CURRAHEE! A Screaming Eagle in Nonsensland · 9:50pm Jul 18th, 2018

Well, it’s that time again. The time where I start catching up on reader supported blog posts… from last month. Whoops.

Courtesy of A.P.O.N.I. Let’s check in with our favorite animated stuffed bear who doesn’t get his own movie about growing old and trying to recapture the wonderment of a forgotten childhood.

*Scared stuffed bear noises as it is carried away by a human-sized eagle*

Sounds about right.

This chapter we learn more about Mordecai, who is not the bird in this case, but the ranger person who showed up last chapter. He and father type person Caradon chat about raising children in a stat/class-based systems which makes for a delightfully surreal exchange that’s part small-talk between dads and part optimizing a D&D character build.

Also, there’s a buncha hints dropped that daughter type person Celia has some epic destiny ahead that she’ll need levels open for to handle. Fun, fun.

And then we’re back with Threadbare as he deals with his ‘Screaming Eagle’ which is about a man-sized eagle that stuns things with it’s scream before it picks them up to be devoured.

Still not as scary as World War II paratroopers

Because it’s Thredbare, all the bold is back.

You have been affected by bold letters!
Your sanity is afflicted!

The play-by-play would take a while here, but basically Threadbare first tries hugging the eagle to alleviate is a possible misunderstanding. That doesn’t work, so they get into a fight with Threadbare holding his as best he can until the little girl cavalry arrives with an army of toy golems.

Threadbare pushes the girl out of the way of the eagle’s FUS RO DAH and it gets beat up by a bunch more toys still.

Deciding that’s a rather embarrassing way to die, it flies away.

And then Mordecai rail-guns that bitch with an arrow.

Imagine the apple is the eagle and the bullet is Mordecai’s desire to explode eagles.

So, the day is saved and Caradon and Celia reunite where tears, hugs, and heals are exchanged and Caradon gives Celia the most gentle “Welcome to the REAL world, jackass!” speech he can.

And Celia agrees to learn the art of Rangering (technically scout and archery) which involves being left alone in the woods for a few days (eventually) .

But wait! Lulu’s Imp familiar shows up to remind us that cussing is a thing in the story, wrings its hands evil and… is effing murdered by, and I quote “Twenty-five pounds of the gods’ perfect killing machine.”

Sure, it’s adorable, but I’m quite certain it’ll ruin your day if it decides to jump from a tree on top of you

But the imp fades to mist so “Uh-oh!”s might still be in order.

Gotta admit this chapter was a bit of a jumbled mess. I mean, it had plenty of cute and awesome moments, but the storytelling was a bit… odd… we start with two men discussing children and ominous stuff for later in the story, then jump to Threadbare, then back to everyone when they’re all present, and then the imp, and then Pulsivar. All within one chapter without any real indication a narrative shift is coming.

While I enjoyed the world building delivered mostly through context and dialogue, we also were spoon-fed a lot of unnecessary details regarding different types of giant eagles. Also, we’re constantly reminded Threadbare can’t read his stats and stuff which just increases how intrusive they are. The writing does offer some great lines and can certainly paint a picture when words when it wants to.

Hopefully, it’ll tighten up as we move along.

Already, another chapter covered for… last month!

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