the sole pleasure of... getting killed ? Because unless you somehow have brainwashing skills, he still wants to die but I assume that scolding him hard enough is going to change 200+ years of self-inflicted torture. The third point is incredibly stupid because... it's actually a backhanded way of giving me what I want without having the balls to say it : You're an executioner if it serves your goal. Or she's bluffing to look cool. Honestly, it's more likely than I'd like to admit.

Then she actually convince a computer to kill GB with Kindness, thus freeing him of his self-made prison and then they have some banter as if they were friends. It's extremely jarring and while banter between enemies can be done, she treats him like a friend right away when there was a fucking buildup to something that never happened. GB is simply there and I feel nothing but sadness for a character that is ridiculed when he was built up to be an incredibly intelligent pony but then again, the "not so smart pony" is above petty things like rules.

Then we have the return of Drunk BJ which means that she is invincible right now and that we entered the cartoony Wasteland. So now that Drunk BJ is invincible and learned how to get out of the Shadow Realm. She learn that she needs to take the Phase Talisman to the King so she provokes him into a duel and after learning that Daddy Hades can remove things from existence on top of being a badass fighter with a sword and armor, and she essentially wins, blinding him with shards of glass and the Phase Talisman gets destroyed in the fight which... conveniently, pulls the WHOLE CASTLE out of the Shadow Realm.

Yes I skipped a lot of the fight intensity and overall "humor" but I personally don't find Drunk BJ funny because she always ridicules her opponents, win without so much as a scratch and by winging it completely. Some might just love those kind of moments where BJ goes full stupid and actually wins. I find it annoying and lazy. I mean, just drink some Wild Pegasus against the Eater of Souls then. You seem to win easily with it. It's like your invincibility star from Mario.

Then we have a discussion with Psychoshy about how troubled she is about meeting her father, GB and how everything went to shit after the castle went back in the Light World. Exposition essentially. We also learn that BJ can't teleport other people with her, she just don't succeed in doing it. It's a setup for a later payoff... somewhat.

After another scene of distrust because she claims to be Security like so many others, Sagitarrius (a Zodiac that barely had enough time to become a character) brings her to Zodiac because BJ believes that the Professor is a fucking backstabber that is working with Cognitum and worked with the zebras during the war... which makes her character whining about discrimination pretty much a beautiful hypocrite but then again, it's hard to think GB didn't know about this, unless the Brood wasn't used in the war at all ?

Oh, we also meet... cosplayers of BJ and friends. It's embarrassing to talk about it. It's dumb, it shouldn't be there and it's not even a one off gag either. It's a sad reality that I have to deal with that serves no actual purposes but to extend needlessly this plot contrivance on top of making for an easy disguise. It's not clever, it's ridiculous, especially when the explanation for why it exists is so flimsy. So skipping it.

Then confrontation with the Professor, GB put Fluttershy in contact with the Professor for the betrayal that'll lead to total annihilation and GB actually KNEW about her being a spy but he didn't make sure she wouldn't be a double agent when he especially studied her case in the first place. Are we now in the phase of making GB dumber and dumber to reduce his mistakes or is it worse ? I can't tell. Essentially, Zodiac betrayed because ponies were hypocritical assholes that lynched her. So her response is to help zebras nuke the world and continue in her effort by helping Cognitum rule like... Luna did ? Or let the Eater of Souls destroys everything ? Are everyone stupid ? I mean, sure, it recontextualize why BJ was saved by Zodiac (because she was a minion and her mistress wanted her to stay alive... Lucky.) but it also makes it impossible to see Zodiac as anything but a bad twist villain.

As for the rest ? She's killed by Calamity in the back. We learn that they are BJ & Friends cosplayers because people misunderstood a comment from Homage to "be like your heroes" and we learn that Somber needs to explain Homage comments as being white lies to help the Wasteland try to go back to a state of normalcy. I have actually no fuck to give to anything Homage does for a very simple reason : she's Homage.

Skipping ahead and BJ meets back with Glory after she has been... rejected by Cognitum impersonating BJ and she's pissed.

End of chapter.

Closing thoughts : Dumb, ridiculous, insulting, hypocritical. Yep this is BJ in PH alright.

P.S. : Yep, just one chapter this time, it's far more manageable for me but don't worry, I'll try to do more at once when we'll reach the bore that are the last chapters because believe me, they are filler.