dying here- · 1:32pm Sep 12th, 2017

minor story spoliers

“Oh dear, Alternia, you are really as pure and innocent as we remember,” gasped Belladonna, once she had caught her breath.
I was about to retort, but Simulacris spoke first. “Did you notice anything about the changelings, Alternia?” she asked in a cheeky tone.
I frowned. “Well…” I thought back to the brief look I had of the newest members of my staff. “They were mostly male.”
Chrysalis nodded sagely. “Precisely.”
I blinked, and my jaw dropped open.
“Oh no.” My hoof slapped against my forehead. I didn’t care that my shoe banged against my carapace. My sisters had really torn it this time.
“You did not seriously insinuate what I am thinking you insinuated,” I said.
Belladonna snickered. “Be a little more specific, Alternia.”
I groaned. “You suggested to those changelings that they might have a chance at becoming my consort.”

“Seriously, Alternia, how long has it been since you have lain in bed with a lover?” Chrysalis asked.
Oh by the great mothers, Chrysalis did not seriously just inquire into my romantic history. This could not be happening!
“Fifty-four years,” I replied automatically. My last lover had been an artist who had often been hired to paint my portrait. He got to know… Celestia? Me?
Okay, I know exactly what I do not want to mention to Celestia ever.
Anyway, regardless of whom he got to know so well, we shared many nights together, until he finally decided to settle down, and we parted on good terms.
Suddenly realizing what I had admitted, I snapped my mouth shut. I answered that, didn’t I?
Simulacris, I swear on my mother’s name, whistled. “Wow, that’s a really long time, Alternia.”
“I can’t exactly just pick a random guard and bed them!” I snapped back. Immediately afterwards I clamped a hoof over my mouth and watched as my sisters’ grins grew so wide, they began to turn into leers.
Belladonna started giggling again. “Ohohoho, I should have let more of my female changelings know about your preferences. I didn’t realize you liked the same sex as well.”