100 Videogame absurd logics · 2:39pm Jul 19th, 2017
A videogame can warp us to magical worlds beyond our imagination, where we can interact with their characters, think about perspectives of lifes or simply have fun. However, there are incongruities and absurd reasonings that, although they don't ruin our experience, when you think of them, you realize how bizarre they are. This is the Top 100 videogame absurd logics.
1. Job is for boring people, cutting grass and breaking jars is the best way to earn life.
2. People doesn’t have the cranial capacity of thinking in a second answer.
3. Animal fights are legal, have good incoming and sustain a whole civilization.
4. If you find an extra coin, bill, etc. you have to leave it there.
5. Close combat attacks are effective at any distance.
6. If the police follows you, don’t worry. Behave like a good person and they’ll leave you.
7. Lingerie brings more protection than any armor.
8. Lie in the court is illegal, but who cares if that gives you a major challenge.
9. The trash of one man is the weapon of another ingenious man.
10. A single punch gives you 7 consecutive punches.
11. White is a great color for warps.
12. Medicine is for boring people, eating is the best way to heal your wounds.
13. If you’re the hero, everything is weak and you’ll always win.
14. Guards can only see in front of them and don’t know what necks are.
15. Your female partner will be gorgeous and won’t have many clothes on.
16. You find a lot of objects? Well, here comes the boss.
17. You haven’t find objects for some time? Well, here comes the boss.
18. If you’re the final boss you’ll have 3 phases, no more or less.
19. The world isn’t ruled by your skills or choices, everything is based on experience.
20. If you’re wounded, suck your thumb and you’ll be ok in less than 10 seconds.
21. The horizon is protected by an unbreakable force field.
22. The sparkier the attack, the most powerful it will be.
23. You can appear things by spontaneous generation.
24. Look, a zombie horde! The good news is that you’re immune or your partner is.
25. You’re dead? Never mind, you’ll come back to life in the last checkpoint.
26. There’s a girl in the game? If you’re the main character is yours.
27. Every soldier has bad aiming.
28. He disappeared! Just kidding, he just disconnected from the browser.
29. Floating objects are common.
30. They’re just there, but you must collect them all.
31. Leave a Tamagochi alone, nothing will happen. (10 minutes later) What a surprise, it’s dead!
32. If you’ve already jump, jump again in the air. Trust me.
33. If something dies, it has to explode immediately.
34. Your opponent will wait patiently until you attack it.
35. If your team is big, one will die.
36. If you’re the chosen one, you mustn’t have parents.
37. Profane your opponent’s corpse as sign of victory.
38. If he was your friend, he’ll be the bad guy later.
39. Swim with ease, your lunges will last from here to eternity.
40. If you punch a living being, it’ll pour 20 gallons of blood per punch.
41. People used to talk with a textbox.
42. He’s bigger and stronger than you, but you’re the hero. Don’t worry.
43. You can die as many times as you want, but remember to have your rings.
44. That shiny spot will heal your wounds.
45. You shot him in the foot? Congratulations, he’s dead!
46. A tank can be destroyed with 3 impacts.
47. No matter what you think, don’t go into dark places.
48. If you touch an object, it’ll be warped to your pockets.
49. A wrestling move doesn’t hurt your spine, break your skull or kill you, but it drops your life down.
50. Never trust a flower.
51. If you’re electrocuted, your skeleton will be visible and you’ll shine in white and blue tones.
52. Recover that object quickly to mute that annoying noise.
53. If the music mutes, prepare for a jump scare.
54. You can figure out how it works, but it’s better if I remember you.
55. Money is the most absurd and useless thing in the world, if you’re poor it’ll be for stupid.
56. Big guys resist headshots.
57. Water levels are hard as fuck.
58. The enemy you killed 5 seconds ago respawns 5 seconds after you killed it.
59. If you memorize the boss’s moves, he’ll become your bitch.
60. Your bullets warp to your next bullet cartridge.
61. Your fists are the only thing you need to create a society.
62. Guards doesn’t care about the noises you make.
63. The damage you receive doesn’t affect your efficiency in combat.
64. Go into a box and you’ll be invisible for the universe.
65. Chickens are evil.
66. Cars are driven by themselves, drivers don’t exist.
67. A drift will never damage your wheels.
68. If one part of your body touches a spike, you’ll die.
69. If the story is based on historical events, the protagonist did something to have the world as we know it.
70. You don’t need to touch something to interact with it.
71. The most useless weapon is the most effective against the boss.
72. No matter where you are, music will be there.
73. Your partners are a bunch of idiots.
74. If you punch your enemy consecutively, he won’t resist.
75. The world will darken when you do your supreme technique.
76. You’re the only one who can save the world, but the people will charge what you need.
77. You have a lot of power, but you must learn how to use it.
78. Don’t trust a woman, she might be a very feminine man.
79. Bosses like to fight you when you’re powerful enough.
80. The biggest creature in the universe fits in your pockets.
81. When an animal grows, it doesn’t necessarily remain the same species.
82. You’ll always have the money to pay for what you want.
83. Nothing can bring down a locked door, not even nuclear weapons.
84. You forgot something in the previous room, go to check.
85. If the water is not blue, you mustn’t swim in it.
86. If you’re defeated, you must do a pain cry.
87. You’re the son of God or the reincarnation of evil, there’s no middle point.
88. Dodging attacks is disrespectful.
89. In a combat, you’ll always be warped to a zone different than when you were originally.
90. Enemies will give you prizes for killing them softly.
91. No matter your complexion, you can jump up to 3 miles.
92. Not every wall is real.
93. You’re not a soldier, just a camera with legs, hands and a weapon.
94. The less time you spend killing it, the greater the reward will be.
95. You can’t ride a bike inside a building.
96. Are you poor? Never mind, hit that rock with your shovel and you’ll see how many coins come out.
97. There will always be a color system to guide you in everything, green, blue and red.
98. Trees can give you money.
99. No matter how long you train, how many years of discipline you support, and all your experience, if you are not the protagonist, any fifteen-year-old asshole will beat you down.
100. A voice beyond your understanding will always evaluate you.
What do you think? Is there any logic I have missed? Let me know in the comments.
Don't forget when a boss is about to die they will start to flash red or yellow.
Don't forget when you take the boss down a peg or two he will inadvertently use some technique to regain all his health and make you do it again, becasue how else can they make the fight challenging right?
also love this...
reminds me of this scene so well.
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