Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks PITCH MEETING (Parody)

So, you have an Equestria Girls sequel script for me?

Yes sir, I do. It’s called Rainbow Rocks.

Great, now the last movie didn’t do so well at the box office, but it did do a good job at boosting our toy sales, so do you think that you could just do that again?

Yes sir, I can. In fact, I even went ahead and actually put a little bit more effort into this one.

Well, I doubt a little more effort will make that much of a difference to an Equestria Girls movie, but okay. So what’s the movie about?

Well the movie is gonna start in a diner, where everyone is arguing with each other, and we’re introduced to the villains of the movie: The Sirens.

Who are the Sirens?

They’re these three magical fish creatures from Equestria, who can control people with their singing and then feed on their negativity to make themselves stronger. They caused a bunch of trouble in Equestria over a thousand years ago, so Star Swirl the Bearded banished them to the human world, where there wasn’t any magic for them to absorb.

Alright, so what are their names?

The leader’s name is Adagio, and one of the others is named Sonata, who’s basically the Pinkie Pie of their team.

Okay, and what about the third one?

Oh, it doesn’t matter. We’re not even gonna say it in the movie.

Well, alright.

So anyway, the three sirens then notice the magical explosion from the end of the first movie, which they recognise as Equestrian Magic, so they’re like, “That’s Equestrian Magic. We can absorb that and become stronger.”

Oh, so this movie takes place immediately after Twilight leaves?

No, we’re actually going to jump ahead a few weeks.

But the magic is right there. Why don’t they just go and absorb it now?

I don’t know.

Oh, I found a plot hole in the first few minutes. This is an Equestria Girls movie.

Well, don’t worry. There are going to be less plot holes than in the first movie.

It’s certainly going to be hard to have more.

Right, so…

Or even the same amount.

If I can continue?

Sure, go ahead.

So, anyway, we’re gonna skip ahead a few weeks, and Sunset Shimmer’s started a whole new life, being friends with everyone that she’s tormented for years, and the girls are now in a band called The Rainbooms.

I imagine that Sunset’s going to be best friends with everyone, like everything she did in the previous movie didn’t happen.

No, see I actually decided to do something a little different with Sunset Shimmer here, and have a former villain, you know, actually face consequences for her actions.

Hmmm, I don’t know.

What do you mean?

Well it’s just that it’s kind of our thing that villains are all instantly forgiven, so I’m not sure about changing that up now.

But this will help make it seem that Sunset has really earned their trust, making it more relatable, so people will like her more.

Hmmm, still, I don’t know.

Well, I’ll tell you what. If you let me do this, then for the next season, I’ll have a villain destroy whole realities, and not only will she not face any consequences for her actions, but she’ll also join the main group.

Oooooooohhh, I like the sound of that.

I thought you would, sir.

Not facing consequences for your actions is tight. I ran over three people on the way in here.

What?

So what happens next?

So then later, Sunset is going to meet the Sirens, who are secretly observing the school, so that they can find and steal the magic.

Well, it should be pretty easy for the girls to defeat them since the Sirens all old women.

No, they’re all teenagers too.

But they’ve been in this world for over a thousand years now.

Yeah, I guess they just don’t age.

Huh, you’d think that the government would have noticed something like immortal teenagers.

No, and that’s actually something that you’ll notice a lot of in these movies. The government basically doesn’t exist.

Oh, really?

Yeah, the girls are going to constantly use their magic in very public places, and no one will react to it, like at all.

Huh.

So then later, the Sirens use their magic to sing a song in the cafeteria to make all of the students fight with each other, and to make it so that an upcoming music contest becomes a battle of the bands, so that they can feed off of the negativity.

Okay.

Fortunately, the Rainbooms are unaffected because they have magic, and they start to suspect that something magic related is going on.

Oh, so they’re going to ask Sunset for help, because she knows all about magic?

No, actually they’re going to try and contact Twilight again and get her help.

But wait, I thought that Sunset Shimmer was the main character of this movie?

Well, she kind of is, but we’re still going to bring Twilight back, so that we can slowly ease Sunset into the position.

Okay, but in the last movie, we established that the portal between worlds only opens up once every thirty moons, so it’s gonna be pretty hard to bring Twilight back into the story.

Actually super easy; barely an inconvenience.

Oh, really?

Yeah, see Sunset has this book that can send messages to Princess Celestia between worlds, so I’ll just say that since the book can still work between worlds, Twilight can just put the book in the mirror, and that will keep the portal open.

Alright, so Celestia gets Sunset’s message and then passes it along to Twilight?

No, actually Celestia’s journal is in a pile of books that she sent to Twilight.

Why would Celestia get rid of a book that she uses specifically to contact Sunset Shimmer?

I don’t know.

Oh, I found another plot hole.

Right, so anyway, Twilight goes back to the human world to try and figure out a way to defeat the Sirens, and since the Siren’s and the Rainboom’s magic is both activated through music, she reasons that they can defeat them by playing a musical counter-spell.

Well, that should be easy to do, since these characters break into song all the time.

Actually, it’s gonna be super difficult; very much an inconvenience.

Oh, really?

Yeah, now that it’s important to the plot, suddenly they’re all bad at coming up with songs.

Even though these girls are in a band and write their own songs?

Yes, in fact, one of the plot threads in the movie is that Fluttershy has a song that she’d like for them to play, but no one else will listen.

Oh, another plot hole.

Please stop doing that. So anyway, the Rainbooms then do their audition for the battle of the bands, but the Sirens use their magic on the students to make them sabotage the girl’s performance.

Okay.

And then they’re going to take control of the teachers so that they still choose them to move on to the finals.

Wait, why would the Sirens sabotage the Rainboom’s performance if they still want them to move on to the finals?

Because that will make the other students angry that the Rainbooms were chosen, so the Sirens can subtly manipulate them to imprison them underneath the stage, so that they can feed off of their magic.

Okay, but why go through all of that when they can just take control of the students directly and have them do all of that?

I don’t know.

Oh, I found another plot hole.

Please stop pointing out all of my plot holes.

Please stop putting in so many plot holes. So what happens next?

Well, after they’re imprisoned, they all start arguing with each other, which lets the Sirens absorb their magic because of the negativity, but Sunset helps them to overcome it and they all escape so that they can defeat the Sirens in an actual battle of the bands, with magic.

Okay, so they now have a magical counter-spell.

That’s right. They decide to use the song that Fluttershy wrote, and even though she wrote it before all of this happened, it turns out to make the perfect counter-spell.

Oh, that’s convenient. So, the mane six all combine their powers to instantly defeat the villain?

Well actually, they do try that, but this time, the villains start fighting back, so they can’t instantly defeat the villains.

Oh, no.

But then Sunset Shimmer’s gonna join in, adding her own power/friendship to theirs, and they do defeat the villains instantly.

Okay, I’m guessing we’re cementing her as a redeemed character now?

Yes, we are.

Well, don’t get used to it. Every other villain-turned-hero will be redeemed immediately and off-screen.

Of course, sir. So, the Rainboom’s magic destroys the siren’s gems, so now they can’t sing or steal magic.

So wait, does that mean the Sirens are going to starve?

I don’t know; probably.

Well, alright then. So how does the movie end?

Twilight’s going to go back to Equestria, and Sunset becomes a full fledged member of the Rainbooms.

Amazing. So is there anything else I should know?

Well, you know how Marvel always includes a post credit scene at the end of their movies to set up a sequel, and now every other movie is just copying them?

Yeah.

Well, I decided to do that too, so there will also be a post credit scene, which will show the Twilight Sparkle of this world investigating all of the magical disturbances around at Canterlot High.

Oh, that sounds like a really interesting setup.

You really think so?

Absolutely, and if we keep making more of these movies, we’re gonna make even more money with toy sales.

Okay, but do you think that people are gonna like the movie?

Well I’m sure that it will do a great job at promoting our toyline, but considering how badly the previous Equestria Girls movie was bashed, and the increasing amount of plot holes in this movie… no, I don’t think it’s going to be liked at all.