There was a Ninja, some woman with green hair named Gertrude, probably my sister Vengeance, and Lord Skywalker. You know. The one that likes to snorkle.) colabed on a story! Goblin Maimer. Patereon Reward for A.P.O.N.I. · 2:16am Nov 15th, 2018
Heya, word aficionados!
Gonna keep on keepin'-on with my Patreon rewards by tackling a couple more chapters of The Wandering Inn. This particular set of chapter reviews is brought to you by A.P.O.N.I.
Okay, I’m going to get nit-picky right out of the gate because the very first sentence bugged me here:
Erin found a stream running idyllically down a hill a few hundred feet away from the inn.
Wait so… the stream isn’t idyllic, per se, but how the water happens to run down the hill in an idyllic fashion? It just struck me as an odd way to construct the sentence. Also, if the stream is in fact idyllic, I’d be down for another sentence or two describing its beauty, or something. Again, I’m being a tad nitpicky, but tripping over the opening sentence in chapter kinda stings.
Maybe Erin’s just not big on describing things while she’s being chased by goblins who want to harm her.
Oh yeah, Erin is still being chased by Goblins that want to harm her. Goblins she takes time to examine while fleeing to describe in detail including the arrangement of their teeth.
I mean… sure, she certainly cares more than the goblins that probs want to kill her than the stream, but why then take notice of how pretty the water looks at all in this case?! I just…
Okay, I’m going to eat a delicious Lindt truffle and see if that’ll calm me enough that we can proceed as per normal.
Okay, let’s see… the goblins scream and…
Erin was used to hearing screams,
Uh… Okay, well now you’ve got my attention, Erin. Out of your hobbies of “snowboarding, watching Youtube videos, playing chess, shogi”, which one exposes you to lots of screaming? Either you watch some pretty out-there videos or you have another hobby you’re not telling us.
Alright, maybe reading on will answer some questions.
but they only came out of humans.
No, I only have more questions now.
Anyhow, Erin makes it back to the inn and starts closing entrances as best she can. However, the windows are just protected by flimsy shutters, so…
This, but far less cute and with filthy/rusty weapons instead of Lego hands.
However, it seems the game mechanics kick in just in time for Erin to start kicking and picks up a chair that proves more effective than a real wooden chair (the narrative points this out). She eventually beats up and drives off her attackers. I’m glossing over that bit mostly because the writing flows quite a bit better in the combat section, also there’s another hint that Erin’s pre-spirited away life was quite possibly far from ideal.
Erin hits Innkeeper level 4, prompting her to wonder what happened to levels 2 and 3. However, that’s the sort of thing that happens when you don’t have to split exp and you face a ton of mobs… though leveling up twice over a group of entry-level trash mobs is a bit of a stretch in any system, regardless.
Okay, next chapter! Where I will hopefully get further than—
The young woman sat in a chair and pondered.
*Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*
Just say ‘Erin’, save the changeup for at least the second time you’d say her name.
Anyhow, this chapter is mostly just the young woman recovering and figuring out routines like feeding herself to keep alive. It somewhat makes for decent world building in that we kinda understand the mechanics of this strange land a bit better, however, I found it somewhat jarring that Erin still nearly got sick drinking so much water because she was dehydrated mostly because of how realistic it is. It’s making it rather hard to gauge where old-reality ends and new-reality comes in. Clearly, this female of a youthful age gets some benefits from her new, odd locale, but there are still certain mundane functions of her body that remain the same that usually wouldn't be part of a simplified RPG approach… I'd make a joke about her being in GURPS world, but GURPS refuses to stoop to the simplicity of character levels. Furthermore, if this WHERE GURPS, the skills we where shown should be broken up further into the composite skills involved in the task. Oh, and she should be working on about five times as many skills as we've been shown.
It's not a system known for its brevity, is what I'm getting at
Anyhow, if infection is a thing here, she’s not in for a good time with all the cuts she got from rusty and filthy goblin weapons.
Person who is girl, but in the older sense, but not so old that you would consider her a fully developed adult has a bath in the freezing stream water that presumably was idyllically flowing around her as she bathed. She manages to catch a monster fish with teeth and rock scales that she brings back to the Inn where she cuts her hand while faking her [clean fish for consumption] skill.
This, but… actually, just add another set of eyes behind the front set and we’re good.
She has to cut up some drapes to bandage herself then goes to bed hungry and hurting.
Poor Erin?
Not to suggest what’s happening to her doesn’t suck, but two more chapters in and I’m still having the same problem with the story as I did last blog on this, and that’s that I’m still not sure what Erin’s deal is beyond a couple sentences she’s offered. I’ve seen her talk to herself a few times and run in terror/defend herself, but I still feel like I’m missing pieces that I need to have a full character. I’m not sure I view Erin as a ‘blank slate’, anymore, but to me it feels like she’s an animal at the zoo I’ve sat and watched for a little bit.
This makes it a bit hard to get into the story, especially this last chapter, as there’s not a ton going on and a lot hinges on being invested in what’s going on with Erin herself. With Erin not really dwelling on what she’s messing or focusing on anything except for keeping her surroundings clean and basic survival I’m just kinda expected to care about this freakin’ lemur that’s running around its enclosure and doing lemur stuff.
On the plus side, aside from a couple stand out things here and there, nothing has grated me too much. So, while I won’t say I’m completely invested on if Erin successes at…whatever the frick her main goal is that she hasn’t bothered to disclose or so much as think about yet, nor am I that concerned if Erin dies a slow and painful death from goblin cut infections and self-inflicted kitchen wounds that do her in because she has no antibiotics or healing spells, I guess I’m not actively wishing for harm to come to her…in-so much that I want her to suffer. I mean, the ‘combat’ is still the most engaging thing.
Right then. Well, if all goes according to plan, which it never does, I should tackle a bit more of this this month as I again play catch up with rewards. So, you know… Look forward to that… or look forward to Erin getting gangrene and dying alone without ever thinking about what she actually hoped would happen to her. Whatever, I’m not here to tell you how to enjoy stuff.
If skittles were salt, you'd have the full rainbow here bud.
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Juuuuuust waiting for Erin to give me a good reason to care about her plight or root for her. I mean, five chapters is a bit far to travel without knowing what your one and only character's driving force is.
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I know, I'm just teasing you.
Ok, now you got my attention sir, Miss?
)
When can I start to read the story (quiero decir, que sea conveniente el empezar a hacerlo? Ya sabes, para tener una mejor apreciación de la historia
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It's totally up to you if you want to read up to where I'm at or go further or decide you love it and binge it. I usually keep recaps a bit shorter, just that first chapter I tackled today had a few pieces that I felt warranted extra attention.
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OK, thanks I'm going to read it tomorrow after school, but I'm going to leave were you go, so I can enjoy even more the salty skittles (as Nova call your observations) ;]
I think that's the most positive you've been about any of my suggestions.
I'll take it!