The chronicles of Project Horizons : chapter 39

So, this chapter does explain a lot of things. Some things are still as stupid as ever and some other are a bit different than I thought they would be. Also, and I am guilty of all charges, the whole fight sequence near the end is something that I had a really hard time to go through. It was too long and my eyes just glossed over what is essentially just another thrill ride for BJ but something that does wear down pretty quickly.

Let's go !

So we learn why Discord is here. Initially, the war had started to weaken the seal on Discord's prison as such Luna suggested to make his prison out of the Star Metal they were excavating. It worked but for some god damn stupid reason, they decided to put the Spirit of Chaos in a basement in Hoofington the hottest point of the war instead of... anywhere else ? Put him in your silver statue and then hide him away from the war to avoid him being released. Also, the fact that Celestia and Luna trusted GB more than they trusted the Mane 6 is astounding to me. Shouldn't the elements of Harmony be aware of the fact that Discord is a threat and should be contained ? I mean, if he was to escape only the elements would have been able to stop him so I really don't get it.

We also learn that GB simply decided on his own to drain Dicord's essence. How did he know that was possible to do ? I don't know but he certainly did it and as such GB is even at the source of the IMP because without Flux and his research she would never have made it. GB this, GB that. The guy cannot be the reason for something and since a stupid never comes alone, we also learn that... the O.I.A needed a budget that was more important than 3 of the Ministries combined. Of course, because there's nothing more secretive than a secret organisation that drains the economy more than any other institutions. I'm sure Luna simply said "Amen" because GB was her only friend, right ?

I'm happy to see a determined Twilight finally... Too bad she dies a week later when the bomb falls. Yeah, we can't have the Mane 6 be too much of a character because can you imagine that they could be... equals or even superior to GB ? THAT CANNOT BE SO ! GB is the star that we must all follow in the deepest of night.

Then the Dealer tells us that he's the spirit of someone who never mattered and is not GB. Honestly, I doubt it. The Dealer has the exact same attitude and opinions as GB and is written in an extremely similar fashion. I still think he is GB or something related closely to him, hell he even knew the password of Discord's containment (it possibly could be Horse but honestly, he is such a non-character that the reveal would be pointless). We also know that Red Eye never took a real interest in Chimera and that was why his troops (who were INSIDE the facilities) left without a care despite the obvious advantage of it all. That's a poor excuse, Somber. A real poor one. You mixed the most overly-ambitious character of FO:E with a god complex, with your own story about overly-ambitions projects and you're best reason not to alter FO:E is to say that Red Eye... simply didn't care ? That seems very unlikely.

Then we meet Discord and quite honestly, this first scene with him is not too bad. He is a bit more of a cynic because of how weakened he is since GB pushed the torture button to max but he feels like Discord... something that won't stay true for the entirety of the chapter, unfortunately.

And now starts the longest and dullest action sequence ever. It's long. Far too long but first, there are some talks, let me start with this gem :

The mare grimaced, then finally nodded. “Are you going to kill Sanguine?”

I frowned, not sure of that answer myself. “Only if he forces me to.” Psychoshy looked at me the same way Rampage did when she talked about my softheartedness. “You think I should?”

Keep that in mind, folks. BJ literally abandoned the idea of killing Sanguine because she's not an executioner. Are you hoping that her sentimentalism will be the source of her downfall, letting an enemy alive for the simple stupid satisfaction of keeping a moral high ground that nobody cares about except he ? You know that's not going to happen.

We learn later that Project Horizons seems to be like a super-megaspell that could annihilate the Zebras. Well, FO:E already has that one, it's called the Celestia One and apparently it made the sea boil and every citizen of the Zebras Islands burn to death. However, I have a feeling Project Horizons might be a Moon laser or something because... well, the REAL Project Horizon was about a moon base in 1956. It would be a big coincidence if ti wasn't related to that in some capacity.

Also, I can't help but find insanely funny that Luna was perfectly okay with lying and concealing informations to the Mane 6, the ones she appointed (lol, it was GB) to the head of the Ministries and is ready to demote and execute GB for the Gardens of Equestria just because it's a contingency plan that wastes resources and send a bad message. Hey, Luna, it's a secret project that lasted only 2 years. I don't think it's that much of a drain to your economy when you finance stupid stuff like Chimera. Also, what kind of leader doesn't think of a contingency plan ? Hell, you could make the case that even if Equestria won the war, the Gardens could help rejuvenate the land, so it's stupid to think it only works for the worst case scenario.

But Luna can't be too smart or GB wouldn't be both the most intelligent martyr and the best manipulator ever.

And then we get the Sanguine sob story and it's as stupid as it sounds. Sanguine was just a normal gentle doctor when he was wrongly accused of being an opportunist asshole and so he became an opportunist asshole and was recruited by GB and he personally took care of Fluttershy's pregnancy. Apparently, she had a miscarriage for some unknown reason still linked to GB and the foal was stillborn, breaking Fluttershy's heart. Of course, the infant wasn't stillborn and was put in a stasis pod without ever being noticed to Fluttershy. Essentially, Sanguine pickpocketed an infant for his personal use. We get a lecture about the Magical String Theory and we move on.

We learn that Project Starfall was the name for Folly and... we also get an implied information that GB wanted to gun down the Evil Star God in the Core thanks to Folly. Something he never did. Why ? I don't know.

We also learn that the Ministry of Image had spies, meaning that's the third ministry to have spies. It's starting to become a bit ridiculous but what do I know ?

Then, Somber really tries to make Sanguine sympathetic with his family and sob story but I'm sorry Somber. I'm not Blackjack, you won't sway me with just saying "Yep, he was a monster but he loved his family !" Sanguine isn't a character I can empathize with, it's too late for that, especially since I know you're just going to kill him off and spare BJ the burden of actually acting against him and evolving as a character. Because no matter what you do or say, she's not noble. Sparing him isn't there because she's going to give him a second chance by trying to redeem himself through hard work, no. Sparing him is just there for her to avoid the necessity of facing the hard truth that is that, if she wants to be a hero and makes the Wasteland a better place, you simply cannot let selfish mass murderers doing whatever the fuck they want.

So yadda yadda, an Ultra Sentinel arrives kills Sanguine's family and he goes feral and they run away from the robot tank. The action scene continue with the Pink Cloud part that has at least the benefit of treating the Pink Cloud as something really dangerous and not just... mildly inconvenient. She loses and ear and it's not a bad scene but damn, does it make an action scene inside an action scene and honestly, I don't think I believe for a second that any of the characters could die. Mainly because the writing made it clear.

Then Discord is freed by BJ and one of his first actions aside from destroying the robot is to kiss BJ on the mouth and deeply so. Well, that's certainly not something that was completely gratuitous and honestly I don't see Discord being silly and random. He is creative and cunning and he is certainly not honest about his feelings of gratitude.

And then a giant, fat Discord rose up from the sudsy water wearing a strange diaper. “Ooooyyy!” he said as he stomped one fat leg, then the other, setting himself in as squatting position. “Domo arigato, Mister Roboto!” he roared as the Ultra slammed into the huge draconequus. The Ultra gave an electronic squawk as its wheels spun in futility, while Discord slapped it repeatedly with his lion paw and eagle claw while screaming, “Baka! Baka! Baka! Baka!”

That was cringe. Never do that again.

Then we have a whole chase sequence that is Indiana-Jones like and is fun for a while but quickly became less interesting as the scene was clearly intended to be spectacular instead of being tense. I think I already talked about it but Somber as this habit to change the tone of a scene to make it so it's impossible for me to see it just as a roller coaster ride. Yes, it is fun to read for a bit but it lacks the tense aspect of "Will they make it ?" However, I will admit that if people read PH for those adrenaline-filled moments then they are not badly written, I just wish they had a purpose more than adding six thousand words of a chase scene that is ultimately a creative way to hide that he needed his characters to get to the next place for the story without making it an ellipse.

At the very least, we have a Terminator reveal where BJ understands that she's 99% machine with just a pussy and a brain for whole organic parts. Everything from her organs to her bones are mechanicals. Convenient that everything was available to BJ to heal her in a matter of days. Oh and she also got the guns of Vanity.

As for the rest of the chapter : BJ gives Stable 99 to an Applejack Ranger to be their new base in the Hoof. Scotch is in stasis, Glory is still Rainbow Dash and the sky is still blue.

Closing thoughts : So many missed opportunities. GB is still God almighty and the only thing of interest is the chase sequence that was still too long and stakeless for my tastes. At least we can hope to have more info on BJ being a Terminator ?