• Member Since 16th Feb, 2012
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More Blog Posts689

  • 311 weeks
    Season Eight Episode Reviews: Molt Down

    This week is a Spike episode? What a re-”molt”-ing development this is!

    Let's look at “Molt Down,” the episode that will surely be perfectly normal and have no long-lasting repercussions on a character's appearance.

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    2 comments · 2,470 views
  • 312 weeks
    Season Eight Episode Reviews: Break Up Break Down

    I dread going into this week's episode. For today, we discuss matters of the heart. Romance, love, heartbreak, and all that rot. Which means we run right into the most loathsome of all fandom constructs, the kind of thing that destroys friendships and leaves the most brilliant of minds curled up helplessly in a corner, foaming from the mouth:

    SHIPPING.

    Read More

    6 comments · 1,767 views
  • 313 weeks
    Season Eight Episode Reviews: Non-Compete Clause

    We've had a string of good episodes the last few weeks. Whether it be shapeshifting seaponies, an actual Celestia episode, or discovering Starlight's dark phase, we've had lots of fun and plenty of laughs.

    Today's episode is about Applejack and Rainbow Dash competing.

    The good times are over.

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    7 comments · 1,608 views
  • 314 weeks
    Season Eight Episode Reviews: The Parent Map

    Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone who cares about that! What better way to spend the day than watching a cartoon about horses dealing with their mommy/daddy issues? Well, tough, because that's what we're doing. This is “The Parent Map.”

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    4 comments · 1,151 views
  • 315 weeks
    Season Eight Episode Reviews: Horse Play

    So hey, it's a new episode. Surely nothing to be excited about. Just another standard episode of a cartoon pony show.

    Only it's a CELESTIA EPISODE!

    Prepare for extra spicy biased scoring as we look at Best Princess' newest episode, “Horse Play!”

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    5 comments · 1,282 views
Aug
19th
2017

The REAL lesson of today's episode... · 7:00pm Aug 19th, 2017

Today's episode taught us a valuable lesson. I don't mean the nonsense about not assuming the worst of two friends before they've had a chance to meet, or how we can learn from each other's strengths and weaknesses to become better people. No, this is far more troubling.

In this episode, we learned that Twilight lives in that is, essentially, a castle made of dragon candy.

This might not seem like a bad thing, but think about it. When has anyone living in anything made of candy been a good thing? The witch from Hansel and Gretel lived in a gingerbread house for the sole purpose of luring in children to eat - this is the fairy tale equivalent of the windowless van. Or how about Willy Wonka? The man lives in a candy factory where everything's also made of candy for some reason, and yet he spends his days inflicting permanent physical disfigurements on children while being a creepy asshole.

What does this mean for Twilight? Since the castle is made of rock, it obviously will only attract dragons. With Ember lulled into a false sense of security, she will invite other dragons over to sample the wares. And that's when Twilight will strike. She will use the spell she and Starlight developed in secret to massacre the entire dragon race while they gorge of the "free candy rocks." Their individual parts will then be sold on Equestria's markets. Their skin will be made into fine clothing and luggage, their scales into jewelry, their blood and eyes into medicine ingredients, etc.

And what about Spike? Well, he would discover what is to happen and try to warn Ember...which is when Twilight would present Rarity with a new purple makeup case.

Beware the evil of Twilight Sparkle! Do not accept her treats! Do not drag me away from the keyboard! I'm trying to warn the people! No, I will not take my happy pills! Noooooooo....

(Sorry. Anyway, rather meh episode, typical for a Spike outing. Still better than last week.)

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Comments ( 5 )

Does this mean the crystal ponies were bred as dragon treats?
:pinkiegasp:

Does the tree regrow parts that were bitten off?

To be fair, a flash flood is still better than last week's episode. :unsuresweetie:

I don't think I ever learnt a lesson here that I already didn't learn through basic life experience.

Somehow I could only see that as a grimdark sort of universe and only where Twilight has a problem with dragons where she'd even harm her own little brother/son. Seeing how she loves Spike and is friends with Ember, I can't see this as happening in any other universe.

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