Wraithy is still blundering through Skyrim · 12:01am Aug 2nd, 2018
I met a talking dog today. (At this point I feel the need to clarify that I met an actual dog that could talk using his mind. This was not some weirdo in a dog costume.) The dog told me he had a falling out with his master and needed my help to get back together with him. (At this point I feel the need to clarify that the dog is the physical manifestation of a lesser-god's conscious. This was not a creepy sex thing) I followed the dog to a cave filled with vampires, all of whom I killed in self defense. Then I spoke with a statue that told me to take the dog and go find a big ole ax and bring it back. I tracked the ax to a cave where some mage and his living fire sex doll had it. (At this point I feel the need to clarify that this was an actual living sex doll made of actual fire. I did not get her number.) After reasoning with them, I took the ax from the mage's dead, heavily burned hands and brought it back to the statue. The statue offered me a deal: either kill the dog and keep the ax or hand over both for a demon helmet.
My new helmet has rather large horns. I'm going to have to remember to duck when I go through doorways.
Statues in Skyrim do that a lot. I had one offer me two free months if I switched long distance carriers. I said no thanks and had the messenger keep carrying me on my way.
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