I'm Incredibly Bored · 9:32pm Mar 6th, 2018
I remember a time where I was never bored. I could be content for hours upon hours in a room alone with nothing to do. I've always had a really busy mind, with too many things going on to explore them all. I did a lot of worldbuilding, I wrote 200 pages worth of fantasy novel, and was always Roleplaying with my best friend within worlds we created ourselves.
I've been sick with the flu the past few days. All I've done is huddled in my bed watching trashy youtube that I don't even care about. I feel bored, and can't find anything to do. Today I wanted to worldbuild, but when I started I realized I forgot how to create things. I realized it takes energy and enthusiasm, of which I have none anymore. My youtube feed is bland but I have no interests anymore, so I don't even know what to search up, so I end up watching the same meaningless trash in a lame effort to entertain myself. My inner worlds have burnt out. My mind is quiet. I feel like it's deteriorating. I want to create but I don't have the energy. I haven't had the energy in years.
I hate chronic depression.
I'd rather be terminally ill.
At least then I'd get to live before I die.
Hugs and Well Wishes!
4811400
Thanks. I appreciate it. Hopefully by tomorrow I'll be able to go back to work and class. Then at least I'm forced to be occupied. :P