Sandwich Poem · 9:17pm Mar 27th, 2018
Sandw-itch
By: Brickbrock24
A man walked into my sandwich shop,
A buff guy with flowing blonde hair
And chiseled muscles of steel.
He marched up to me,
Slammed his hand on counter,
And demanded
A sandwich suitable for his super strong self.
I wasn’t exactly sure
What kind of sandwich a macho man
Like this would want. So I offered
Him a new item that I added
To the menu recently.
He said “Sure, why not?” So I got to work.
Preparing the sandwich was a game of Solitaire,
Meticulously laying out the slices of
Cheese, Lettuce, Meats, and Tomatoes
Where they needed to go
Atop the bottom half of homemade hoagie roll
To ensure the even distribution
Of all the delicious and delectable flavors.
When the sandwich was done,
Mr. Macho picked it up,
Took a bite,
And started chewing
With delight.
But he soon found himself on his knees,
Begging for mercy from the unbearable pain
Of the war between his nails
And the dreaded rash that sprouted
All over his buff body.
Pins and needles,
Dry skin and poison ivy,
Flea bites and chicken pox,
His horrible hives were a manifestation
Of all of those terrible things.
“What the hell is wrong with you?!”
He yelled at me
With utmost fury, “Why didn’t you
Tell me there were nuts in that sandwich,
You goddamn idiot?!”
I told him he never asked if there were nuts
In the bread, to which he snarled at me
And threatened that he was going to kick my ass.
I should have been utterly terrified that a man
With such amazing abs and brawny biceps
Was going to beat me to a pulp,
But those tingly hives
All over his body were doing a fine enough job,
Kicking his ass for me.
I may have lost a customer that day,
But, hey, now I know to put a warning
Under all of my potentially
Allergy-inducing sandwiches.
That was majestic adventure
4922531 Thank you.